Take My Wife, Please

The Official WifeSwap Parody satirizes the popular Wife Swap television show by combining some over-the-top personalities and adding in a lot of sex. While it certainly has funny lines and hot moments, overall the plot feels repetitive as the attractive stars transition out of their character stereotypes and into porn star stereotypes.
Long sex scenes, some entertaining characters, funny, some hot stars
Repetitive sex positions, mediocre cumshots, some bad acting lots of stereotypes, fake boobs
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review

The Official Wife Swap Parody is a humorous porn flick by Mike Quasar. In the film, six couples participate in wife swaps that predictably lead to sexy encounters. Each sex scene is preceded by getting-to-know-you interactions that are sometimes humorous and sometimes awkward.

At the beginning of the film is a three minute introduction. You see clips from the couples' interviews, initial interactions between the swapped partners, and some sex sneak peeks. While it's certainly interesting, I would have rather just started with the interviews in full. For each of the three sets of couples, you see their interviews spliced together followed by their initial interactions spliced together. After that, you see one long sex scene for one couple followed by the sex scene for the other, without breaks or jumping back and forth. If you're just looking to get off, we felt like the sex scenes were all long enough for a good masturbation session.

Now that we've covered the general format of the film, let's move onto the actual characters. The first people you meet are Jack and Diane Hughes played by Mark Wood and Bobbi Star. They are paired up with James and Latasha Jones, played by Prince Yahshua and Nyomi Banxxx. Jack is a wannabe rapper and Diane has an acute interest in African-American culture, or so it seems. Neither Jack nor Diane are that believable in their roles, and Diane actually just wants “to be dominated by big, strong, powerful gangster.” At least Jack is doing something he enjoys, even though his alter-ego Fro-Yo (Frozen Yogurt) isn't good at rapping. Diane is mostly offensive, but at least her racist lines aren't that convincing. We didn't think Prince Yahshua gave a strong acting performance, either. He's supposedly studying to be a lawyer, but there wasn't much substance in his acting scenes. Nyomi Banxxx was definitely the most believable of the four folks in the first swap, and she's pretty hot, too. However, there wasn't much to her character; she's mostly just upset with James for not contributing to their life financially and for not giving her oral pleasure. We thought this swap was the weakest overall of the three.

The second swap really upped the humor factor. Enter the Spallones. Rob and Marie Spallone are married, and Rob's son Joey lives with them. They are set up with Richard and Barbara Frampton, played by Anthony Rosano and Julie Ann. Rob and Marie (played by Rob Spallone and Sara Sloane) are quite argumentative and obviously displeased with their relationship. They also yell at Joey (James Deen) when he chastises them during the interview. Rob ends up going out of town for the swap weekend, so Joey fills in for him, much to my enjoyment. Richard is an uptight lawyer and Barbara comes off like a ditz. All of the folks in this swap are at least mildly believable, and some are even funny. Both my boy and I really loved Sara Sloane's character. She's fiery, confident, and hilarious. She's a nice contrast to the professional demeanor of Anthony Rosano's character. James Deen's character didn't have many lines, but he still came across as a seductive younger male for a nice cougar/cub matchup with Julie Ann.

The final scene was almost as funny as the second one, and it was somewhat hotter. Steve and Edie Whitaker, played by Dane Cross and Kagney Linn Karter, are simple folks from Nebraska who enjoy tractor parades. They're paired up with the very passionate, sensual Banderas couple. Enrique and Gloria Banderas, played by Marco Banderas and Rebeca Linares, say they cook naked together and “eat life like an enchilada.” Steve and Edie are both surprised by the fiery passion they encounter when they swap with Enrique and Gloria. Steve gets dominated by Gloria, while Enrique woos Edie with his charisma and skills in the kitchen, on the dancefloor, and of course, in the bedroom. Rebeca Linares is incredibly beautiful and sexy, and was easily our favorite person to watch in the whole porn. Sadly, Steve and Edie's innocent images are somewhat damaged by their respective gauged ears and labia piercing. Marco Banderas glances at the camera way too much for our tastes. Overall, though, these pairings work pretty well.

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I'm addressing the sex scenes in general because they were all pretty vanilla and didn't seem that different from one pairing to the next. Everyone gets at least a bit of oral pleasure, but for the most part it's just PIV sex. Dane Cross and Rebeca Linares have some good eye contact, and Rebeca seems to enjoy herself pretty much the whole time. In contrast, Bobbi Starr, Sara Sloane, and Kagney Linn Carter all made me wonder throughout their scenes whether they were in pain, which was a big turn off. Both my boy and I were disappointed that the transitions from conversation to sex were so abrupt. We felt like a switch was flipped in each scene, and the actors went from interacting like new lovers to fucking like professionals. Also, the cumshots weren't impressive, which makes the Popshots menu option a waste. While the sex wasn't terrible, it wasn't excellent, either.

We didn't appreciate the cultural/racial stereotypes presented in the film. We enjoyed the real personality traits seen in the characters much more than their cultural stereotypes that were supposed to be funny. People can be uptight, awkward, argumentative, fiery, or innocent, and those traits can stand alone in a character and still be believable.

The DVD Extras weren't great. There's a gallery of pictures of the actresses and still frames from their sex scenes. Several trailers for other Zero Tolerance films are available. The Popshots, as mentioned earlier, weren't impressive. Finally, the Behind the Scenes footage was eleven minutes of the stars eating, talking about themselves, and receiving direction for their scenes.

While The Official Wife Swap Parody suffers from repetitive sex, possibly painful moans, and cultural stereotypes, our overall impression of the film was positive. It's amusing, sometimes funny, and decently hot. It was a fun film for us to watch together, but also enjoyable solo. I'm not sure if I'd seek out parody porn movies in the future, but I'm glad I got to experience the genre through this film.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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  • Contributor: Minxy
    You are great with DVD reviews and always have been. Thanks.
  • Contributor: Rockin'
    Aww, thanks so much, Minxy! I am so glad you enjoy them ^_^
  • Contributor: Sammi
    We have good taste in titles
    Great review!
  • Contributor: Victoria
    Great review, as always!
  • Contributor: Rockin'
    @Sammi - Hehe yes we do

    @Victoria - Thank you so much!
  • Contributor: mysecretcollection
    I totally want to watch this now! My husband and I always joke about how we should go on that show and then tell the spouse that we get a lot of freaky sex, and make it a rule.

    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: Serendipity
    Fantastic review! I didn't like the cultural/racist stereotyping either.
  • Contributor: Mihoshi4301
    Thanks for the review.
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