Come as You Are

Before I ever knew what multiple orgasms, vaginal orgasms, or squirting were, I was experiencing them. It wasn’t until recently, however, that I found out that my experience was not typical. All women do not orgasm equally, it seems.

The first time I recall having a G-spot orgasm—or any type of orgasm for that matter—was the first time I had sex with my husband. Since it was 32 years ago, I don’t recall all the details. What I do remember, however, was feeling things I’d never felt before—and feeling them over and over again.

Now, I can’t say for sure if the climaxes I was experiencing are what are commonly referred to as vaginal or G-spot orgasms. I only know that they’d happen during penetration. It wasn’t until five years later that I had my first clitoral orgasm. Now that was a revelation! And it was a total fluke.

I remember it perfectly: Our son was about three months old and we had just put him to bed for the night. We lived in a small apartment at the time, so his crib was in our room. My husband and I started feeling frisky on the couch. Things were getting pretty hot and heavy, so rather than risk waking the baby, we decided to stay right where we were. I’m pretty sure it was the first time we did it in a sitting position—me on top facing my husband—but everything lined up just right.

I didn’t realize that what I was doing was rubbing my clit against him, or that the result would be an earth-shattering orgasm. I just knew it felt good, so I kept doing it. All of a sudden, out of the blue, I was hit with a wave of sensations that went from the top of my head all the way down to my toes. It was a true Holy shit! What just happened? moment.

We decided to try it again to see if we could achieve similar results. We could. But I still had no idea what exactly what we were doing right. It wasn’t until much later, when I started reading about masturbation and learning more about my own anatomy that I truly understood what was going on.

Since then, I’ve found out that most women don’t experience vaginal orgasms, let alone in multiples. Most multiple orgasms are clitoral. But, as is typical, I’m ass-backwards. I cannot achieve multiple clitoral orgasms, but I can go all night having vaginal ones. And fortunately for me, my husband can keep up.

Some experts say clitoral and vaginal orgasms are the same thing, but I beg to disagree. For me, clitoral is a head-to-toe body rush that causes all my muscles to tense up. Afterward, I get very still and quiet, and my clitoris is so sensitive, that if my husband were to try to touch it, he’d be in big trouble.

Vaginal orgasms, on the other hand, are completely localized in the pelvic area. They feel more like a pushing sensation. My muscles just let go. This is often accompanied by what many call squirting. These are very easy for me to achieve. They come in multiple waves, increase in intensity, and the whole neighborhood knows when I’m having one—or several. (At least that’s what my husband tells me.)

Now the absolute best of all climaxes, is when both of these happen together. And believe me, it’s not easy to accomplish. But once in a while, the universe aligns for “a big bang.” I never even knew something like that was possible—until we introduced sex toys into our repertoire. Our first foray using a vibrator during intercourse resulted in what is called a combined or blended orgasm. (Personally I prefer the term combined because it’s more like two distinct orgasms happening at the same time.)

It was another, Whoa! What was that? epiphany. I’d never felt anything like it in my entire life—and all I knew was that I wanted it to happen every time from that moment on. Unfortunately, it doesn’t. But when it does, it’s the ultimate experience—or at least that’s what I thought, until recently.

Now, I’m always about the next new thing. I’m forever in search of better, longer, more mind-blowing orgasms. I’m always pushing myself further because I want to know how far I can go. Are there even higher peaks that can be reached? One day not long ago, I was spending a little “alone” time with my rabbit vibrator, and I had an orgasm that left me unable to move for what seemed like several minutes. That was a first. Not only because it was a new experience, but also because it was the first time that I can say that I had one alone better than the ones I have with my husband.

If I stay on the same trajectory of ever-improving orgasms I’m on now, I can’t even imagine what it will be like in 10 or even 20 years. But how cool would it be if I look back at me at 50 and think: “That was nothing. You should see the ones I have now!”