Happy penis - lubricant by Classic Erotica - review by Dystobian

Better Than I Imagined

Overall, I personally am very glad that I purchased this product. If any of the properties of this product are a dealbreaker for you, then obviously don't purchase it, but if you are slightly unsure or even simply intrigued by it, I would definitely recommend it. It works well, is inexpensive, and if you dislike it that much (which I doubt you will), you're really only discarding four ounces of product. Definitely give it a go!
Good taste, no aftertaste, low cost, can be used for either partner.
Texture may be a turnoff to some people.
Rating by reviewer:
useful review


This product seems to be geared to men, of course, with a title like "Happy Penis." My partner and I thought that it worked well for masturbation, as it is a massage cream, but more importantly, it worked very well for oral sex. I personally used it for my own masturbation purposes, and found that it worked very well. I would definitely recommend it for women as well. It is water based, so a shower option is out, but its usefulness otherwise makes up for that particular shortcoming.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
    • Massage
    • Masturbation
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • In the bedroom
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Masturbation
    • Oral

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

I have tried a number of water-based lubricants, and a lot of them were fairly thin in consistency. However, this is the complete opposite. Happy Penis actually has the consistency of a lotion, like Jergen's or St. Ives. It works very well for its initial purpose ("massage") because of that, but if you are very sensitive to texture you may want to think twice about using it for oral.
    • Creamy
    • Smooth
    • Thick

Taste / Aroma

I personally purchased this product in Pina Colada (or Penis Colada, as the package cleverly states). It does have a light scent that is remniscent of the taste of it, and is actually very pleasant. It provided absolutely no negative effects to the experience. The taste of the product is very, very good, in my opinion. For those of us who do not necessarily enjoy giving oral sex, this may very well be a god-send. Mine actually masked the natural tastes associated with oral rather well. It stayed true to its flavor description, and finishes with little to no aftertaste whatsoever.
    • Light smell
    • Smells good
    • Strong taste


When I first tried it (as a massage cream on my partner), I thought that I would have to apply more after some time, mostly because I was used to slightly runnier/thinner consistencies like some other products. However, not only did I not have to reapply it, it still worked very well for oral afterwards, and the taste remained as long as necessary. Since this is water based, it is not hard to get off at all. If you need to wash it off, just use a little bit of warm water and it should come right off.
    • Absorbs into skin nicely


There wasn't any specific packaging surrounding this product, as it was just the container of lubricant. As you can see in the photo of it, the labeling on the actual bottle is not very discreet at all, and is in fact very brightly colored and amusing. With a product name like "Happy Penis," you can probably tell that it was not created to be subtle and discreet. The description is very straightforward, and ingredients are listed on the back.
    • Can be opened with one hand
    • Easy to use / dispense
    • Not discreet

Special Features

As far as I know, this product is not intended to have any special properties. However, keep in mind that if you use an ample amount, the texture of the product (very thick) may have a subtle numbing property. This is to be expected, and is not at all uncomfortable. If the idea bothers you, use a little less. It will still work wonderfully.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
Become a Reviewer. Get free toys. Enjoy Special Deals
This review was edited by
  • Geogeo Geogeo
  • Rank:
  • Edited reviews: 304
  • RedKyuubi
  • dindagail
    Thanks for the review!
  • married with children
    thanks for sharing.
  • Leather & Lace
  • Cat E.
    Good review.
  • Robert Paulson
    Thanks for the review!
Discussion Posts Last Update
Can you use Happy Penis for anal? 1
Flavors 7
Thank you for viewing Happy penis – lubricant review page!