Let me introduce you to someone a little special. His name is Randy, and although he looks a tad stout and intimidating, he's really remarkably gentle and powerfully effective.

The Randy is one of the newest shapes to be “Vixskin-ified” by the good folks at Vixskin. Believe it or not, Randy has been out there in a silicone form (and actually a variety of names from a variety of different companies) for something like a decade, and has quite the underground cult following. In one of my earliest sex toy shopping forays in the late 90's, I remember seeing a silicone Randy on a rack of dildos and being astounded at its size. And I still am, truthfully, when I look at this Vixskin Randy. I think “No way I can fit that into an eager orifice,” and yet in it slides, time and time again, with little or no resistance. Funny how that works.

The impressive Jade shaft of the Randy is made of Vixskin, which is soft and squishy on the outside (very realistic!) with a firm inner core. This squishiness is what makes the Randy so easy to take despite his size – the give in the material helps it mold to exactly your curves as it slides in. Vixskin is pretty cool stuff, the best part being that it is made of medical grade silicone, so it can be boiled or dishwashered or wiped down with 10% bleach to sterilize. This is a good thing, because it's actually pretty challenging putting a condom on big-ol' Randy, and Randy is definitely one worth sharing with an eager friend.

For those interested in taking Randy for a ride, take note of the dimensions please. Randy is an advanced toy, despite his squishiness, and is certainly for bodies who understand their response to bigger toys. Whoever you are and however talented your orifice, please do use plenty of lube with Randy. Silicone lube is off limits of course, as Randy is made of silicone himself, so grab a water based of your choice (or oil based if you're taking Randy anal, you brave soul you!) and go to town.

Randy has a suction cup on his base – and it's a good one, so really, you can attach him wherever your heart desires. A chair, a stool, a table, a wall, a mirror (ooooh!), the shower, a car hood... wherever. And, if you had three Randy's, you could probably climb a skyscraper, because the suction cups are so amazingly strong. Perhaps I exaggerate – you might need four.

Randy sits nicely in the palm of your hand for wielding on a friend or wielding on yourself. It is a nice compact size so the center of mass is close to the base of your hand, and consequently it is quite easy to control. I am surprised at the precision with Randy can be used, because he looks like a bit of a brute, really. It's no surprise that Randy performs equally admirably as a strap-on, the same center-of-mass concept helping to really glue its movements and response to the wearers pelvic bone. And because of Randy's squishiness, the rubber ring that holds it in place “bites” in somewhat, holding Randy firm as can be where it's set.

Randy is quite girth-y, so he has a tendency to slide along the g-spot when used vaginally. On me, this results in a powerful squirt when I occasionally pull him out - kind of like when you block off the end of a hose with your thumb and then let it go momentarily. On other partners, this has meant that they turn into a quivering mass of Jelly. So really, your mileage may vary.

Randy is a fabulous dildo. I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't end up loving him despite his intimidating size. Randy is not very useful, however, as a strap-on dildo. He's very very short, and very very stout, and as such the strap on wearer doesn't have too much length to work with, and a lot of girth to get their partner prepared for.

One of my partners is a BBW and when strapped onto her, it was just *not* anywhere near my bits; which is tragic but unavoidable with a short dildo. When I strap it on myself I find I have to arch my back a bit to get my pelvis to thrust out, in order to get adequate length and my belly really isn't too big at all.