AstroFail.

Astroglide is frustration in a bottle: it tastes horribly, doesn't last long, starts out velvety but soon turns tacky, and then leaves you feeling so coated with goop that you can't feel anything at all! For anal, its waxy feel can be pleasurable for those who don't mind frequent reapplications. But overall, this lube definitely is NOT worth it. If you're looking for pleasure, look elsewhere. As far as lubes go, this truly is one astronomic failure.
Published:
Pros
Widely available, water-based, water-soluble, safe for condoms/toys, okay for anal sex
Cons
Feels like a coating of thick wax, must reapply, NOT pleasurable for solo/vaginal/oral play
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

Astroglide is one of the most recognizable lube names on the market... Too bad it's not worth the hype! If looking for a relatively decent lube on the cheap-ish, Astroglide will suffice... maybe. In a nut shell, here's why: Its water-based formula means it's safe to use with condoms, all sex toys (even those made of silicone), and easy to clean up on almost all surfaces. However, the formula leaves much to be desired since it's sticky and feels thick upon use, leaving you pretty damn desensitized. After several minutes of use, Astroglide feels very tacky. Reapplication is a must, but adding the goop (and that IS how I would describe the feeling of it) only adds to the mess. Neither my partner nor I liked using Astroglide with our sex toys (namely silicone dildos, vibrators, masturbators). The only "good" thing about this lube is that it works alright for anal sex because it has a thicker feel. While the lube is okay for anal, it's *just* okay. Overall, I wouldn't recommend Astroglide. Unless your kink is feeling nothingness during sex.
    • Good for anal

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

The consistency of Astroglide is really something... interesting. This lube is on the thick end of its water-based counterparts. That is to say, it is definitely denser than water, but it's not runny. And it'll take some squeezing to make the drop that hangs from the bottle actually fall out. At first, the formula feels velvety and slick... but that sensation soon turns into that of a sticky, goopy mess. I'm a squirter, and even my personal lubrication couldn't help the lube do its job. The best way I can think to describe the feeling of Astroglide during sex is like having a newly waxed penis and/or vagina: No texture, no feeling, no nothin'!

But here's where the formula really, really falls short (and makes me scratch my head). If you pour Astroglide onto your hand and rub it back-and-forth with your fingers for some time, the clear formula does not absorb AT ALL and instead turns white and bubbly. It's noticeably stickier and looks just like soapy water! ...Maybe it is just expensive soap water. It'd sure explain a lot.
    • Sticky
    • Thick

Taste / Aroma

Astroglide smells like the inside of a soap dispenser: it's a plastic-y soapy smell that is neither horrible nor aromatic. However, the smell is pretty faint and does fade away without washing, so for most this is probably a non-issue.

As for the taste, it's the same as the overall experience: not pleasant. Astroglide is very, very bitter. I definitely do not recommend this for any type of oral adventure.
    • Bad taste
    • Light smell

Performance

Astroglide did not last long at all. Reapplications were necessary to replenish the lube, but only ended up adding to the tacky mess. While its water-based formula makes it easy to clean up, its goopiness means that you absolutely HAVE to clean yourself up if you want to get feeling back... it doesn't absorb and must be washed off with soap and water (see Experience section for more details). Because Astroglide leaves you feeling so coated, it's unfortunately not great for toys either (I tried it using toys of medical grade silicone and VixSkin; my partner used it with his FleshLight). You basically have to douse your pleasure friend with the lube in order to keep it from feeling like, well, plastic. And even then, it just doesn't feel good! I do not recommend Astroglide for vaginal sex or for solo play.

As for anal sex, Astroglide performs decently. Weirdly enough, its vaginally "moisturizing" formula that leaves you feeling coated means it's just right for anal play. It still requires frequent reapplications but does allow for easier entrances/exits. I actually appreciated the thick sensation during anal sex. I'd say when applying, use a little at a time and then reapply in small amounts as needed (and they *will* be needed). Also, be aware that if you're too generous with the portion, the waxiness will be too overpowering, and you certainly won't be able to enjoy anything. As far as using Astroglide for anal sex goes, if it hadn't been for the constant need to reapply, I would have enjoyed it much more.
    • Gets sticky
    • Needs to be washed off with soap and water
    • Reapply often

Packaging

The Astroglide bottle is kind of cool. I guess.

Its packaging is see-through, so you can see exactly what/how much you're getting (which is something I actually do appreciate). The bottle shape for the 5 oz. is like an upright tilde (~), which makes the bottle easy to clutch. However, if the lube gets on the bottle... well, it's basically the definition of slippery.

The back of the bottle has information that includes directions, cautions, ingredients, etc. The bottle explicitly states that it is not a spermicide or contraceptive. Ingredients are purified water, glycerin, propylene glycol, polyquaternium 15, methylparaben, propylparaben. Please note that glycerin is known to heighten the risk of infection (specifically UTI) in some women. As a result, Astroglide really just isn't the best choice on the market.

Astroglide is manufactured by BioFilm, Inc. The company provides users with an 800 number for questions.
    • Not discreet

Special Features

Astroglide's bottle boasts that its "special formula" acts as a "vaginal moisturizer." Moisturizing? Not so much. This property does not work as advertised since it's better as an anal sex feature than as a vaginal moisturizer. Vaginally, the sensation lasts a while but is certainly not pleasurable. It just feels like a vaginal lining of sticky nastiness. I had to rinse myself out to get rid of the palpable layer of Astroglide; even then, I didn't find that the promise of a "moisturizing" property held true. I definitely won't be introducing this as part of my morning moisturizing routine.

Personal comments

Astroglide? What's so "astro" about it? It's definitely not out of this world... unless you are talking about astronomic failures. Like I said, its thick-feeling sensation means that it's alright for anal play. Maybe it should be renamed Analglide. But then again, maybe not... Sounds like what my dog does when she has worms.

Experience

He... and then I... and then we tried. And reapplied. And reapplied. And then wanted to cry. After trying to use Astroglide for foreplay with toys and then during sex (both vaginal and anal) ...and after much frustration... my partner and I decided to abandon the lube; alas, this proved very difficult to do since my vaginal cavity felt absolutely *coated* with the stuff! He had to wash off with soap and water, I tried to rinse myself out with water but had to wait a good while for the goop to slowly seep into me. It was horrible. It wasn't pleasurable alone, with a toy, with a partner, period. Probably one of the WORST lubes I have EVER tried. In my book, this really is an AstroFail.
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This review was edited by
  • ~LaUr3n~ Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
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Comments
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  • Contributor: Talena
    I completely agree with this review..I hate astrolgilde, it's so not worth the waste of money.
  • Contributor: Stinkytofu10
    tyvm for the review
  • Contributor: GONE!
    Very informative, thanks! I won't be trying this stuff anytime soon.
  • Contributor: WD40watcher
    Any comparison on this and K-Y Jelly?
  • Contributor: MissLoren
    thanks for the review
  • Contributor: kdawg
    ty
  • Contributor: Pudyqat
    Informative, honest review
  • Contributor: BlooJay
    Awesome review! Thx!
  • Contributor: xxxbluexxx
    thanks for the review
  • Contributor: JADE76
    nice review
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