This torpedo might blow up and not in a good way...

This torpedo very well may blow up. Being that it is lacking in vibration, loud as a chainsaw, and hot as hell, this may blow itself up upon use. This toy for me was a huge let down and I will not be ordering another one.
Published:
Pros
Comes in pink and purple.
Cons
Gets hot and is ear ringing loud.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

The intended use for this Pocket Wand Torpedo is as a clitoral stimulator. This toy is probably the worst toy I have ever purchased. This toy sounds as loud as a chainsaw, but the actual vibrations are not even there. I got this toy intending to use it as a clitoral stimulator; I could not even feel anything from this toy. It has a very weak vibration.

The best place for this toy in my opinion is in the trash can. The best use to get out of this is if you want to drive someone nuts with the loud sound. I would not recommend this toy for anyone due to its weak vibrations and horribly loud sound. Usually I do not mind loud sound; however, this is ear ringing loud.

This toy was also a pain to figure out how to use. When it first arrived, I opened it up to make sure it worked like I always do. This is hard to open, hard to get batteries in and out, hard to figure out what end to use, and hard to close. This seems like it would be an easy toy to use, however this thing was a pain in the ass, and not in a good way.
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris

Material / Texture

This Torpedo Pocket Wand is made of smooth plastic. This plastic is food-grade material, latex free, phthalates free, and hypo-allergenic. This is like your basic traditional vibe in design. There is no texture added to this stimulator; this is just smooth plastic. Although maybe texture would help it out! This toy is also not flexible at all.

There is no smell present with this toy, which is great. Nothing worse than a stinky toy. There also is not a taste with this toy. However, toys like this I hardly ever put it my mouth. Upon touching this toy, you can tell that this is very cheaply made plastic. This is smooth plastic, however it is also very thin and light weight; this you can tell when touching.
    • No odor
    • Not porous at all
    • Smooth

Design / Shape / Size

This is a six inch tube that splits about a fourth of the way; this is where you open to put batteries inside. Inside the short end is the motor, the other end is the battery holder. The battery holder has a removable spring attached to a metal bar that goes all the way up to the top of this unit. On the other end, there is a tiny little metal piece. When these ends are put together and these pieces touch, it turns on.

It is shaped kind of like a pop slice without a stick. Both ends of this toy are rounded and measure three and a fourth inches in circumference and one inch in diameter; this is neither over nor undersized. This is a perfect design for all users.

This is discreet enough to hide in your socks and travel with it, if this is what you want to do with it. However if you do travel with it and have not used it yet, bring a back up. This lacks in power! The sound of this toy is by no means discreet, so do not try to use this anywhere near someone else whom you do not want to hear it; they will hear it.
    • Beginner

Functions / Performance / Controls

This toy functions poorly. This Torpedo lacks in power. I am very disappointed in this toy. I only saved the toy long enough to write a review about it. This toy is extremely loud, so loud it makes my ears ring.

When you put in batteries and twist the top until the two metal pieces touch, this torpedo turns on. There is only one speed, and this speed sounds like a chainsaw and is very weak. This seems like an easy way for a toy to turn on; this is not true with this one. This toy took me at least ten or fifteen minutes to figure out. This does not open easy at all. You have to twist and pull, really hard to get off and on.

This is powered by two AA batteries. Putting these in are a pain. You have to put one in, and then with the second one, push the first one all the way down, although nothing is worse than having to remove the first inserted battery from this torpedo. When you open this to take them out, the top battery comes out just fine. However, that first inserted battery gets stuck. The only way I found to get it out of there is to bang it as hard as possible on a flat surface. I banged mine on the desk ten times before it came out. The toy is tough enough to handle this.

This toy gets hot after having it on, and I am talking very hot. It vibrates so loud that there should be power, however all this motor seems to do is make noise and get hot. This gets so hot you might think that this torpedo might actually blow. All the battery power must go to making heat and noise.

This toy is not water proof; do not use it in water. This toy can be used with all lubes and is recommend that you do so, unless you have enough natural lube going on.
    • Loud and hot
    • Not enough variety
    • Weak

Care and Maintenance

I stored this toy in my new lock box inside of a pencil bag I purchased; this is the bag I use to store all of my plastic toys. This toy could be stored almost anywhere. Since this is plastic, it is very easy to maintain. All you have to do for cleaning is wash this toy with mild antibacterial soap and warm water. Allow this toy to air dry being careful not to get water on to the motor as this will burn the toy out. This toy is not waterproof so do not submerge. The end that is the battery holder can be submerged if need be, not the motor end.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

This is packaged in your basic plastic case. There was a cardboard insert that was not very informative. This did not explain how to use the toy at all. In fact the only thing this package was good for was a laugh, talking to you like this is your Russian mail ordered stud. There is a bunch of statements on there like "You will never forget your time with him." Also things like "With Russian man's energy and body, and the shape of torpedo, added with the powerful motor. It is ready to dig the deep of the lady. The vibrator focuses its energy in one area. Although it seems a little hard, it can be rubbed quite firmly. It can give lady the special feeling, take lady to the deluxe and sexy world. Stimulate partner to sexual orgasm."

This is not discreet packaging since it is see thru. If you are going to gift this, wrap it up. I threw out my packaging; there was no use in keeping it.
    • Minimal
Follow-up commentary
I threw this baby away! This was not even worth having around. This toy had weak vibrations but with ear ringing sound. This was not something I wanted to keep in my collection.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

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This review was edited by
  • Kindred Contributor: Kindred
  • Rank:
    6.7 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 1214
Comments
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  • Contributor: LaLaLouise
    I'm sorry you had a bad experience with this, but I love the hilarious stuff they printed on the package! Keep up the good work.
  • Contributor: Beck
    Thanks for reading and voting.
  • Contributor: Eva Schwaltz
    Thanks for the great review.
  • Contributor: Beck
    you are welcome
  • Contributor: Peggi
    Great review. I almost got this as a free gift, glad I didn't!

    HAHAHA I love the packaging stuff though! That's too bad it was so loud though. Hah, I can imagine someone in a roommate situation trying to use that toy! Not what you want in situations like that!
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