Happy Hooters - female intimate lotion by Doc Johnson - review by jasminedarling

Very Happy Hooters!

Happy Hooters is a wonder product for big and small breasted women, but it is not just limited to your breasts! It keeps your skin refreshingly dry while moisturizing it, leaving a velvety finish behind with the lightest, loveliest scent. It is a fantastic product to keep in your lotion collection!
Keeps your skin dry while staying moisturized
Pleasant scent
Long lasting
Finish on bottle can get scratched in shipment.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


Doc Johnson's "Happy Hooters" is a lotion that is designed to keep your tatas super fresh, and it does just that!

If you live in a state that harbors humidity, this product is a must have for you!
Even if you don't, whether you're running around shopping, or sitting at work all day, bras can be constricting and can cause perspiration on, around, and between your breasts.
This is where Happy Hooters comes in.
You just apply it like a normal lotion after a shower, or before putting your bra on, and voila!
You have breasts that stay dry all day, feel very soft, and have a lovely, light musky scent.
If you're worried about me saying musky, do not fear. It's a very light, womanly musk; a very enjoyable scent that has a hint of sweet.

Happy Hooters can be used almost anywhere on your body (do not apply vaginally) and is not limited to only your breasts.

Texture / Consistency / Thickness / Viscosity

The specifics of Happy Hooters is as follows: Water (Aqua), Tapioca Starch Isopropyl Palmitate, Tocopheryl Acetate, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice, Acrylates/C10-30 Alkyl Acrylate, Crosspolmer, Disodium EDTA, Fragrance (Parfum), Sodium Hydroxide, Colloidal Silver.

However, in simpler terms- the lotion is white, and it is definitely more of a lotion than a cream. It is not very thick. I did notice that after it was applied, it had a very slight sparkle to it. A shimmer.
It gives your skin almost a velvet feel, and it comes out of the bottle very easily.
It is not runny, so you don't have to worry about it getting everywhere.
Happy Hooters has never left me feeling greasy, or anything unpleasant.
    • Creamy
    • Smooth
    • Velvety

Taste / Aroma

I certainly did not taste Happy Hooters (and I recommend you do not as well).
The scent is very hard to convey, but it is extremely pleasant. I've smelled this particular scent somewhere before but can't quite put my finger on it.
It is kind of lightly musky with a sweetness.
It has no floral or fruity tones to it, so it is not overly feminine, nor is the scent strong so it will not interfere with any perfume or spray you might have.
I am very sensitive to smells and get headaches easily when I have a scent on my body. I was pleased to find that this did not cause a headache for me.
    • Light smell
    • Smells good


Happy Hooters does an amazing job! For a long time, as well.

I've had a flu this week, so my body temperature has been raised, so it was Happy Hooters time to shine.
It lasts all day through work, even when you've got your push-up bra on that pushes your breasts together and can cause a bit of moisture.
One day I came home and fell asleep pretty much instantly and did not wake up until the next morning when I had to go to work. It was still working when I woke up, and it lasted all day through the second day.

In short, it will not stop working until you wash it off.
    • Absorbs into skin nicely
    • Feels natural
    • Long lasting


The bottles comes as that - just a bottle.

I love that the expiration date is clearly printed on the bottle in a contrasted color area.
My concern was that the bottle features a velvety finish, which I love personally, but being shipped with 3 other products, and the bottle not being placed in a bag caused a bit of scratching to the finish. It looks a bit unsightly if you're someone who pays much attention to that as myself.
Then again, it is just a bottle of lotion!
I tried to show as best as I can the seeming scratches in the photo of the front of the bottle.

The bottle will not leak in shipping unless extreme conditions present themselves. A topper/seal is placed on the bottle opening, so you will need to unscrew the flip cap portion to remove it before you can squeeze any lotion out.

    • Can be opened with one hand
    • Does not leak
    • Minimal

Personal comments

As a girl with 38DD breasts, living in a state that does have humidity, and only wearing push-up bras, I am VERY prone to have moisture around, under, and in between my breasts. Happy Hooters has made a world of difference for me. I am a Happy Camper!
Follow-up commentary
This is still fantastic! Still use it daily and have had no negative words to say about it. I recommend it to everyone I know.
This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • SMichelle SMichelle
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  • Mamastoys
    Thanks for the review. I have this on my wishlist and am going to have to get some soon.
  • Harpina is gone
    Great review! I think I might have to try this
  • mpfm
    Thanks for the review. My tatas need this.
  • charletnarouh
  • Anjulie
    Great review!
  • puglove
    Thanks for the review!
  • Desirae Alisia Weatherby
    hmm just might try this.
  • BrittaniMaree
    Thank for your review
  • GONE!
    Thanks for the review!
  • SecretKinksters
    Great review!
  • RedKyuubi
  • Upyourreviews
    Thanks for sharing!
  • Archery
    Great review, thanks!
  • ginnyluvspotter
    Thanks for the review!
  • JackNit
    Very helpful thanks
  • GingerSpice
    Nice review thanks!
  • sXeVegan90
    Thank you for the review!
Discussion Posts Last Update
Body wash just for the boobies? That will look good in my shower 1
Would I like Happy Hooters? 20
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