Twisted hearts seduction - massager by Doc Johnson - review by MidnightStorm

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The perfect "twist!"

Overall, I love this toy, but if you're looking for a toy for mindless drilling and insertion, this is not the toy for you. However, if you're looking for a fun, silent toy to use in the bathroom or shower, or a cute toy to put in and forget about, then the Twisted Hearts Seduction vibrator is your girl!
- Stays put when inserted
- Very "filling"
- Waterproof & Easy to Clean
- Cute!
- Nubs can be uncomfortable
- Lack of flexibility
- Deep, mediocre vibrations
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review
Let me start by saying right now that this poor little girl has gotten too much bad rep for how wonderful she truly is! After reading the reviews and comments for this toy, I was more than a little apprehensive. I'm a size queen and I love powerful vibrations, but this toy looked tiny, weak, and somewhat uncomfortable. Nonetheless, she was free and I was going to give her a fighting chance, if nothing else! And--spoiler alert!--I am very glad I did!

When I received this toy in the mail today, I was still a bit leery of it, and much to my dismay, the packaging didn't do much to reassure me. While the design on the box was somewhat cute, the box itself looked just a little smudged and dirty. It wasn't dramatic, but it was noticeable in the bright light from my room, and it immediately put me off from the toy. Upon removing the toy, which is packaged in only a plastic holder and was somewhat reluctant to leave its casing, I was yet again disappointed. The toy itself certainly doesn't look very large, especially for a size queen like me. Beyond this, I found that it didn't have the bright, feminine appeal that the photos on the website show it in. Instead, the purple looked someone faded, and the "white" portions of the toy looked slightly yellowed. The overall effect was that the toy looks like something hidden away from the 80s, rather than the brand new product that it is.

Discouraged, but not hopeless, I began to truly examine my new “friend.” As the box happily proclaims in five languages along its side, it is made of ABS plastic and TPR Non-toxic rubber. It is, of course, phthalate free. Because TPR is somewhat porous, however, sharing this toy without a condom is not recommended. It cannot be sanitized by boiling, though I'm not sure boiling something with electric parts is a great idea anyways. And, of course, it can be cleaned quite simply with warm soap and water or toy cleaner. The fact that it's water proof makes this all the easier, since you can quite simply take it into the shower and soap it down right along with yourself!

Despite my disappointment with the toy, I was still excited to try it. Never having had a waterproof toy before, the first place I aimed for was the shower, and then back to the bedroom! Twisted Hearts performed valiantly in both instances, quickly making herself a toy vital to my collection.

It's at this point that I want to talk a little more about the design of the toy itself--and explain why she's not going to work for so many people, but why she works perfectly for me.

I can summarize by saying, quite simply, this toy was made to go in and stay in. The nubs hold her firmly in place once inserted, preventing her from moving in or out without a bit of prompting. The "pull" of the rubber adds even more to this. The vibrations are deep and rumbling: not at all sharp, but very, very pleasurable. All and all, this toy is the perfect “vaginal plug”... And that's exactly why I love her. There are times when you just want to put a toy inside and focus on other areas and the Twisted Hearts vibrator is seemingly made just for that purpose.

That single feature (the ability to insert and forget) completely redeems this toy in my mind. She's exactly what I was looking for and fills a hole in my toy collection that I previously had no idea how to go about filling. BUT—there's always a but—with that knowledge, she's not going to be the toy for everyone. For one, she is somewhat girthy and does leave you feeling very full. If you're not used to taking larger toys, the rubber will make it very hard and uncomfortable to get her in without gratuitous lube. For two, that little nub can be very difficult to insert if you're tight. It will catch on your pubic bone and it will cause some discomfort going in the first few times. It's not a comfortable thing when moving, that much I can assure you, so this is not a toy I would recommend using for just plain old screwing. Beyond that, even when using her purely as a sort of “vaginal plug,” the rubber does provide a small pull around your lips. It is a very slight discomfort/pain and although it really didn't bother me (in fact, I'm something of a fan of pain, so I actually enjoyed it while I was noticing it), I can see how many women would not like it.
I took my Twisted Hearts with me into the shower almost immediately after opening her. I was thrilled to have a waterproof vibe, and to exercise my new found dominance over water, I gleefully tossed her into the shower with the water on before I was even naked enough to join. I spent almost no time warming up, and instead decided that I would let her do all the work for me--a real test.

