How To Choose The Best BDSM Toys And Get Your Kink On

Sensory deprivation - or sensory play - is a spectrum of anything between heavy-duty leather bondage and an innocent - and a dang sexy - blindfold. The best beginner's choice!

Eliminating one of the senses makes the others more acute. That means the teasing touches, the breaths, the sounds – they all become 100% more arousing. A sultry satin blindfold might not be a classic BDSM toy, but it sure can put you in the mood before you put it on. So close your eyes, open your lips and let out the loudest moan you can muster.

Want a taste of real BDSM? Well, it’s not just about smacking the booty - it’s a power exchange. Taking on the role of a Dom or a Sub can feel too serious for a beginner. But, fooling around with power dynamics can be just the place to start (and it’s oh-so-arousing).

Try collars. Playing out a scene where one partner is clearly in control is one of the hottest fantasies. The lord and the maid, the teacher and the student - these are all undying classics. The fabled master/slave relationship is iconic for kink, and there is no better toy to complement this fantasy than a slim little collar with a leash. Hold them close and give them treats - that is, if they behave.

Give ball gag a go. Even if drooling isn’t your thing, a ball gag can be your trusty beginner power play toy. Wearing a ball gag cuts off your ability to communicate your likes and dislikes in a classic BDSM manner - with a safe word. That opens the door to a whole new world of exploration with nothing but body language. It’s insanely sexy, makes you more in tune with your body, and above all, adds to a super-steamy hostage fantasy. Legs in the air where I can see ‘em!

If we’re talking classics, bondage is the first BDSM practice that comes to mind. From knotting and teasing to clicking and clamping - there’s a lot of bondage variation to choose from. There are many reasons to tie someone up or get tied up - to secure a position, to set up the power play, to perform some sexy acts without the Bottom dodging away. Pick your fav and go get knotty.

Pick sex furniture. Striking new (sex) pose might be exciting at first - but some positions are hard to hold! Sex furniture or position support spreaders aren’t necessarily the norm in bondage, but they certainly come in handy. Keeping those legs spread for hyperstimulation - there’s a bar for that. Elevating the booty for deeper penetration - no need to billow, there’s a pillow. Doing it on the door, a swing, or the ceiling - there are plenty of tools to help. Check out our sex furniture guide for all possible angles.

Go heavy duty. Kink ain’t all leather and chains. There’s also the heavy duty stuff, and that’s all about the setup. We may not be talking full-on "dungeon" experience, but it's more sensual and raunchy than your velcro toys. The buckles of leather bondage are harder to break out of, which contributes a lot to the fantasy. You can start with handcuffs and then move on to thigh cuffs, ankle cuffs, neck restraints, and bars - all kinds of combinations are possible. The feeling of leather screeching against your skin, the chill of chains, and the clicking of buckles - it's no game anymore.

Try full-body bondage. Let’s get this out of the way - full-body bondage is not scary. With a usual set of upper and lower body cuffs, full-body bondage pins the Bottom securely to the bed (or to a door, sofa, radiator - whatevs), leaving them super exposed for whatever the Top has in mind. The range of games begins at teasing with a feather tickler and goes as far as using wax, ice, or fire play - depending on your level of kink. Most importantly, full-body bondage is about trust and control - the Top has to take responsibility for the Bottom, while the Bottom can give in to the joys of pain, pleasure, and immobility.

Did you know that some people can orgasm only with nipple stimulation? Yeah, those lucky bastards. Even though nipple stimulation may not be all it takes for the rest of us, we can still take part in the fun. Tugging, pinching, squeezing, and weighing the nip down - that’s the stuff of hardcore fantasies. Check out our nip guide to get more meTITculous.

Pick small teasers. If you want to keep your nipple play discreet yet still agonizingly pleasurable, tweezers under clothes are your #1 shot. This kind of nip-adventure can go on for hours - you can even go to work wearing a pair of those seductive biters. The pinch they provide is not extremely painful but definitely won’t let you forget they’re there. Coming home after a long day of such a languor would be a BDSM delight in itself - add to that the idea of being super naughty and voila! - you’re nip deep in pleasure.

