The photos of the Randy suggest a preternaturally stubby, thick silicone cock – so much so that my initial impression was something along the lines of, “There’s no way that there’s something this stubby and thick on the market.”

Ladies and gentlemen, I was wrong. My first impressions were completely incorrect. The photos didn’t add thickness and didn’t subtract length. The Randy is genuinely very stubby and very thick.

The key advantage to the stubby/thick design is that those size queens out there who prefer deep penetration no longer have to worry about hovering above the dildo. There’s no longer any need to hold back on the thrusting. How you take advantage of that new freedom, however, is completely up to you.

The Randy’s design allows for a number of different penetration options. The flared base is ideal for use with a harness and the suction cup allows for riding the dildo. For those who are more old school in their sexual preferences, the Randy can also be used for standard penetration by holding on to the base.

Even with large hands, the Randy’s base can be difficult to keep a firm hold on. The material is flexible and, therefore, prone to bending and slippage. This presents a particular set of challenges when using the dildo either alone or with a partner.

With a partner, the flexible base may mean problems gripping the dildo with slippery hands. When used alone, the width of the Randy’s base can limit ease of access to the clitoris.

Because the base is so wide and flat, it’s an excellent dildo for a harness. That same quality means that, when inserted, the base covers the majority of the vagina. This is a tremendous advantage for those who can reach orgasm from penetration alone or those who may enjoy the feeling of the base rubbing against their clitoris.

Those who enjoy vibrations or other stimulation on their clitoris during penetration may find it challenging to get around the silicone. Clitoral stimulation with your hands or a vibrator during penetration with the Randy is certainly possible. It just requires some adjustment.

The Randy’s suction cup is integrated into the base and adheres easily to a wide range of materials. Its strongest grip is on laminates and ceramic (the bathroom!), but it also works on paint (walls!). Whatever smooth surface you choose to adhere the Randy to, the suction is strong enough to withstand powerful riding.

The silicone material does attract lint and is slightly tacky (in a rubbery sort of way), but these very slight drawbacks in no way detract from the Randy’s functionality. Clean-up is easy and convenient - toss it in the dishwasher, rinse it with soap and water, spray it with toy cleaner, boil it if you prefer.

Even though the Randy is strong enough to take a beating, it can’t withstand silicone lubricant. If you do decide to play with the Randy, be sure to use a water or oil-based lubricant.