Penisticles
So recently my friend Kevin told me that lots of guys are shaving their balls because it makes their penis look bigger, which was totally news to me and something I think other girls should know about so I’m reprinting our conversation here:
Me: So guys are going around just shaving their balls to fool girls into thinking they have a huge penis?
Kevin: Pretty much.
Me: So…it’s like your balls have a tiny goatee?
Kevin: Uh…kind of. Or you just shave it all off and make it look like one giant penis.
Me: So if I shaved my coochie it would look like I had a giant vagina?
Kevin: Of course not. It doesn’t work like that.
Me: Well that seems like a double standard.
Kevin: Why would you even want a giant vagina?
Me: I wouldn’t. I just want to be able to have the choice.
Kevin: It’s just an optical illusion. Basically it makes your balls look like they’re part of your penis so it looks longer.
Me: But then you look like you have tiny balls.
Kevin: Yes, but girls don’t care about what your balls look like.
Me: That you know of. Maybe they do.
Kevin: Do they?
Me: Ew, God no! But still, it feels like cheating. I mean, she’s going to realize she’s been short-changed when you start having sex, right? Unless…you stuff your testicles in the vagina?
Kevin: What? You can’t stuff testicles into a vagina.
Me: Well you can if it’s a GIANT vagina.
Kevin: This is why people don’t talk to you.
Me: Whatever. At least I have an honest vagina.
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