Uma - luxury g-spot vibrator discontinued by Je Joue - review by Chirple

Je Joue's Uma is a beautifully designed g-spot vibrator that gives deep and rumbly vibrations wherever she's applied. The g-spot curve and length works pretty nicely for self-back and body massage as well, though the shape of her head doesn't provide the most focused vibrations when used for clitoral stimulation. Uma could be used anally, but lacks a dramatic flare and I would judge her to be only moderately safe for this use.

Uma is made of 100% silicone, latex and phthalates-free. Je Joue's silicone is the nicest I have ever touched - it's velvety and delicious, with basically no drag and I've never had a problem with these toys collecting dust or lint. There is a very, very faint smell if I put her right up against my nose, but completely undetectable otherwise. She doesn't taste like anything either, in case you wanted to know.

On an aesthetic note, the colors of Je Joue's silicone are lovely. The lavender is light and delicate and the purple is a great matte velvet aubergine.

Uma is a rigid toy. Like the MiMi, Uma's silicone is a "skin" over a hard base. This toy does not have a significant amount of "squish" or give, so is rather more intense going in than a toy that is a softer, squishier 100% silicone throughout.

This vibrator's design is that of minimalistic beauty and is about as discreet as an elongated vibrator can get. The Je Joue name and logo are imprinted on the bottom bulb of the toy, and as a cute touch the red "on" light is now a little heart shape instead of an indistinct sphere. The toy does have a seam, but I can barely detect it. I cannot feel it at all and would not have noticed it if I weren't looking at it closely enough to see the very slight difference in color. The seam runs all the way around the toy, on the sides.



She's shaped like a very elongated and twisted peanut, she's about 8" long with around 4" until her narrowest point. Her head is 1.5" at the widest which is about 1" from the tip. It's a comfortable curve, but more spherical than tapering. After the widest point, she tapers to her narrow waist of 3/4". From there, she bulges out into the part meant to be held in the hand reaching 2" wide at 2.5" down from the waist. This base bulb is a flattened shape unlike the head's more circular cross-section. The very bottom has a nice curve and contains the rounded oval plastic section with the three buttons, "+", "~", and "-".

She's rather small in size, a bit large for a smaller purse but fine in a tote bag or larger luggage. Her box is slim and can easily fit in a dresser drawer or under the bed.

The controls do not protrude very much and are nearly flush with the surrounding plastic area. They are, however, the slightest bit more raised than the buttons on my MiMi. These controls cannot be locked, but take a good deal of pressure to push, so I wouldn't worry about them being accidentally activated as long as she's in her box or has a bit of padding around her. The buttons take a little time to "break in", but I found them to be a slight improvement over the MiMi (I don't have any trouble with MiMi, but I know many people dislike the fairly hard to push buttons). When I press the buttons, I can hear a slight clicking noise that I don't hear with the MiMi, too.

The Uma's shape fits very nicely into the hand and there are tons of comfortable ways to hold her. You can hold her as an extension of your index finger or grip around the base bulb like a fist. I do wish this base bulb were a little bit longer. I have small hands and I found the size made it a little awkward to press the buttons while in use without changing to a less comfortable hand position.

Like most of Je Joue's powered toys, the Uma charges via a magnetic connection with her function buttons. The plug is an improvement from the MiMi and now takes up only one outlet (yey!). The plugs connector is color-coordinated to the toy and there's now a light on the base of the plug to show it's receiving power (although this is not a charge indicator that I can tell). When charging, the red heart-light will pulsate, and shine steady when finished.

The magnets are still a little finicky, I like to have the Uma resting in the box to charge her so that she won't roll around or get bumped. If the charger is bumped, the connection will be spotty and you'll hear a faint high-pitched screeching noise. I wish they would mold the power cord magnets to fit more snugly over the +/- shapes for a more secure connection. It's still a very nice and convenient charging system, just a bit spotty if shifted.

With Uma, Je Joue has added a third button so that you have in total "+", "-" and the new "~" button.



The "+" and "-" buttons cycle through 5 levels of vibration and the internal light with flicker when you've activated a button. I really like this system, so that I'm not forced to go through all the levels if I just want to take the vibrations down a notch for a moment. On the buttons, the + symbol is raised and the - is indented which I find helps me distinguish them while in use without having to look.

The new button, the "~" button cycles through 7 vibration patterns. I will say, this button is much harder to press than the + and - buttons. I have no trouble with those, but the ~ button is very small and totally flush with the toy, save the raised "~" symbol. It does make a click noise when you press it and I can get used to it, but it takes a good deal of pressure to get it to go. I do not have long nails myself, but I see how people who do could find these buttons more aggravating.