Give chained clamps a go. On the darker side of the BDSM sex toys spectrum, there are chained clamps. Their bite is much heavier - even painful - so forgo the undercover office mission with those. You can't wear chained clamps for a long time (15 mins tops), but the pressure they apply is enough to make you moan. The cool bite of metal will keep the nips super erect, and the cool chill will run through your tummy when the chain dangles against it. The most delightfully naughty thing to do with the chained nip clamps – aside from tightening them up, of course – is tugging the chain, multiplying the stimulation and getting out that first moan.

Brace yourself – we're entering a realm of BDSM sex toys and practices that ain’t for everyone. Electro stimulation is a big topic (BTW, to learn more on it, hop over to our extensive E-stim guide, but orgasm control is even bigger. Deciding when your partner will be allowed to cum is intoxicating.

Play controlled Os with E-stim. E-stim toys can’t be beat when it comes to controlling arousal. The tingling electric impulses lure the erotic energy, but without the big charge, the energy keeps accumulating, boiling inside your body. On top of that, any e-stim sex toy only works with remote control, so it's easy for someone else to step into the driver’s seat. One partner takes the remote, deciding on the level of intensity, while the other is left to beg for mercy.

When you're using simple pads, the intensity will be mild and will grow depending on the materials and the type of E-stim toy you choose. Insertable metal ones are usually the most electrifying – they turbo charge your controlled Os.

Finally, the coolest BDSM act that everyone – even the sweetest vanillas – can’t deny. Sex spanking can be based in a scenario or totally improvised, be done by hand or with BDSM toys, or be performed as a reward or punishment. Regardless, one thing remains the same – it all feels great. So swiggity-swooty, spank the booty.

Try paddling lightly. An elegant leather paddle can do some serious smacking, but since the area of the spank is big, the pain is not overwhelming. A paddle is a great warm-up spanking toy – leather or silicone work best. A wooden paddle is great for roleplay but not as an entry. Choose paddles with fun textures and shapes. These features not only affect the intensity of the spank, but also leave fun marks on a lovely butt.

Pick up a flogger. A flogger can take it from teasing to ravaging real quick – and the intensity’s all in the swing. Soft fabric or leather floggers сan be applied to any body part, including the legs, breasts, or stomach. A flogger has the appeal of a classic BDSM sex toy, very raunchy and stylish, basically creating the scene on its own.

Toughen it up with a riding crop. When picking up a crop to spank, you’ve got to know the ropes. Since the area of the spank is so small, it really feels like a sting, and with excessive strength, it can leave a mark. BTW, another thing with crops is the aim – place your spanks thoroughly to avoid unwanted hurt. To know exactly where to aim, check out our spanking guide. A riding crop is very iconic for a Dom look, which offers you a whole pool of seductive scenarios to play out.

Sure, aftercare is not a fetish, but it should always have a part in your play. Follow up any intense kinky play with cuddles, caresses, loving words and the feeling of all-consuming love. Without the "closure" and slow extraction of both the Bottom and the Top from the game, your session could turn into plain violence, which is not fun at all (looking at you, Fifty Shades).

Give a sensual massage. If your BDSM game included any kind of painful impact – spanking, hard restraining – lightly and gently massaging the sore areas is the least a Top can do. Kissing away the pain is an option, too, but a massage gives a freshly spanked ass the soothing it needs. Also, if the Bottom spent some time in full-body bondage, totally immobilized, their limbs may be sore. What we're saying is yeah, add some sensual massage oils, preferably with sweet, calming flavors.

Now that you know all the basics, it's time to put your knowledge to the test. Fetish is most fun when explored together - after all, it’s quite difficult to flog yourself if you know what I mean. Although getting into fetish toys doesn’t mean you’re into BDSM now, you’ll want to mind some rules – the first of which is to communicate. Yes, it's that simple - to really enjoy a BDSM sex toy together, you have to talk about it.

Make sure everyone’s consenting. If one partner pitched the idea and the other shrugs and plays along, that’s not going to work for anyone. All the boundaries and the conditions of play should be discussed before you step into the bedroom. You have to be really open and honest about your likes and dislikes, because "tolerating" anything in a BDSM scene ruins it and undermines your intimacy and trust. To learn more about how to talk to your SO about your kinky scene, check out our SSC guide.

Compromise! For example, if one of you wants a super intense scene with full-body bondage, hot wax play, tit slapping, and ball torture, maybe begin with heavy duty wrist-to-thighs cuffs and a paddle.

Oh, and most of all, don't forget to enjoy the hell out of all of it.