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The Sexis Interview: Mistress Mine, Part Three—Nuts and Bolts, Whips and Chains

The Sexis Interview: Mistress Mine, Part Three—Nuts and Bolts, Whips and Chains
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This week, in the final installment, your editor gets a tour of the milieu of a professional domme: the playspace, the wardrobe, and the rigors of home economics.

  The PSI of a Stiletto Heel

What are some other things that you get requests for?

Lots of role-play, of course. My favorite is the school mistress disciplinarian. A client was very nice and gifted me with this fraternity paddle (shows me a wooden paddle with Greek letters carved in it). So, when you come here, to be disciplined by the schoolmarm, you really get disciplined by the schoolmarm. I have no idea what fraternity it’s from, but I’ve left that impression on many an ass. It’s like baseball. You kind of wind up with both hands and hit it out of the park.

What else?

Foot fetish is huge. Lots and lots of people are into foot fetish, which is wonderful, because I love it. I get a fair number of adult babies who like to dress up in diapers; humiliation, partial suspension, rope and chain bondage; sometimes hot wax play and electro play—and those are nice by way of a change.

Is there a sexual component for them, even though there’s no intercourse, per se, involved?

I’m sure there is. I’m a huge tease, a huge tease, and so I’ll lean over at the end of a session—if it’s a really good one and it turned me on—and sometimes you do get turned on by it. I know I do. What’s the point of doing something kinky if you’re not turned on by it? So, if I’ve hurt him really good—I tend to get turned on by the hurt—the more pain I can dish out, the more turned on I get. So, anyway… I will sometimes lean over them and whisper in their ear ever so gently, “As soon as you leave, I’m going to go masturbate, and I’ll let you enjoy that thought.” And then I show them the door. (laughs)

I’m sure at some point they pull over to the side of the road, to do whatever they want to do—although, hopefully they wait until they get home. I don’t want any of my clients getting arrested, thank you very much.

But yeah, there should be a bit of a sexual component. If you’re not getting turned on, it just hurts. If you’re not getting turned on, if it doesn’t please you in an erotic fashion, then you might as well just get beat up on the street and save your money. Obviously, there is a sexual aspect to it, but as far as overt sexuality, such as nudity, that’s not part of what I do.

But there is—if not genital to genital contact—some genital contact involved.

Well, you can’t do cock and ball torture without genital contact, but it’s not a handjob. I am not jerking the person off. It’s about applying erotic stimulation, yet more in terms of painful things than “pleasurable” things. I don’t do handjobs. I don’t do blowjobs. I don’t let clients perform sex acts on me.

That’s the one thing that will get you turned down when they apply to me. “I will be happy to worship your maidenhood,” or how did he put it? “I will be happy to worship the center of your goddessness orally for as long as you like.” (laughs) “The center of my goddessness?” Oh, you want to go down on me! It’s not allowed. That is sex, and unlike Bill Clinton…Well, we don’t do any Clinton things here.

Are there issues that you have to be concerned about to make sure what you’re doing won’t get you arrested?

Yes. I’ve looked into the laws, and actually, several years ago, there was a case here in Charlotte where a person that was advertising foot fetish in the local newspaper got arrested for prostitution. The police involved in her case were interviewed on television, and one of the reporters specifically asked him, “Is it illegal to have foot fetish or an S&M business?” The officer told him, “No, it’s not illegal to have an S & M or foot fetish business, it is illegal, however, to have people [pay you for] blowjobs and handjobs…or footjobs (laughs).

For me personally, lifestyle? And this is somebody I’m playing with for fun, for pleasure—not at all professionally—okay, it might be fun to do a little fluid exchange, but I’m not going to do fluid exchange with a someone I’ve only had a couple of e-mails and a phone call with. As far as letting them cum on my feet and lick it up, I have had that request, but no.

One of the Dommes I knew up in New York had a guy ask her to step on a live mouse (she refused).

