Review of Remote control egg - Egg discontinued

My boyfriend (henceforth referred to as "Jay") and I were thrilled with the idea of a wireless, remotely controlled, 10 speed, vibrating egg. We did get one, but that is where my expectations stopped being fulfilled.

This product can be used for vaginal insertion and clitoral stimulation. I found the latter to be a more fulfilling use of this product. I do not recommend anal insertion.

I initially bought this toy with couples fun in mind. The idea of giving Jay a remote to control my every sensation made me melt. Sadly, Jay and I both found this product disappointing to use (I'll explain why in the "Performance" section of this review). We attempted to use it during oral sex but would have to pause when the egg did not respond making it a real buzz kill. As a BDSM fan, we incorporated it into our spanking. This was one of the more successful uses as Jay would leave it on one speed. During intercourse it can be used to stimulate the clitoris or tease other sensitive parts such as the nipples.

Jay could not control the vibrations if we were not next to each other. This means going out with covert vibrations in mind would be out of the questions. He could not turn it on or change the function from across the table, let alone across a room (even a very small one).

It works well for masturbation and the remote has a longer range when it is outside of the body (mind you it still isn't a good range).

The egg is waterproof so it can be used in the shower. Always keep the remote away from water and make sure the vibrator is screwed tightly shut. Don't leave it somewhere with high humidity and I wouldn't bring it in the bathtub unless it is inserted.

It is travel friendly and can be easily hidden or packed away.

As for Jay (a man)- here is his opinion "My favorite uses include stimulating the woman while she is performing oral sex (which would be possible with this product if it wasn't for remote issues), in the shower and foreplay. My understanding of the product was that I could have the vibrator inside my girlfriend and be able to stimulate her from a distance, unfortunately that is not a possible use with a remote that has such a short range."

The egg is made out of plastic and the exterior has a soft, slightly velvety texture very similar to the Velvet Touch Vibrator. This product is still very hard and has some weight to it from the batteries (6 LR44 in the egg, 4LR44 in the remote).

I really enjoy the feel of the vibe's outside and it is phthalate and latex free.

The remote and the bullet have little plastic loops to hold onto or retrieve them by. Be careful, there are metal nubs on both and they can scratch (especially sensitive areas!).

I wouldn't recommend licking it, it has a plastic taste that is residual on anything inserted after the egg has been taken out.

It smells like plastic but is not obnoxious.

The design of this product is very simple- pill shaped vibrating bullet with a squarish remote (rounded corners).

The remote is small enough to fit in a pocket or the palm of you hand.

The bullet is more wide than I expected and rounded in the front for easy insertion. As I mentioned before, the remote and vibrator have plastic loops to hold or retrieve them by with metal pieces than can be uncomfortable. The plastic strap on my egg was half severed when I received it, I am hoping it does not snap off entirely.

It can be hard to insert without lubrication and may be larger than what some beginners expect.

Both remote and vibe are easy to hide and/or pack for travel.

I was disappointed by this product and Jay was aggravated (literally, he wanted to smash it after the 50th try) by the remote performance which was the only reason he wanted it.

The egg is remotely controlled however both myself and Jay could not get it to respond unless the control was being held within 6"-12" inches of my stomach (if the egg was inserted). The product was finicky. Sometimes it would respond at a greater distance, other times the pink remote would just flash it's red light with no response. The vibrator seemed to have much more trouble responding around electronics- computers, television sets, etc. I have no idea what would cause this affect however this was consistent around my laptop, Jay's computer, and all of the TVs in our home.

The remote itself is actually quite cute. It is a matching pink with a red light on the top that flashes once the remote is on and once every time you push the button to change a speed. There are only two buttons- the on/off and the "10" which switches the function. You must click to reach your desired setting and complete the whole 10 speed loop to get back to the beginning.

As for reception, I found I had the best luck holding the remote sideways and pushing the button in for a few seconds. Jay had much worse luck. While the egg was inside of me he could rarely get the vibrator to switch functions or turn on/off. Stopping to figure out why the egg wasn't responding made for mood killing breaks in play. Eventually we both became so annoyed by the lack of remote reception that the egg was left on one vibrating function and the remote was cast aside, completely defeating the purpose of having a remote controlled vibrating egg.

The vibrations were actually decent (save for some repeats) and the 10 speeds included:
1 slow, solid buzz
1 medium, solid buzz
1 fast, solid buzz
1 medium to fast buzz that resembles a car accelerating
1 fast, repeating (or throbbing) buzz. If underscores were buzzes it would look like _ _ _ _ _ _ etc.
1 fast, repeating buzz very similar to the previous just much faster.
1 fast, solid buzz
1 slow, solid buzz
1 medium, solid buzz
1 fast, solid buzz

It says 10 function, but many of the vibrations are very similar.

This product's controls are simple and user friendly. Sadly that part is irrelevant because the vibrator rarely reacts to them.

The noise varies based on the speed but compared to other vibrators is not all that loud. Once inserted most of the noise is muffled.

Performance is decent in the water but I wouldn't recommend submerging the egg if not inserted. The only thing separating batteries from the water and preventing corrosion is a simple plastic mechanism which screws the two halves of the bullet together.

The battery life is decent unless only fast vibration settings are used.

Jay says "The functions worked fine, it was just a matter of getting them to work when we wanted. Instead of building on the mood it was detracting from it. Making us stop to try and turn it on or switch functions.. it was terrible."

Clean with soapy water or toy cleaner before and after each use. Store it somewhere dry with low humidity.

After play I would also unscrew the egg and clean the threads on both sides with a semi moist paper towel and then dry it to prevent a build up of undesirable substances or corrosion from left over moisture. If you are getting out of the shower, clean the egg as usual and make sure to dry the threading for the same reason.

If you are careful with the remote it shouldn't need any maintenance aside from 4 new batteries on occasion.

Comes in a small box which advises you to "Enjoy your happy life everyday!"

Very basic directions are included on the back of the packaging.

Made in China.

We were so upset that this remote controlled toy could barely be controlled remotely. Our reason for getting it was so that he could tease me from across the room or under the table with wonderful vibrations. Sadly that is not something this product is capable of delivering.

While the vibrations are nice on the clit, many cheaper vibrators deliver similar or better results.