Crystal jellies ballsy cock - realistic dildo by Doc Johnson - review by blitzen

Great size, great design... not-so-great material

If the material's safety and smell aren't deal-breakers for you, you'll love this large, realistically shaped dildo. It's sizable enough to please beginners and more experienced users, and features a sturdy suction cup that can double as a place to secure this toy to a harness. This cock is bendable and slightly squishy, but rigid enough to hit all your good spots.
Size, firmness, suction cup is strong and useful
Unsafe material, smelly, picks up lint
Rating by reviewer:
No votes for this review


This is a great toy to people who want to start using larger toys... or just anyone who wants a good-sized dildo. It's just enough length and girth to work with. The dildo features a suction-cup base, but even if you don't make use of it for hands-free or strap-on play, it makes a sturdy grip for you or a partner to hold on to while using it manually.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Solo
    • Strap-on sex
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bedroom
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Suction cup
    • Waterproof
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • Oral
    • Vaginal

Material / Texture

The best aspect of this dildo's PVC material is its texture. It's smooth, but with a slightly sticky feel -- different from any other toy material I've felt. The shaft part of the toy is firm and squeezable, and it won't bend too much unless you're forcing it (although the shaft DOES bend very far back and forth on the base of the dildo).
As much as I like the feel of this dildo, the material just isn't that safe. It's a 2 on the material safety scale because it's so porous, so you have to be careful to clean up each time you use it and EXTRA careful if you plan on sharing it. It also has the capacity to pick up stains if it rests on certain colored toys/fabrics for too long [more on this in the Care/Maintenance section], which is especially unfortunate if, like me, you got the clear version. The pink dildo might be more forgiving about the visibility of stains.
Another downside of the toy's material that might really turn off some people is its smell. I've had this toy for about a year and it STILL smells plastic-y. I've gotten used to it, but if you're sensitive to smells, it could be a reason not to pick this dildo. There's kind of a plastic-y taste to it as well, but that has definitely faded with time, to the point that I can ignore it now; if I'm going to be putting it in my mouth, I usually use a flavored lube anyway.
    • Flexible
    • Porous
    • Strong odor

Design / Shape / Size

The design of this toy, color aside, is very realistic. Unlike some other dildos, the veins on it aren't pronounced enough to be overly exaggerated (although this means that they don't add anything to the texture of the toy while you're using it). The balls are weirdly solid, but that DOES mean that they can slap against you when using the toy, which I like.
Some reviews of this dildo talk about how the size of this toy was intimidating or a problem, so I was a little worried when I ordered it. However, this was my second dildo-style toy ever, and I had no problems with using it. Sure, it's almost 8" long, but an inch and a half of that is balls; also, just because it has 6.5" of insertable length, doesn't mean you have to worry about INSERTING all 6.5". The girth is big, but not too big -- I'm tempted to say "just right". If you're concerned about this toy being too big for you, but you know that you want a toy that's pretty substantial, this toy will be just fine, especially if you use some lube.
    • Beginner
    • Harness compatible
    • Realistic


If you're a person who likes smaller toys, this isn't for you, because the best aspect of this toy is its size for its price. The dildo is just big enough to give you a nice "full" feeling without taking too much effort to get in, like some larger toys might. This is mostly in terms of vaginal use, but you can use it for anal, too (although it's bigger than I like for anal play, so I rarely use it that way).
The worst aspects of this toy are all from the material: the smell, the taste, and the porousness. None of these are huge issues, though. If they were, I wouldn't use this toy so often!
The suction cup is definitely strong enough to hold the toy up, if you make sure to get a good seal (although it's difficult to find a surface that it'll stick to that's in a convenient location). Another good part about the suction cup is that it makes it easy to attach this dildo to an O-ring harness; if you squish in the sides of the suction cup, you can force it through the ring and it'll stay put. The cup itself isn't thick enough to be uncomfortable, as it flattens itself out when in use.
    • Easy to use

Care and Maintenance

I tagged it "easy to clean", because the dildo IS very easy to rinse/wipe off and spray down; however, because of the material, the toy's never going to be as clean as it was straight out of the box. If you plan on using it anally, think about using condoms -- ESPECIALLY if you're going to use it both vaginally and anally!
This is a toy that, unless stored properly, will get kind of gross. I accidentally set it on top of a brightly-colored toy when I first got it, and now my clear dildo has a colored stain on one side of it that won't entirely go away and is very noticeable. Also, because of the slightly sticky texture of the material, this toy is a lint trap. Getting a little plastic bag to store this in (which is what I ended up doing) will keep it in much better shape.
Silicone- and water-based lubes both work fine with this toy. I usually go without, but if I'm starting with this toy or putting it in my mouth, the material is much more comfortable when paired with some lube.
    • Difficult to store
    • Easy to clean


The packaging isn't discreet at all -- you can see the dildo through the mostly-clear box -- but it has kind of a fun design to it. In theory, you could use the box to store the dildo, as the top opens up easily. I'm not sure why you would, though, since the box is a few inches bigger than the toy and is just going to take up extra space. No instructions (not that any are necessary); just a handful of facts about the toy's construction.
    • Minimal
    • Not discreet
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