Cock cologne - male intimate lotion by Evolved Novelties - review by Champagne and Benzedrine (Roland Hulme)

Cock cologne

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Breath of Fresh Air

Don't let the cheap packaging and cheesy name fool you - this is actually a pretty nice little product that will probably be quite useful in the average man's collection of toiletries. It won't replace soap and water; but it is an effective and sex-safe way of instantly freshening up prior to getting down.
A very pleasant smelling spray for freshening up your privates, effective and safe.
Cheap and tacky packaging, Will not EVER replace a shower or bath.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


For years now, there's been a market for products that freshen up a woman's private bits. It plays into many women's insecurity - that they smell less than fragrant between their legs (and also ignores one of the truths of sex and sexuality - that most men or women don't really care.)

Now the conceit has come full-circle, with a product especially designed to help men's private parts smell better. Cock Cologne is a neat little spray that promises to freshen up a man's skunky sex parts with just a few squirts.

Listen, I'm not going to lie to you - I kind of have issues with the concept behind this product. It strikes me that funky-smelling privates - which are the curse of both men and women - require something slightly more proactive to freshen up than a few spritzes from a squirt bottle. Yet I gave it a try none-the-less.

Application is easy. Much like a regular cologne, you just depress the lid and a few squirts of fragrant water come spurting out. The ingredients are mostly water, with a little fragrance, aloe and caster oil. It does the trick, certainly - but only in the same way that a spray with an Ax deodorant serves as replacement for a shower.

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

Cock Cologne is a mixture of water and fragrance, and has a light, fragrant feel to it with a slight slickness. The closest equivalent is a woman's body spray - and the effect is largely the same. A few sprays leave your privates slick and smelly; but it won't replace a scrub with soap or water. There's a slightly slick sensation afterward - like rubbing yourself down with baby oil after a shower - but that's actually quite pleasant.

Taste / Aroma

Cock Cologne actually has a REALLY nice smell to it - musk and sandalwood with a fresh lightness to it. Perhaps the most astonishing thing about this unusual product is that it is actually nice enough to use as regular cologne.

As for taste - one of my concerns was that it would be overpowering; like using real cologne on your privates. In fact, it's very subtle, almost tasteless and certainly not enough to make anybody turn their nose up at getting nostril-deep into the spray zone.


Cock Cologne is actually surprisingly effective at what it does; but you need to be sensible about how and when to use it. If you're sweaty and stinky and unwashed, this product will not replace a shower or bath (although a generous spritz and a wipe down with a towel is certainly effective.) This is more of a toy to use after a shower or bath; to add a little pleasant fragrance and a smooth sensation that will make sex more enjoyable and sensuous for all involved. Think of it, in fact, exactly like cologne; albeit one with a few cleverly considered differences to make it cock-compatible.


Cock Cologne comes in a plastic spray bottle with a gigantic picture of a cock (the chicken kind, not a penis) on the front. It's classless, tacky and kind of undermines what this product actually is. Based on appearances alone, I had very low expectations for Cock Cologne and the actual product was much, much better than expected.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Do you like this review?
  • K101
    Lol. I loved this review! I wondered how this stuff would turn out. Thanks for all the details! I like that you put "it will NEVER replace a shower." Lol. Let's just hope nobody buys this in hopes of using it for that purpose.
  • Katelyn
    Love your ax reference lol. This product is super interesting, thanks for reviewing!!
  • sktb0007
    My partner owns this. It smells really good! Thanks for sharing!
  • BadassFatass
    I find this very strange for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on. Thanks for the review. Haha.
  • Beneath The Bed
    HAHA, second Kendra here!
  • darkkitty
    Thank you!
  • Jenny Smith
    Thanks for the review
  • bayosgirl
  • monkey87
  • pinkzombie
    Thank you
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