What I found was that her vibrations were surprisingly strong. So strong, in fact, that I came just from teasing my clit with her after a few minutes. While they're not sharp, as long as you're sensitive, they get the job done.

Insertion was a little trickier. The nub along her shaft just did NOT want to go in. It wasn't until I spun the toy around and it "accidentally" popped in that I gathered the courage to turn it around and insert it the proper way; facing my g-spot. Because I was sitting, not laying, the nub did catch on my pubic bone a bit, and was not the most comfortable sensation I have ever felt. It was not, however, the worst. After teasing myself with her inside a bit more, I stood and opting to see how it felt just 'leaving' her in for the remainder of my shower. The answer, sadly, was not that great. I found that I was afraid to push the toy in too far as I didn't want the entire thing to go in, so the bulge of the handle between my thighs just felt somewhat awkward. Already pleased and excited to try her out in bed, I slipped her out, cleaned her up, and finished up my shower.

My bed was where I truly discovered my love for this toy. She had the pleasure of accompanying my first experience with the EF Dual Passion Bullets and I found them to be a very deadly trio! After a bit of familiarizing myself with the bullets, I slipped her back in and left her to fill me while I focused on my clit and other areas. This was the real test. I'm a pusher and a squeezer, so most toys go shooting out of me at some point or another. It's nearly impossible for me to leave something that vibrates inside of me, beyond a small bullet. This girl, however, stayed put like a champion. I checked her numerous times and never once did she budge. Curious to see just how well she'd stay, I did everything I could to give myself a mind-blowing orgasm and still she remained, amid all the twitched and thrusting I threw at her! When all was said and done, she slid out beautifully and without an ounce of discomfort, happy to rest at my bedside as the newest addition to my toy collection.
Follow-up commentary
I tried hard to find the great points of this toy, and while it was fun for a few uses, it really never ended up being that great. Since I never ended up using it too much and it was free, it ended up in the trash to save on space in my ever-growing collection. Oh well!
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My Twisted hearts seduction tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Masturbation
    • Solo
    • Teasing
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bath / shower
    • Bedroom / on a bed
    • Campus/roommate living
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
    • Clitoris
    • G-spot
This review was edited by
  • js250 js250
  • Rank:
  • Edited reviews: 309
  • js250
    Amazing first review!! I love the flow and writing. Thank you for the new perspective on this toy.
  • Sunshineamine
    Thanks for the review. I never would have thought to use this toy as a sort of vaginal plug but I may have to try that. I have this and haven't used it yet so I may have to give it a try this way.
  • MidnightStorm
    Thank you so much, JS! Also, Sunshine, if you do try it I'd love to know if it works for you!
  • katluv
    I received this toy as a free gift with my order and loved your idea of using it as a vaginal plug. I did as you suggested along with some clitoral stimulation, and I found it to be quite pleasurable. Thanks for your helpful review!
  • butterflygirlxo
    Great Review. I just got this today
  • MidnightStorm
    Thanks so much! I'm glad I was able to help you out~
  • iLashe
    hawhaw haw thanks for teh review!! BDSM with water yah. blessed be.
  • lucky2010
    I got mine because it was free too. Hopefully you are right. Thank you.
  • TheSlyFox
    Thanks for the review. Mine wasn't any fun, either.
  • PolyLove
    Thank you for the review. I like your writing style.
  • LoveBug721
    Thanks for the review.
  • travelnurse
    Thanks for the info!
  • moongirl
    Good reveiwe!
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