Worth the Noise

The hyper bullet is the perfect stimulator for both the clitoris and the nipples. Even for those with less sensitive nipples, there is a range of power, which is sure to light your fire. I would consider my own nipples to be of average sensitivity and on the 5th speed, I was tingly all over. As for its clitoral use, the high level of power that is offered with the ten speed settings as well as the five functions means that this bullet is going to please beginners and advanced users alike. The functions and speed are also lit by a red light to provide convenience for nighttime play.

On the other hand, this item is really not meant for insertion nor is it waterproof. If you have a roommate, live with parents, or have paper-thin walls, this is not the bullet for you as it is noisy. While cycling through to find the function I want, it sounds kind of like a Yeti, which is amusing for me. However, it might not be so amusing for someone who shares housing. In relation, the bullet also has to go through all the previous speeds to turn it off. There is no feature that allows for this to be quickly turned off. In fact, popping one of the batteries out would probably be faster than cycling back through the speeds if unexpected guests show up. That being said, those who enjoy toys that remember the last setting will also not be pleased with this bullet. Finally, the ease with which this turns on makes it less than travel-friendly unless the batteries are packed separately.

The material of this bullet is plastic, which is rigid yet smooth. Some individuals may find that they like different coatings on their bullets as the plastic isn't necessarily much fun texture-wise like a velvet-finish might be. Plastic is an 8 on the safety scale. This item isn't porous, but it cannot be sterilized either thanks both to the material and to the mechanical aspects of this toy. Two definite benefits of a plastic toy are lack of taste, and lack of smell. I also find that, in this case, the plastic slicks up so easily that it's perfect for sliding up and down the clitoris and perfect for those who don't produce a lot of natural lubrication. Plastic is also phthalate-free and latex-free for those with sensitivities.

First and foremost, I found the purple color to be somewhat pleasing given that I just see a crap ton of silver bullets. However, I don't know why they make so many bullets that are see-through! Do I really want to see the batteries or mechanical parts behind my bullet? Doubtful. Eden lists this bullet as being three inches long, though it looks slightly shorter to me. It also has a circumference of 3 inches and a diameter of one. Honestly, the girth of a bullet makes very little difference to me, and since bullets are not particularly stimulating to insert (and often not designed for insertion), the length doesn't really matter either. There is a VERY visible crevice down the middle, and I find it's super hard to clean out...requiring a toothpick if you happen to let your bodily fluids dry in the crack without realizing it. I admittedly don't always wash my toys the second I get done playing because I often drift off to sleep...this needs an immediate cleaning. As far as being discreet, I've seen smaller bullet and control sets. There is also no lock button, so if you plan to carry this with you, take out one of the batteries.

It's multi-speed and multi-function! Need I say more? I actually see this bullet being really set apart from other bullets by the five different functions and ten different speeds, though I should say that adjusting the speed doesn't always translate to a difference in the feel of the function. For some reason, the functions on the controller are labeled in roman numerals of sorts (X.I, X.II, X.III, X.IV, and X.V) while the speeds are labeled 1 through 10. The button to control the function has an "F" on it, while the speed is controlled by separate up and down arrows. The vibrations are located in the upper half of the bullet, as they should be, so your fingers don't vibrate off. On the higher speeds, this toy can be heard through my closed door. However, I imagine it might be dulled a bit by play under the covers and a little background music or noise. The controller is a no-brainer and super easy to use. Plus, this little bullet is powerful! However, this bullet is not waterproof.

Your best bet to cleaning this little bullet is to use wipes. Unfortunately, it's just too easy to get moisture within this control panel otherwise. The crevice in the middle of the bullet also strikes me as not being safe to get wet, even with a foam cleaner. To clean out the crevice, I find that a toothpick is best (if you've let it sit over night) followed up by a dry toothbrush. Honestly, it's a pain to clean, and I don't understand the point of the crevice at all. I would think this would be an easy fix for the company and save consumers time and aggravation. As far as storing this bullet, it's plastic, so it just gets thrown in my drawer. It is compatible with water, oil, and silicone-based lubricants, though I doubt many use lube for bullets as they can become too slippery to grip.

I received my bullet as a free item, and similarly to many of the free items, it came with minimal packaging. It basically came in a plastic bag with a gold twisty tie around the cord. There were no instructions, and I wasn't even aware that it needed 3 triple A batteries until I looked at the back compartment, which then let me guess with size. The battery compartment does have the + and - signs to show the direction the batteries must be inserted in though. If I were giving a gift, I would want more packaging. For myself, the minimal packaging is nice for me and nice for the environment. The material of the bullet also makes the minimal packaging more reasonable as plastic stores easily even without additional packaging.