Official Friday The 13th Parody by Zero Tolerance - review by Airen Wolf

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Remember It's a Parody!

For a change of pace from mainstream porn this movie is great. It isn't meant to be taken seriously and as long as you don't it can be quite enjoyable. The acting is horrible and the movie is no where near scary but all the same is has a charm that will leave you smiling.
Hilarious, great contumes
bad acting, bugs, some scenes seemed forced
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review

Ok so you know how while watching Friday the 13th you kept wishing that the sexy parts could be expanded instead of just suggested? This is not that movie.
The acting in the original movie was not exceptional and this is where the two movies parallel each other. The acting in this movie is comically bad. Despite knowing there was flesh eating jizz somewhere in the movie we were laughing too hard at the atrocious acting to work up a proper horror movie feeling.
Then there were bugs, lots of bugs, crawling all over the actor's tender bits. In the first scene alone Sigel counted 37 bugs, at least he claims there were that many. It could have been the same four or five determined little buggers, who can say?

Sara Sloane portrays sweet Susie, a masseuse for the Crystal Lake Nudist Camp. The movie opens with her stopping at a bar in town and talking to the bartender, played by Tabitha Stevens. Somewhat reluctantly Ms. Stevens tells our sweet Susie all about the monster of Crystal Lake and how after he died his cock somehow marinated at the bottom of the Lake and now proportedly shoots flesh eating jizz. Uh huh That's what I said, flesh eating jizz from a mutated dead guy's over sized prick! Our wide eyed heroine wanders her empty headed way off to find the camp.
When little Susie finds camp we get a few scenes where the denizens talk about bugs, the lake, and orgies. There is a notable lack of nudists in this nudist camp but the outfits are pretty damn cute, as befits a Tabitha Stevens movie.
Suddenly a sex scene erupts between Courtney Cummz and Mr. Pete. It is a Domme/sub scene but like most mainstream protrayals of D/s it lacks a feeling of reality. It is forced and loses steam very quickly. Add in the horrible bugs and it was just a complete disappointment for all three of us. They guys were cheering on the hocky mask clad monster as he ejacualted all over the couple melting them to icky goo. Not terribly terrifying but amusing in a dark comedy sort of way.
Cut scene to sweet Susie exploring the camp and narrowly missing being eaten/raped/dissolved by our mysterious monster in hockey mask. When night falls we watch Rocco Reed being sprayed down by Asa Akira and we learn that he hates bugs. They banter a bit and enter a cabin where Rocco nervously picks up the thin matress on the floor to look beneath it. They get romantic and the scene is fairly entertaining. These two are steamy and lucious together making this my favorite sex scene in the movie. When the action slows Asa wanders off to take a bath and Rocco lays down to relax in a post orgasmic haze. This is where I decided that while I didn't start out liking the movie this is my favorite parody. Despite looking under the mat on the floor, our poor bugophobe gets an arrow to the throat a la Kevin bacon! Priceless!
Cut scene to the bathroom where sexy Asa is preparing for a bath. We see our hockey mask wearing fiend masturbating what looks like an entire cotto salami or a flesh colored baseball bat. He gets excited and we hear screaming as we watch some sludge which was, presumably, lovely Asa melting in jizz. Again, not terribly frightening but comical none-the-less.

Continued in the experience section.
The next few scenes are pretty much standard fare for horror movies; confusing little cut scenes of some others playing strip-opoly which for a nudist camp seems almost wierder than the movie. Then we meet out little Susie creeping around in the dark with a flashlight. She runs into Kris Slater carrying an inflatable doll, he tells her about how the legend of the monster got started and we are treated to a flashback to the party that, apparently, started it all. Carlo Carrera and Kagney Linn Karter are attending a party at the camp but end up in the basement together where they begin a tryst. He explains that he gets pretty big and she is willing to give it a go, until she sees it fully engorged. She screams in pretty understandable terror and he runs off presumably to drown in the lake, pulled down by his enormous penis!
Back to our strip-opoly game played by Brooke Lee Adams, Mark Wood, Brooklyn Lee. Eventually the three decide to stop playing and just have sex, reasonable enough to us three. What wasn't reasonable was the feeling that the girls just weren't into each other and the scene was awkward. When the monster shows up we had to laugh at the absurdity of him masturbating in front of them and then killing them with his "love". Another priceless killing.
We are returned to our Sweet Susie and her inflatable toting beau as they discover the monster's hidey-hole. Upon hearing him creeping up on them they quickly shut his penis in the door which made the guys cry out in mock horror! Then they cut the giant member in two with an ax before succumbing to their lust and sharing a pretty run of the mill sexual experience. The movie ends with a scene of the monster creeping down the hall toward the room sweet Susie and Kris are having sex.

The DVD also offers pop shots, photo gallery, behind the scenes and a chapter menu. The cover art is actually very good. It has a picture of Jason complete with hockey mask behind Sara Sloane.

This was a hard review to write! I didn't like the movie particularly but I did appreciate the humor in it. All in all it was fun to watch but not something that I will be watching over and over. It made for an enjoyable evening for me and the guys but I'm not entirely sure they agree!
Follow-up commentary
This movie is great if you have a group of friends who like parody movies. The plot line is campy enough that it is great to have a couple of beers with a group of friends and laugh.
It has held up well, though we don't tend to abuse even movies we don't much care for.
All in all it has a place in our movie collection for those times we are feeling silly and want something light and fun.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Official Friday The 13th Parody tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Group situations
Do you like this review?
  • BeautifulDarkness
    This is to funny. It's the last movie i expected to see them do this too. I would totally try this out.
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