I had a guy who wanted me to walk around in mashed potatoes. That was one of those, “Your kink is okay, my kink is okay, but your kink is not my kink.” It seems very benign. It wasn’t that the thought of what he was doing was gross—it was just the thought of mashed potatoes oozing between my toes. Ew! At the same time, I know people who like having pudding and chocolate and other things licked off their feet. Had I known another mistress in town who offered that professionally, I would have gladly referred him.

Do you have a particular philosophy about what you do and how you do it?

I used to call myself Wiccan, but I’m not really a witch, per se, so I just say I’m pagan. I revere nature. One of the precepts of my personal religion is “As it shall harm none.” That pretty much governs my life. I try to live my life and enjoy it; do it as hard and as long as I can, and harm as few people as possible along the way. That’s kind of what I do with kink. Notice I said, “harm.”

There’s a huge distinction between “hurt” and “harm.”

Exactly. I would personally never want someone to come to permanent injury. Like I had a fellow who e-mailed me who was into extreme foot play. He wanted me to stomp on his chest in stiletto heels.

Aren’t there something like 250 pounds of pressure at the point of a stiletto heel?

Exactly. I told him, “I’m not going to puncture a lung for you.” I could not risk that for myself, even if I wanted to do it. I met a person who’d had his ribs broken in a session and he was in triple digits of heaven about how he had “served” the mistress. But I was thinking, I can’t play with someone like this.

It’s not that I can’t play intensely. I love to play intensely. The more pain you can take, the hotter it is, but I draw the line at harm. At the end of a session, particularly a really intense one, where there’s been a lot of pain, and he’s suffered beautifully for me—I love it when they suffer beautifully. I have one client who has the most beautiful, clear blue eyes, and whenever you hurt him, he sort of tears up—he’s a man, he won’t cry. I hate that. I wish they would cry more. Anyway, his eyes are so clear, and they well up just a tiny bit when you really hurt him. It’s so hot. He suffers so beautifully….

So that’s my philosophy. As long as at the end of the day, we can hug each other—and I hug everybody when they leave here. That’s the type of person I am. I cannot do that “goddess” kind of thing—I mean I can, I can fake it, and in a role-play, it’s fine, but at the end of a session, I don’t want to be like, “Get out! You bore me, slave.” I’m not like that.

What do you want clients to get out of your sessions?

I want them to have a wonderful time. I want them be able to relax, because that is really one of the reasons why we do this. At the end of a good session, it feels like you’ve just had the best massage in the world—for them and for me. I get kind of blissed out. I get that natural endorphin rush that goes off in your head that just takes you almost to a spiritual place….

I do find that more in the lifestyle than in my professional work. Professional is professional. “I want to come to you, and I want to experience this, this and this.” Lifestyle people go more for, “Whatever you want, Mistress. Just make it something special.” In a lot of ways, I think that limits professionals and clients. Once in while I’ll have that very special, very unusual professional time where someone will come to me and say, “I’ve had some experience, so let’s just do it and see where you can take me.” Obviously for the most part, he doesn’t give you a script. He doesn’t say, “I want to be bound and spanked and have my nipples tortured,” or something like that. He just lets me do what I want, and I love having the freedom to do that. But I really just want clients to leave here happy.

Are there things that you would do professionally that you won’t do personally, and vice-versa?

Everything I do professionally, I do lifestyle. I don’t have sex with clients. I don’t even go topless for clients. I know some Dommes do, and that’s their own business. I would never say that it’s wrong; it’s just not me personally. [My clients] come to me for domination services. I don’t want somebody who is looking for a sex kitten. I am a real woman. I have a few extra pounds—although I’m height/weight proportional. I am not offering sexual services. I am offering the services of a dominatrix—somebody who is experienced and knowledgeable, who can do these things safely—for someone who would not otherwise have access to that in their lives.

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BDSM—kink—fetish: what are they? How does one do it? And, most importantly, who’s doing it? The answer might just be staring back at you in the mirror.

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