Jellyfish - strap-on dildo discontinued by Whipspider rubberworks - review by Petite Valentine

Those three crazy kids up in Bangor, Maine are at it again... We have another water-themed piece of "insertable art" for helping ladies and gents drown in pleasure: the Jellyfish.

Measuring about 6¼" tall (5¾" insertable), with a head almost 2" in diameter, atop a 1½" wide shaft, this silicone replica of aquatic life weighs in at just under 8½ oz. (239g).



The Jellyfish starts out pink at the top, but like the Tentacle and Tentacle Jr., transitions along the shaft to a base of pearlescent blue color. It also has the nontoxic "pure glo pigment" which mimics real jellyfish's green fluorescent proteins. Let this toy soak up some rays — solar or artificial — and it'll light up just like the real thing.

Very thick, yet highly flexible, the Jellyfish is made from high-grade silicone and is nonporous, latex free, phthalate-free and hypoallergenic. The surface is the most textured of the current Whipspider Rubberworks line. It has a traditional phallic shape — head and shaft — however, the flare of the head is very pronounced with an etched design, and the manubrial stalk is covered in squiggles.



The Jellyfish can be handheld or mounted in an appropriately sized O-ring, provided the wearer can cope with the thickness of the base and isn't bothered by the spider logo rubbing against them. The flared bottom, which is etched to look like waves and bubbles in the water, makes the dildo safe for anal use. No matter where you put the Jellyfish, only a water-based lubricant should be used.

Cleaning the Jellyfish is a challenge. A three-minute boil is recommended for all situations, and because of the highly textured surface, I would go the extra mile and use a 1:10 solution of bleach and water to make sure any fluids caught in the crevices are eradicated. The enclosed information card has cleaning instructions in case you forget. The plastic shipping bag should be disposed of since it is unlikely to prevent sharp objects from puncturing or scoring the toy, and can aid bacteria growth if the toy is not completely dry when placed inside. Eden Toy Pouches are perfect for storage, if you can catch them in stock.

Whipspider calls the Jellyfish "penis-sized" which makes me wonder what kind of legendary male porn stars the sculptors are hanging out with. This may be the lightest of the their sea-themed offerings, however "short and stout" doesn't begin to describe the girth. I think d'un ocean à l'autre would be more apropos because this toy feels like it reaches from sea to sea.

Did you see my measurements above? Check them again, carefully. The Jellyfish may look like a classic phallus, but if someone were to ask which WR toy to start with, this would be the last on my recommendation list. It's more difficult to insert than either of the tentacles, and removal is as much fun as walking the plank. Also, this toy is greedy for lubrication because, 1) it's BIG, and 2) the 20,000 crevices along the shaft tend to thin out moisture, be it natural or applied.



If the tendrils consumption of lubrication doesn't annoy you, cleaning them will. The design leads to remnants from the casting process, and it goes without saying that fluid will work its way into every crack with every use. I'm fairly patient as I'm used to cleaning the suckers on the tentacles, but the Jellyfish design is beyond the pale. A three minute boil and scrub with a soft toothbrush are often not enough, and I end up going through the process twice.

But back to actual usage: hold on to the feeling of triumph once you get the Jellyfish into an orifice, because it's rough seas for the return trip. The silicone texture is pleasant inside, however when it's time to surface, the mushroom head acts like an anchor, getting caught at every bend and curve of anatomy. If you're lucky, it's jarring, if you're not, it's painful.

My collector gene likes having the Jellyfish in my Whipspider collection, however I'm not sure what I plan to do with it going forward. Unlike the tentacles which make for fun "art" to hide in plain sight, no one who spots the Jellyfish is going to wonder about its intended use. Right now it's my least favorite denizen of the deep.