Happy penis - lubricant by Classic Erotica - review by ~LaUr3n~

More Like Happy Taste Buds!

Happy Penis makes for one very happy mouthful of taste buds! This stuff smells and tastes delicious! It smooths in nicely and makes giving oral more fun even if you already enjoy it immensely like I do. I did not think I needed a product like this, but I am glad I decided to try it anyways!
Tastes and smells awesome! Smooths in nicely, label can be peeled off, generous amount, $
Does not tingle like label says, but does make tongue a tad numb. It contains parabens.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


Having trouble getting your lover to give you oral? Do they not like the taste or smell? Perhaps you just want it more or want your partner to enjoy it even more? Make your junk taste and smell like a candy store so they can't resist!

Happy Penis is a wonderful massage cream that is designed to be used during a handjob. It is also flavored so that oral is pleasant and fun. The bottle claims to have have a tingling effect, but the only area that felt a tingle was my tongue, not my partner's member. Regardless, Happy Penis is a lot of fun even if you love giving oral! It smells and tastes great, is easy to clean up, and lasts a long time.

This is not a lubricant! It does contain glycerin, but because it should not be used as a lubricant, this should not be a problem from those who have vaginal sensitivities to the ingredient. If they do, a simply wipe down will work.

Ingredients: Water, Glycerin, Cetyl Alcohol, Stearyl Alcohol, Xanthan Gum, Mineral Oil, Steareth-21, Carbomer, Flavor, Triethanolamine, Methylparaben, Propylparaben, Sorbic Acid, Disodium EDTA, Sodium Saccharin, CHERRY also contains: Red 40 (CL 16035), Red 33 (CL 17200

NOTE: This product does contain parabens
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Foreplay
    • Massage
    • Oral
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Oral

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

Happy Penis is very thick. It is comparable to a deep conditioning hair conditioner or a cream body lotion. It does not run or drip at all. It also never feels greasy or oily. In fact, it works much like a lotion, and depending on how much you use it can absorb very nicely into the skin. It is very smooth and makes any area that it is absorbed into feel luxurious and very soft. After a while, it will feel less smooth, but it never really feels sticky or gross.
    • Creamy
    • Smooth
    • Thick

Taste / Aroma

Happy Penis comes in a few flavors: Cherry, Mint, Pina Colada, and Banana. To be honest, only the cherry seemed appealing for this product. In a lot of other products I have tried cherry flavoring ends up tasting like a cough syrup. Not in this case! First off, it smells amazing! I wanted to squeeze it into a bowl and eat it with a spoon just based on how delicious it smells! It smells exatly like cherry Dannon yogurt. Yum! The aroma is strong, but it does not travel or keep long. The taste is sweet and scrumptious. It does taste like cherries and remarkably does not taste all that synthetic. I LOVE it!
    • Smells good
    • Strong taste
    • Tastes good


I love using this for hand jobs! It is a lot more pleasant than using lubricant or spot since it tastes awesome! My partner has never smelled or tasted bad but I imagine that this cream would cover up any less than pleasant tastes or smells. It tastes so good that I treated his member more like a lollipop or popsicle than a penis! I already enjoy giving oral, but this cream makes it more interesting and different for a fun change. It also works on females too. After smoothing it into him and licking to my hearts content, I wiped the excess off onto myself with my hands. My partner enjoyed liking it up too.

After we were done with our oral foreplay, I wiped my hands on a near by towel. That was all the clean up that was necessary for us to continue on with the man event. The cream did not feel sticky or make us feel like me needed an intermission to clean up.

It did not give him a tingly feeling at all. The bottle says it should, but I only felt it on my tongue. It did make my tounge feel slightly numb, to the point that it was annoying after I stopped giving oral. It went away quickly enough that it did not interrupt kissing or my pleasure shortly thereafter.
    • Absorbs into skin nicely
    • Long lasting
    • Performance


The packaging is cute and easy to use. A generous size of 4 fluid ounces will last a long time! The Happy Penis container is cylindrical with a rounded top that pulls up and down. Pulled up, the cream can be squeezed out. Pushed down, it seals itself and does not leak, making it safe for travel. I wish the bottle's plastic was a tad less firm so that it would be easier to squeeze out when it gets low on contents. The label on the container has funny penis graphics and sexual language, but the nice thing is that the label can be peeled off. It also says it is made in the USA and gives a company website.
    • Does not leak
    • Not discreet
    • Travel friendly

Personal comments

Sometimes feelings can get hurt when it comes to sex. Who wants to ever tell their partner that they are lacking in a sexual way? Thankfully, I did not buy this product for a need, but I still appreciate the way the product is presented. If you do have a partner that has a funky smell or taste that is preventing you from giving them oral more often, Happy Penis is advertised in such a way that it is not insulting or intimidating to present to your partner. It appears fun, whimsical, and actually does not imply anything negative.
Follow-up commentary
I am still a fan of this stuff and have recommended it to many people. I enjoy using this for hand jobs that turn into blow jobs. It makes oral even more fun than it already is and makes me do things I don't typically do with my tongue during oral. It does not take a lot of this product to be effective so I still have plenty left.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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  • Entropy
    Fantastic review, very detailed. I love your description of the texture.
  • ~LaUr3n~
  • lzee
    Thank you!
  • Bignuf
    Thank for the good review.
  • ~LaUr3n~
  • Cat E.
    Great review.
  • ~LaUr3n~
  • MissCandyland
    Thank you for the great review!
  • ~LaUr3n~
  • mmmmm
    Thank you for the review
  • ~LaUr3n~
  • thickmami
  • sXeVegan90
    Thanks for the review!
  • ~LaUr3n~
  • ruger7mm420
  • dsumrow1
  • Robert Paulson
    Thanks for the review!
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