The Beautiful Kind Columns

As a sex surrogate and sexplorer, I have a philosophy when it comes to people, places and things: Leave them better than you found them. That is always my goal. When I’m in bed with someone, I want them to feel amazing and very special. Despite my best intentions, however, it doesn’t always work out that way. Virgin #1 was a 38-year-old man with a dismal track record in the bedroom. He went to bars to “pick up chicks,” but would shut down as soon as he got them home. He’d give them oral sex, all the while sweating bullets as he feared letting them down, which in his mind, he did. He counted on alcohol to cloud the evening, mumbling about “whiskey dick” as he sheepishly showed them the door. Finally, he decided enough was enough, and he sought professional help. I spent a couple hours talking with him about his issues, which was one key to solving them. Having it all out in the open was a relief to him—it was good to be on the same page instead of hiding his insecurities like porn under the mattress. We then spent a couple hours in a very open and honest...

In general, men can stave off the inevitable for the sake of his partner, employing techniques akin to swinging a guitar solo or engaging his audience. Some men, however, have trouble lasting even five minutes—it’s more like a radio jingle—and they’re anxious to build up their longevity so they can properly satisfy their partner. Plus, radio jingles are annoying. There’s an interesting phenomenon called The Coolidge Effect, which got its name from President Calvin and Mrs. Coolidge. Seems the First Couple was visiting a farm, and Mrs. Coolidge remarked that she wished the Commander in Chief were as randy as a rooster they saw strutting around. President Coolidge retorted, “Well it’s no wonder I’m not as frisky; I’ve only got one hen in my henhouse.” The Coolidge Effect is when a man become bored with his regular sex partner, but gets “over enthusiastic” (comes in a flash) when introduced to new ones. Case in point: I worked with a 45-year-old attorney who said he’d could go a decent amount of time during intercourse with his wife of ten years, but now th...

I don’t know about you, but I love surprises. You never can tell what a man’s penis is going to be like just by looking at him. I’ve hooked up with a 6’4” guy with huge hands and feet, only to discover he has an average size penis. I’ve been shocked to find out the 5’7” Asian man with delicate features is a show-er, not a grow-er. The other day I met with a new client, an attractive, fit 34-year-old. Usually, I get a clue what’s on a client’s mind prior to meeting him, but in this case I had no idea what his issue was. This appealed to me. I was going to get a surprise.

In fact, if you look up “Reason for Erection” on the internet, besides getting some German band’s website, you’ll also find a lot of resources for unfortunate teenage boys plagued with erection problems: Erections during class. Erections at night. Erections for no reason at all. Boo-hoo, must be nice! I hope they remember that 40 years from now! According to evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa, the only biological function of an erection is to allow men to have intercourse with women, with the end goal of making a baby. But hey, we’re human, and sometimes men want to use their dicks recreationally. It can be extremely frustrating when the little head doesn’t play nicely with the big head. As a sex surrogate, I help out men with all kinds of issues. One of the more common complaints is ED—erectile dysfunction. There are two causes for ED—physical and mental. Physical conditions may include hardening arteries, high blood pressure, kidney disease, neurological diseases, prostate problems, heart disease, diabetes, and more. In addition, prescription m...