Happy Hooters - female intimate lotion by Doc Johnson - review by Airen Wolf

Keep your hooters dry and smelling sweet!

I can honestly say I now have Happy Hooters! My boobs are less sweaty, have no vinegary smell at the end of the day, and are less irritated when I wear a bra all day. The lotion smells great and isn't overly feminine and flowery!
Nice scent,
Fairly discreet bottle,
Works well
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review
I have large breasts and, while large breasts are considered lovely by most people, they do present a special set of problems. Mainly they sweat, they really sweat. I know it's sort of unladylike to mention such things but, when all is said and sifted, boob sweat is particularly troublesome. You see, breasts don't sweat in pretty little dewy drops that evaporate quickly, they pour rivers from underneath. Then it collects in the bra and becomes a sort of petri dish for any number of natural bacteria that are present on the skin. Yeah, like underarms, they begin to smell quite funky after a day of being trapped in a cotton bra during the heat of summer. Then you have the problem of skin irritation...but I will stick to what this lovely product can do for sweating breasts.

Doc Johnson has designed a great little lotion, called "Happy Hooters", that will not stop the skin from sweating but will stop the fermentation afterwards. Like deodorant for the arms, it will not stop perspiration (antiperspirant does that!) which is a good thing because you don't want the pores to become clogged or irritate the somewhat delicate skin under the breasts. Happy Hooters will stop the resulting vinegary smell of the sweat and make you much more comfortable. All women are different and some women smell musky, some smell sickly sweet, but I tend to have a heavy vinegar smell to my sweat. I find it to be most offensive. So I have, in the past, carried a small bottle of feminine wash and a wash cloth in my purse so that I could stop in a lady's room and clean my skin. This is not only embarrassing it's really an inconvenience!

When I hear that this lotion could make my skin feel drier, and take away the smell for hours, I knew I had to try it out. My skin under my breasts is somewhat sensitive, to other products, and cannot tolerate being too dry. So powder and I just didn't get along! Lotion worked but clogged my pores and sometimes resulted in pimples; so not pleasant. This lotion goes on smoothly, and doesn't dry out completely, but provides a nice surface for my breasts to rest against; rather than chafing against the skin of my rib cage all day. This surface is so nice that it also prevents my bra band from rubbing sores on my rib cage when I am out and about in the heat! I am not tugging and pulling at my bra band all day which makes me feel much more confident and comfortable in public.

The lotion has a spicy, almost deodorant, smell to it. It isn't overly feminine; it's almost neutral. It blends well with perfume scents without over powering or changing the scent. I love to wear a little light scent during the day but I have found that this lotion blends with my body chemistry most pleasantly and I often forgo adding anything else. As my guys say, "It makes the boobs smell good!" It also makes me feel good when people lean in and then tell me I smell amazing. I have to laugh when they ask me what I'm wearing though. I mean, really, how often do you get to tell people you have happy hooters? Usually I just say it's a new lotion. If they are really interested I hand them a coupon flyer for EF and write the name of the product on it. Then we laugh a bit.

The lotion is a creamy white, but it doesn't leave any residue on the skin that would make it hard to put on a little black dress. I know many of you have horror stories about deodorant streaks on your clothes, so I was kind of worried about this myself. I wear very expensive bras that I don't want crusted with white paste. This could cut short the effective life of my bra! I wear all colors of bra and none of them have ever been stained by this lotion.

The ingredients are pretty straightforward and I will include them in the spirit of full disclosure: Water (Aqua), Tapioca Starch Isopropyl Palmitate, Tocopheryl Acetate, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Acrylates/C10-30 Alkyl Acrylate, Crosspolmer, Disodium EDTA, Fragrance (Parfum), Sodium Hydroxide, Colloidal Silver
This way if you have an allergy concern you don't need to flip back to the product page to check that out!
The product is in a black plastic tube that rests on it's lid so the product is always ready to use, no need to shake it down. The label is fairly discreet; though it does say Happy Hooters. The bottle is recyclable.
I tend to apply this just after I get out of the shower. The bottle states you should use a quarter sized amount but I found that to be excessive for my tastes.
The lotion doesn't feel greasy, or slick after you rub it in. It doesn't completely become powder dry either but leaves a nice surface that feels clean.
After a shower and a wash with feminine soap the lotion is completely gone and I haven't noticed any buildup on my skin. This product could sting broken or irritated skin, but I haven't had any problems with irritation from this product, itself.
Follow-up commentary
Yes folks, I still have happy Hooters! I love the way it drys up the sweat and keeps my stupidly sensitive skin from breaking out and hurting in hot weather. The smell is amazing and I get people constantly asking what perfume I am wearing. I just say it's my natural fragrance....
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My Happy Hooters tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Can be worn under clothing
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Breasts
  • Gracie
    Nice review! Such an interesting product! Do your guys notice an odd taste when kissing your skin?
  • Rosen Rot
    Thank you for the insight!
  • Anjulie
    Great review!
  • JackNit
    Thanks for the review
  • sXeVegan90
    The pretty little dewy drops comment got me. Thank you for the review!
Discussion Posts Last Update
Body wash just for the boobies? That will look good in my shower 1
Would I like Happy Hooters? 20
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