Worst Nite (Warmer) Ever!!

As a person who is trying to get a feel for the right toys for them, I got this toy as a mini experiment. It was going to be my biggest toy in girth yet, and I wanted to see how I would do. I already knew I liked silicone material, and the Nite Warmer was made of that, so I took a chance.

And it failed. Miserably.

The Nite Warmer - traditional vibrator by NMC Ltd. is a toy that is made for insertion in women. It is not recommended for anal use, sorry. Why? Because there is no base. So it is safest to keep it away from the bum. In a less traditional use, I guess it could stimulate other body parts like the clit or the nipples. Although it would be a little odd since it is clearly a penis-looking toy. This toy can be used for solo use, or your partner could use it on you.

This toy is more for advanced users due to the large size and the crude shape. It is a little scary for the newbies I would say. It frightened me and I am in-between new and advanced reviewer.

Material: Silicone
Silicone has a safety rating of 10/10 - hey that's great! It is a semi-organic polymer, man-made material known for wide-ranging stability and water repellence. Silicone has a tight molecular structure and retains heat. Silicone also repels dirt and bacteria and doesn't fall apart with extended friction. Silicone is smooth and not porous.

But is it really silicone? I have my doubts.

Honestly, I am not exactly sure if this is really silicone. First, I have never seen a silicone like this. This supposedly 'silicone' is way more sticky and tacky than what I am used to. Silicone is suppose to be smooth! I have also never had silicone that moves like this. This toy bends like crazy - none of my other silicone toys do that! And it feels kind of pourous. Now, I am no expert on materials, but it seems like a mixture of a silicone. Maybe even closer to the feel of jelly. Yes, I said it, JELLY!

DRAG DRAG DRAG!

This toy was not smooth in the slightest! If you rub it on your skin it will stick like glue! It is so sticky that I took it out of the box and almost immediately it accumulated all the dog hairs in the room. I am terribly disappointed in this material.

To top it off, this toy smelled horrible! Like a brand new plastic, rubber, unnatural substance. Although it was a strong scent, I could only smell it when my nose was an inch away or closer. It is not like the toy smelled up the entire house. Is that a plus?

Look how squishy the material is:

Actually, to put it bluntly, this toy is just plain creepy looking. It reminds me of the Devil's penis. There are two colors to this toy - pink and white/greyish/clear. I don't like the two-tone coloration. I prefer a solid color.

More than the color, the toy has a penis looking head, shape and size. There are veins throughout the toy to mimic the real thing. Although these veins are more plentiful, thicker and look more like a rib cage.

The toy begins at the head, it's smallest part, then the shaft, then a HUGE scrotum base. I mean HUGE. The base is very large compared to the shaft. I couldn't even wrap my thumb and pointer finger all the way around it. Yikes. It hurt when it was pushed in past the shaft. Speaking of the scrotum base portion, I have to mention that there are little flaming fire looking textures on it. It is very odd. Almost as odd as the rib cage vein design on the shaft. Lastly, the bottom screw cap is black and silver and is an easy push button style (the only normal looking thing on the toy).

The sizes I measured:
Insertable Length: 6 1/2"
Total Length: 7 1/2"
Circumference Base/Scrotum: 6 1/2"
Circumference Shaft: 5"
Bottom/Controller: 1 1/2"

As you can see from the measurements, this toy is big. While it is an average length, it is a large width/circumference. The shaft and the scrotum are above average, they are girthy! Due to the size, it is not the best for travel or for beginners. It is not discreet in the least - unless you think a flaming pink penis is passable for something else...?

The Size Compared to Objects: (A battery and MiMi)

There are two buttons on the bottom of the toy that operate the toy functions. One button turns it on/off and the other button rotates through the functions. The buttons are easy to push, and could accidentally get pushed. The toy is relatively strong but buzzy. The vibrations are felt throughout the toy, but mainly in the middle where the motor is located. The least amount of vibration is felt in the head.

Here are the settings:
1. Strong Vibration
2. Medium Vibration
3. Low Vibration
4. Accelerating pulses, repeat
5. Fast pulses
6. Very fast, Loud pulses
7. Medium Pulses
8. More rumble pulses
9. Long pulses
10. Little rumbles

This toy is waterproof. I have tested it in the shower and had no problems. The bottom feels secure enough that it will keep out water, plus there is a rubber ring.

I was not excited about any of the settings honestly. I was too distracted with the girth and the horrid texture to pay attention. If anything the settings were kind of numbing.

Here is the button bottom:

Silicone can be fully disinfected by boiling it for 3 minutes or by throwing it into the top rack of your dishwasher. With silicone toys you want to be careful to only used water based lubricants.

So silicone is supposed to be easy to clean... BUT...

Truth be told, this toy is impossible to keep clean. The texture allows sneaky places for bacteria to hide. There are too many crevices and cavities in this toy. Not to mention it is a magnet for people, cat and dog hair. As soon as I am done washing it, this toy has new hairs on it again. From out of nowhere. And I swear, I am a pretty tidy person. I don't just have animals living in my sex toy box. Therefore, I am afriad of using this toy internally now, I am afraid if I put it up there I am going to pee out hair balls for the next 2 days. Now that is one nasty image in your head. Sorry.

The packaging is fairly minimal. The main box is a foldable, flaps on ends, tube packaging. It is simple and good for re-storage. The toy is wrapped in a plastic bag inside the toy tube. Then the toy is wrapped in a sealed plastic - kind of like saran wrap. There is a lot of layers!

Despite there being 3 layers before you get to the toy, all of these layers are see-through so this so is not discreet. It is obvious what it is - a big pink Devil's penis toy. Unfortunately, due to the packaging, this might not make the best gift. It is also difficult to wrap because of the shape.

Made in China.

The Packaging Images:

So I am not sure how many toys I am allowed to test out before I cannot claim that I am still a beginner. But I am. I am constantly learning about the shape, size, texture and more that I prefer. There is a lot to learn. So what did I learn from testing out this toy?

I learned this toy was just too big. No matter how much lube I slabbed on, I couldn't move it around inside of me comfortably. Maybe that is because it is a little too flexible too? I am not totally sure. Still trying to figure the flexible/non flexible thing out. But I do think it was too big, you should never feel more stiff AFTER using a toy, right?

What else? I learned that silicone is not all the same. This silicone was sticky, kind of gooey and collected a lot of dust and hair. It was very different than the other silicone toys I have. This type of silicone I didn't like one bit. Too tacky.

And the texture. The texture was not pleasant. It was too much. The freakish veins were very thick and noticeable. They stood in the way of a smooth thrust and easy movements.

Overall, this toy is going on my avoid list. I might pick it up in say, 3 months for the follow up review and see if I have changed my mind about anything. Maybe then I will have a bit more experience and change of heart?