Astroglide - lubricant by BioFilm - review by veggielover

Lubricant by BioFilm

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Astroglide is completely and utterly disappointing. It does the opposite of what it is supposed to do and is a total waste of money. There are higher quality, healthier products out there that are much more user-friendly than this. It seems that the name alone is the only thing SLICK about Astroglide.
stickiness, taste, ingredients
Rating by reviewer:
useful review
Let's just start off with a disclaimer: I am really a pretty easy to please person, I don't enjoy saying negative things BUT..... I really think Astroglide is an inferior product.
If I could give this product 'negative stars' I would. Seriously, if something has the term GLIDE in its name one would expect that it may enhance the act of gliding. Perhaps the CEO of BioFilm, the manufacturer of Astroglide hasn't read a dictionary recently.

Ahem, from the Webster's New World Collegiate Dictionary, fourth edition:
glide (glid) vi. glid'ed, glid'-ing
1 to flow or move smoothly and easily, as in skating
2 to move or pass by gradually and almost unnoticed, as time

If the product developers had knowingly named something 'glide' yet that product could be used as a lightweight glue, I would call that false advertising. So, this product does not work well for its intended use, but I would consider it for crafts such as collage or perhaps add food coloring and use it as a fingerpainting medium.
When squeezing Astroglide out of the tube, the first thing I noticed was how very thick it was. Much thicker than other water-based lubes and also it makes an unattractive farting noise when coming out of the tube, especially as it got emptier.
And speaking of empty, I emptied this little bottle much faster than similar lubes this size. I just had to keep adding more and more and it kept getting stickier and stickier. I mostly used it for vaginal penetration, and my husband even commented that he was ready to throw in the towel on a particular session because he was getting chafed. So was I. It wasn't a chemical sensitivity, just all the friction that the lube was supposed to be reducing had actually increased. It was worse than using nothing on a dry day because of the "glue effect". Everything seemed good for five minutes, then we were like 'hey, are you feeling kind of stuck? yeah, me too"
I would much rather use good ole' saliva than this stuff. For all the reasons mentioned above, but also because one of the main ingredients is propolene glycol, which is one of the main components in antifreeze. This substance is generally recognized as safe, but one of its properties is to increase skin absorption. That means that anything else it the lube, or any other substances that contact the skin at the same time are more readily absorbed into the bloodstream. As I said, this product must be used in large quantities- 4 quarter-sized globs minimum, spaced at 3 minute intervals. That's a lot of propolene glycol on my delicate vagina membrane. And I use lube almost every day! the ingredient list is as follows: purified water, glycerin, propylene glycol, polyquaternium 15, methylparaben, propylparaben.
The last three ingredients are preservatives. Some people try to avoid parabens because they are suspected hormone disruptors. I will leave the decision up to you. The following is from (Environmental Working Group) a respected consumer information site:
"Laboratory studies suggest parabens can disrupt reproductive hormones (Routledge 1998; Oishi 2001, 2002a, 2002b; Byford 2002; Darbre 2002, 2003; Inui 2003; Gomez 2005; Mikula 2006; Pugazhendhi 2007). In 2006, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) tested urine samples from a group of 100 adults and found parabens in nearly all samples (Ye 2006). Cosmetics typically contain mixtures of parabens. Of the 6 we measured, 5 are fairly common in cosmetics: methyl-, ethyl-, propyl-, isopropyl-, and butylparaben (measured in combination with isobutylparaben); benzylparaben is less common.
Some parabens can irritate the skin or cause allergic reactions (Schamberg 1967; Nagel 1977; Soni 2001, 2002; CIR 2006). Laboratory studies indicate that parabens are estrogenic, meaning they can mimic the hormone estrogen, disrupting normal function of the hormone system (Routledge 1998; Oishi 2001, 2002a, 2002b; Byford 2002; Darbre 2002, 2003; Inui 2003; Gomez 2005; Mikula 2006; Pugazhendhi 2007). In a recent study, traces of 5 different parabens were found in the breast cancer tumors of 19 of 20 women examined (Darbre 2004); other lab studies also link parabens to cancer (Byford 2002; Darbre 2002, 2003; Pugazhendhi 2007), and to reproductive health problems as well (Oishi 2001, 2002)."

I personally don't need a propolene glycol delivery system for parabens into my reproductive area. Nuff said.
The smell of Astroglide is not strong, but it is not pleasant and a bit chem-y. The taste is quite bad- kind of sour and bitter with a sweetness in the background. I would not use this for oral sex because of the flavor. Some reviewers have recommended it for anal, but I think there are better products out there for that purpose.
Follow-up commentary
I don't think that I can ever come around to the dark side and fall in love with Astroglide. I just cannot putting this stuff inside my body. I don't smoke, rarely drink and want to have another kid someday. Just trying to keep the vag in good shape.
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My Astroglide tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Prison
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • None
This review was edited by
  • married with children married with children
  • Rank:
  • Edited reviews: 187
  • Cherrylane
    I TOTALLY agree about this lube all the way. Not only are the ingredients horrible and gave me infections to boot, it's an icky texture and wears off quickly and the bottle broke and leaked and stained my dresser drawer.

    McDonalds of lube.
  • veggielover
    lol ! McDonalds of Lube!
  • BlooJay
    Nice review! Thx!
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