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Animal Attractions: A Trip to a Human Petting Zoo

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All the pick-up guides I read (and I read a lot) focus on small talk. What to say, how to say it, how much to say, how little to reveal. But sometimes it’s easier to say nothing at all. Sometimes the best way to meet people is to leave language aside and just bark, mew, whimper, or pant. *Sniff, sniff*

  A Frisky Feline

I play as a kitty. At our most recent event, I wore a leopard-print bra and thong, with a tail, kitty-ear headband, and pink collar. (I may be an animal, but I still want to look cute.) When the people and animals begin to arrive, it’s time to get down on all fours and stop talking. From here on out, I’m an animal.

I slink over to a cute kitty sporting a corset and panties, with a tail clipped to her waistband. She's eying me with big, brown, kitten eyes. I mew at her. She looks away. I rub against her shoulder, so soft and smooth. She doesn't look at me, but leans in and rubs back.

Does this mean she likes me? Does she want more? It can be confusing being a little kitty.

We rub cheeks and lick each other. We are both purring and I’m getting very excited. Then she hisses at me. Have I gone too far? Should I pull back or try again? I try not to overthink when I'm a kitty—animals don't spend a lot of time reflecting—but here I am, licking a stranger. It’s hard to know what’s acceptable.

She purrs and licks ... then hisses again. This purring and hissing continues for quite some time. I'm both excited and annoyed. After a while she turns and presents her rump. I rub my face on her upper thighs and lean in to sniff the scent between her legs. Am I leaving my humanity behind? I lean in for another sniff because damn, she smells good.

I mount her and start humping my hard cock on her thigh. I look up. Several people are watching us. "Oh, such naughty kitties," one observes. Another makes a comment about cats in heat. I continue to hump, leaning down to bite her neck. She pulls away and hisses. I guess it’s time to move on. (Later, I ask her about her contradictory behavior. "That's how my cat used to act when I'd pet him," she explained. "I figured that's how all cats act." Great, I had to meet someone playing Psycho Kitty.)

  Predator on the Prowl

Many of the animals are trying to be cute and adorable, and then there's the jaguar. The jaguar identifies as female when she is human, but male during animal play. As a jaguar, he is very dominant and wears a giant strap-on cock.

Being a curious kitty I wander over to meet him. His handler—not owner; no one owns this creature—warns that the jaguar bites and not to get too close. But kitties can't resist something new. I put a paw into his cage and he immediately clamps his jaws down on my arm.

Well, I can't say I wasn't warned. His handler smiles sadistically and says, "If you're lucky, he won't draw blood."

Yikes! I want to tell him to let go, but I'm a kitty and he's a jaguar. I don't think my debating skills will work here. Instead, I hiss, I mew, I purr. I pull away quickly. I pull away slowly. I try anything a real cat might try. The jaguar keeps holding on, fixing me with an evil grin, but eventually, he releases my arm and I run off. At least I don't need to explain why I'm leaving, or discuss what happened. I’m just glad to still have all four paws. Maybe cats really do have nine lives.

  The Big K-9

A huge dog almost knocks me over. He's barking, he's smiling, he's sniffing. A Rottweiler, easily twice my size, he's naked except for a black leather collar. There is no leash, he has no handler—and he wants to get to know me.

I hiss, hoping he'll take the hint. His tongue lolls out of his mouth and he leans in to sniff me again. I see his cock laying in a nest of pubic hair. Is he thinking of using that on me?!? He barks and moves to knock me over. I turn and scamper, hoping he doesn't follow. I hear people laughing.

I look up and spy a cute girl. I'd noticed her earlier, when I was human, but was too shy to approach. Now, I walk up and rub against her legs. No reaction. I turn and rub again. She leans down and pets me, cooing about what a pretty kitty I am. God, I wish I could be an animal all the time...

  Puppy Love

The sun is getting to me, the people, the food. Everyone who approaches gives me a little treat. (Now I know why housepets are overweight.) Many also reach down to pet me, which can be amazing, but also overwhelming. I find a spot to hide and see Daisy running after a ball.

Daisy is a puppy. I later learn that her owner is still training her. She doesn't know many tricks because she's too young. So she'll bring a ball back a few times and then run after something shiny. Or forget what she was doing.

I wander over to meet her. She barks at me. She wants to chase me. I don't wait to find out what else she wants. These doggies are trouble. Besides, I haven't humped anyone in minutes. Or is it hours? It's hard to tell how much time has passed.

  Satisfaction Brought them Back

In a large pen are two female kitties garbed in panties, bras, ears, and tails. They sniff one another, then begin to kiss. One of the kitties knocks the other over and mounts her. They are kissing and pawing with abandon. Quite an audience has gathered, but the kitties only have eyes for each other. They continue kissing and pawing until the end of the event, when they stand up and exchange names.

My little kitty brain can hardly take it in: Here are two women who just spent almost an hour playing and didn’t even know each other's names. It's so delicious and perverse.

It’s time to pick up the the fences, but I'm exhausted. Someone gives me a bottle of water and I guzzle it. Several people who were formerly creatures stop by to chat. Some I barely recognize, they are so different in their human personae. I smile and kiss their cheeks, and head off for a long nap—much longer than a cat nap. Animal play is hard work.


Fantastic description, Citi Kitti! Thank you for writing about this very interesting topic.


That's amazing. Smile We were planning on hosting a kitty night in conjunction with our regular D/s play, but a petting zoo? That'd be amazing. I'm sorry about Psycho Kitty, though. Sad face


Fascinating. Thanks for sharing!!


Wow this sounds like a lot of fun! I have read about pony play and puppy play from a third person, informative point of view, but this is the first time I have ever seen it described by someone who was actually in the animal role. I think I would enjoy this a lot


BDSM—kink—fetish: what are they? How does one do it? And, most importantly, who’s doing it? The answer might just be staring back at you in the mirror.

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