Many new submissives make mistakes when they first start exploring the BDSM world. That's normal. What's not normal is making a mistake and then refusing to take any responsibility. Yes there are some things that can happen that you might not be able to prevent, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful and do whatever you can to prevent bad things from happening. Here is a list of things you can do to protect yourself. They won't prevent every bad thing that could happen, but it can go a long way towards protecting you.
1. Don't play on the first date
I know what it's like to be a new submissive. It's like being a kid in a candy store. You want to try everything and you want to try it now. But that doesn't mean you should. Just like with any other relationship, you should take your time and get to know them before jumping into bed with them. And you might say, "well I've had sex on the first date before and it turned out fine." That may be true but that sex probably didn't include anything like being tied up and beaten. While there aren't many differences between a D/s relationship and a vanilla one, there is a little more danger when it comes to BDSM.
2. When you do play, have a safeword
Doms aren't mind readers. If you get a cramp, something goes numb, or if you just don't like something, they don't know if you don't tell them. A safeword is a great way to do this. A great system to use is the stop light system: green for "everything's fine," yellow for "we need to stop for a second," and red for "play needs to stop NOW." If you are gagged, you should think of a way to safeword without actually speaking, such as holding a ball in your hand that you drop when something is wrong. Having a safeword doesn't necessarily mean you will be 100 percent protected. The person you play with could refuse to stop, but it will go a long way towards keeping yourself safe.
3. Have a safe call
When you play for the first time, you should set up a safe call with a friend (preferably one that knows about your interest in kink). A safe call is someone who knows where you will be and you set up a time where you will call them no matter what. If you don't call, they know something is wrong and can notify the authorities. You can also set up a code word system. If you say one word it means "everything is fine," and if you say another word it means "something is very wrong." Once again this will not protect you completely, but it will certainly help.
I hope after reading this article you feel more informed about ways to protect yourself as a new submissive. Even if you decide they're not for you, I hope you learned something new.
1. Don't play on the first date
I know what it's like to be a new submissive. It's like being a kid in a candy store. You want to try everything and you want to try it now. But that doesn't mean you should. Just like with any other relationship, you should take your time and get to know them before jumping into bed with them. And you might say, "well I've had sex on the first date before and it turned out fine." That may be true but that sex probably didn't include anything like being tied up and beaten. While there aren't many differences between a D/s relationship and a vanilla one, there is a little more danger when it comes to BDSM.
2. When you do play, have a safeword
Doms aren't mind readers. If you get a cramp, something goes numb, or if you just don't like something, they don't know if you don't tell them. A safeword is a great way to do this. A great system to use is the stop light system: green for "everything's fine," yellow for "we need to stop for a second," and red for "play needs to stop NOW." If you are gagged, you should think of a way to safeword without actually speaking, such as holding a ball in your hand that you drop when something is wrong. Having a safeword doesn't necessarily mean you will be 100 percent protected. The person you play with could refuse to stop, but it will go a long way towards keeping yourself safe.
3. Have a safe call
When you play for the first time, you should set up a safe call with a friend (preferably one that knows about your interest in kink). A safe call is someone who knows where you will be and you set up a time where you will call them no matter what. If you don't call, they know something is wrong and can notify the authorities. You can also set up a code word system. If you say one word it means "everything is fine," and if you say another word it means "something is very wrong." Once again this will not protect you completely, but it will certainly help.
I hope after reading this article you feel more informed about ways to protect yourself as a new submissive. Even if you decide they're not for you, I hope you learned something new.
people need to read this