Happy Hooters - female intimate lotion by Doc Johnson - review by zj22

It's Hooterific

Say goodbye to your sweaty boob rashes and discomfort with Happy Hooters. Rub into your breasts and help whisk away uncomfortable, smelly sweat. This little bottle of lotion will leave you feeling soft and smelling fresh. For this price, it really is a steal.
Great price. Does what it's supposed to. Light fresh scent.
A larger size of bottle, or different scents available would be a plus.
Rating by reviewer:
useful review


Happy Hooters Female Comfort Lotion from Doc Johnson is a curious but altogether ingenious creation. The idea behind Happy Hooters is to help ease any chafing, rash, or general discomfort caused by your breasts rubbing. This does wonders at doing its job. Just rub this on and it's no more sweaty boob rash.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Massage
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bath / shower
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Breasts

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

When you open up this little four and half ounce bottle and get a dab of Happy Hooters, you'll instantly notice its texture. This lotion is seemingly very thin and almost watery. You won't need much however as just a very small drop on a fingertip goes a long way. There's no sticky, greasy, or oily residue left behind either; instead you'll have baby soft and dry skin, almost as though you smack on some powder, but without the mess.
    • Slick
    • Thin

Taste / Aroma

This lotion has a very light, powdery fragrance with a slight hint of something almost minty. It's not overpowering in the least and simply leaves the skin smelling clean and fresh. The odor lasts nearly all day as do the lotions effects.
    • Light smell
    • Smells good


The point behind this clever little lotion is that it will absorb all sweat on and under the breasts to prevent discomfort. This is especially helpful for those with large breasts. Once you put this lotion on after a bath or shower, your breasts will be sweat free all day long. Happy Hooters contains tapioca starch, aloe barbadensis leaf, colloidal silver, and isopropyl palmitate. Isopropyl palmitate specifically is an ingredient which whisks moisture away and leaves skin feeling powdery and soft. The colloidal silver is an additive used for its antiseptic properties and helps preserve your lotion.
    • Absorbs into skin nicely
    • Feels natural
    • Long lasting


Comes in a small black bottle, marked as "Happy Hooters Female Comfort Lotion" with a Doc Johnson logo on the top. The bottle is nice sturdy plastic and the lid won't leak. It stands on its head for easy pouring and features a rather amusing little pair of "eyes" or possible breasts staring back at you. The bottle fits nicely into the palm of your hand and you can easily find space for storage. The four and half ounce bottle is two and a half inches wide and approximately four inches long.
    • Discreet looking packaging
    • Does not leak
    • Easy to use / dispense
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This review was edited by
  • Kindred Kindred
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Do you like this review?
  • Hallmar82
    Thanks, nice to know it works.
  • This Is For The Birds
    Thanks for the review.
  • Beautiful-Disaster
    Thanks for your review.
  • mpfm
    Thanks for the review.
Discussion Posts Last Update
Body wash just for the boobies? That will look good in my shower 1
Would I like Happy Hooters? 20
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