Crystal jellies royal - realistic dildo discontinued by Doc Johnson - review by Kitty LaRue

The Doc Johnson Crystal Jellies Royal is certainly a challenge. This is the second dildo I've ever used (the first being a Doc Johnson classic 8 Inch Dong), and even though the lengths were similar, the girth of this toy is absolutely astounding. The length of this toy allow you to use it by yourself or with a partner, and the addition of a suction cup on the bottom allow it to stick to almost any hard, smooth surface, which gives all sorts of options as far as use goes. You can stick it to the side of a bathtub or shower, a wall, you can stick it on a chair, or almost any other hard surface. (I have to admit, the most fun I've had with it so far has been sticking it to things- but more on that later.) The Royal is certainly large enough to provide really great vaginal stimulation, and I suppose, in theory, that it could be used for anal purposes (because of the flared base), however, I know I will not be attempting to use it anally anytime soon. It's just too big. The base provides enough for a partner to hold, so it could be used in a couple situation, although I would prefer to use it solo. My only warning as far as use: THIS IS NOT FOR BEGINNERS. I would even use caution if you've only used smaller dildos solo and/or only been with more average sized partners. I totally didn't realize how massive this toy is until the moment I pulled it out of the box. Length wise it's fairly unassuming (7 1/2 inches insertable length, which is plenty), but as far as girth goes? Make sure you're well lubricated and turned on before even attempting. I dove right in (albeit with copious amounts of lube) and still ended up extremely sore. I would even go so far as to recommend warming up with a smaller dildo and/or fingers before attempting. Go slow, and as always, stop if you feel any pain. Also, along with the size, this toy is so large and lifelike (more on that later) that it's quite difficult to hide, and would be almost impossible to travel with (in my opinion). Just know that if your dear old Aunt Sally runs across this one, there is nothing you could make up to cover up the fact that it is, in fact, a sex toy. It's quiet (non-vibrating), so technically, it would be ideal for use in close quarters, but I think the fact that it's just so large and hard to hide makes it not exactly shared living friendly.

The Crystal Jellies Royal is made out of "Sil-A-Gel" material, or PVC. PVC has quite a low safety rating (2), and for that reason it should be used with condoms, especially (especially!) if you intend to use it anally or share it with multiple partners. The material is latex and phthalate free, and has anti-bacterial properties as well. The material itself is quite pliable, and very squishy. It's firm, but not rigid, and appears to hold temperature slightly (I've only tried placing it in hot water before use, not the refrigerator). This is a realistic toy, and man, if there's one thing I've enjoyed, it's just how realistic this toy is. The cock and balls are molded with an insane amount of attention to detail, and every little wrinkle, vein, and bump is present, providing a gentle textural stimulation. One thing that I really, really liked about the Royal is that it appears to have a foreskin. The frenulum is clearly present, and the wrinkles right below the glans appear to be that of a retracted foreskin. Personally, I like intact penises, and I really liked that this one appeared to be so. I would deem this texture fine for beginners, but again, due to the size, I just can't recommend it for someone who doesn't have a lot of experience. One thing, however, that I really didn't like, was the intense strong smell. Maybe I'm just sensitive to the smell of this particular toy, but it came out of the box smelling strongly of plastic, and it's seemed to have gotten worse with every washing. However, despite the smell, it really doesn't have that strong of taste. Just a slight "pool toy" taste, which is more of a reflection of the very strong "pool toy" odor. It's also a little sticky, so definitely, definitely use a fair amount of lubricant with this one.

The design of the Royal has been one of the better I've ever encountered. It's incredibly true to life, and I have enjoyed just playing with it, feeling it, and stroking it more than I have any other toy. So far I've gotten the most enjoyment out of practicing hand job techniques on it. It's so lifelike that I swear, once it's warmed and lubed, it feels like it's attached to someone. The coloring (a slightly opaque clear with a grey-blue tinge) detracts slightly from the lifelikeness, but also makes it a little less imposing. When it came to vaginal use, I didn't have much luck. This toy is big. Really, really big. The total length is 9 inches, with 7 1/2 insertable and a 6 inch circumference. It took me a lot of relaxation, tons of lubricant, and more than one try to even get it in, and after that, I immediately had to remove it because it hurt. After more lubricant and a go with my rabbit and another dildo, I did manage to comfortably insert it, but thrusting it was just too much. I really don't think it would fit beginners, or even some average users. As mentioned before, this toy is definitely not discreet. It's big, realistic, and very hard to hide. I wouldn't deem it good for travel either. There's no mistaking this one, folks.

The best feature of this, by far, is the texture, and how lifelike it is. I love touching it and playing with it with my hands, and like I mentioned before, practicing hand jobs with it. The suction cup is also really great, and it's stuck to most everything I've tried (shower wall, regular wall, headboard, counter top, mirrors, hard chair, cupboard door, you name it). I do believe I saw another reviewer mention that this toy is harness compatible, but since I don't have a harness, I didn't get to test that out. For my size, it wasn't very comfortable internally, but that doesn't mean it won't fit you.

This toy is made of PVC (polyvinyl chloride), and has a safety rating of 2. This means that it's porous, and should ideally be used with condoms to prevent the growth of bacteria. It's fully waterproof(no batteries or moving parts, pure PVC), and you can wash it with antibacterial soap and water, or use toy cleaner. So far it really hasn't shown a tendency to collect dust or lint, though it does seem to be a hair magnet. It's compatible with silicone and water based lubricants, which is a plus for some. It's large, so it's not really going to fit in a nightstand (unless you have a really big nightstand!). I keep mine in my lingerie drawer with the rest of my non-discreet toys. You could keep the box for storage if you wanted, but personally that's not something I like to do.

The Royal came in a clear plastic box covered in fun, whimsical print. With sayings like "grab a jellie and jam!" on the side, and no pornographic slogans, wording, or pictures, I liked this box a lot. However, since it's clear, you can definitely see what's inside. I personally wouldn't use this as a gift or storage box, but that's more personal preference than anything else. The box has all the toys stats printed on it, and is a good source of information about the toy (size, color, material, all is listed on the box).

For me, the Royals is something that I hope to work up to. Right now, I'm just not experienced enough with penetration to use it on a regular basis. It's been almost 48 hours since I used it for the first time, and I'm still smarting down there (I suspect I may have even torn a bit). However, I'm a little petite in that area, so don't let my experience scare you. If you know for sure that you can handle the massive girth of this toy (6 inches!) go for it! I'm sure you'll have a blast. I have enjoyed being able to practice hand/blowjobs on this toy, and it's been fun to just feel and touch and bend. I give it four out of five stars simply for how much fun it is to have around. It definitely would have earned the fifth star if I had been able to use it more easily.