The Uma is very quiet. The first setting is barely detectable under a blanket and the loudest would not be heard through a closed door. It's a warm, low hum that will be much more muffled if she's inserted.

Her vibrations are deep and strong, with her motor located in the head for great, strong sensations. The first vibration setting is like the MiMi's second. It's very light for me but not completely "is it even on?". The vibrations travel more intensely when used internally as well and even the first level is very nice for that use.

The patterns are as follows. 1, a fairly quick pulse. 2, a slower purring pulse. 3, the same as two but a bit faster. 4, a VERY rapid, sharp pulse. 5, a slightly less rapid, but still sharp pulse. 6, a sharp purr that works up to full power, halts and starts over. The straight vibration counts as one of the 7 functions, so there are only 6 actual patterns. They're nice for warming up, and the ability to change their intensity is a very welcome edition.

How strong is she? Eh. She's a little stronger than the MiMi. If MiMi is not strong enough for you externally, the Uma is not going to skyrocket you to an orgasm. The difference is slight. In no way does she compare to a wand for sheer power. My best comparison is that the MiMi and Uma on high are a lot like the Pocket Fairy on low, but they cannot touch the power of even that small toy on high. However, Uma's vibrations are much deeper and not buzzy and this makes for a very wonderful experience internally.

The Uma is not super-amazing strong, but the deep vibrations are a real treat internally and I've come to feel this makes up for her lack of raw power.

Uma is made of 100% silicone and should be used with a water-based lubricant, not a silicone one as it can cause her skin to degrade.

Uma can be cleaned with soap and water, and the fact she's waterproof makes this very easy. It is also safe to wipe her down with a 10% bleach solution or isopropyl alcohol, as long as you make sure to very thoroughly rinse it off before use. While silicone itself can be boiled, I wouldn't risk it in this case due to her inner electrical workings.

The box she comes with is wonderful for storage, but you could just as easily keep her in a sock, plastic bag or a nice toy bag. Just make sure to keep her in a cool, dark and dry area. Be careful of keeping her away from sharp objects and edges, as her silicone skin could be punctured and rip.

So pretty!

The external box is mostly purple and has repeating Je Joue logos in purple tones on it, with the company name and logo again in White over them. The two sides are the same, focusing on the phrase "Stimulate More". There's a picture of the Uma on the bottom. So, no, not discreet.

The inner box is wrapped in plastic. The box itself is near black with the company name and logo imprinted in white. Although it's made of cardboard, I cannot stress enough that it's absolutely lovely. Je Joue knows how to make awesome packaging. It's perfect for a gift and totally discreet.



The twist-tie that secures the charger cord is even a pretty, luxurious twist-tie.

You open this box and the Uma is resting on a raised plastic and cardboard base. There's a flap that opens on the right, via ribbon loop. Inside is the manual and charger. This design is actually very convenient for storage, unlike the MiMi where you have to take the whole box thing apart to access the charger storage. Now that I have more rechargeable toys, though, I purchased a surge protector and keep them plugged into that (and unplug that when they're done charging). Just an idea!

Just like the MiMi, the Uma is a great "first toy". She's a beautifully curved quality vibrator that's easy to use and shouldn't be intimidating to a newcomer.

If you want deep, rumbly vibrations just a bit stronger than the MiMi and is a g-spot toy, this one's for you - just don't expect her to be any stronger than that.

This toy and I had a rocky start together, though it's not entirely Uma's fault.

Opening the package, one of the first things I noticed was that the external box said "5 vibration levels". I open things up and the manual says 7, like I had expected. Turn her on, press the buttons - it's only 5. To me, this was a bit of a letdown. I was holding her side-by side with the MiMi and although the Uma was a bit stronger in power, I was disappointed when I hit the + button expecting to ramp it up another notch or two.

I really don't know what's going on with the discrepancy between 5 and 7 power levels. The box and manual say two different things, and Je Joue's website agrees with the manual. I wonder if they had planned on 7 but did not implement it.

For clitoral use, the MiMi wins for me, hands-down. I find the shape of the MiMi easier to hold and direct for that purpose, and MiMi has a more varied and directed tip. The Uma's tip is more rounded, like a half-sphere and isn't directed enough for me, the bit more power that the Uma has is difficult for me to detect and doesn't make a difference for me for clitoral use.


But, what Uma does better than MiMi is go inside you. MiMi can't do that.


My experience here is not going to be typical, so you will have to take it for what it is.

I have a super-resilient hymen and cannot get the Uma all the way inside me. It's been painful and uncomfortable, but with lots of water-based lubricant I've made some progress. It's my hope to be able to use her as intended by the time I write a follow-up, maybe I'll even find my g-spot!

If you've never stretched or torn your hymen, Uma might be a challenge for you. I've tried softer toys of a similar size, and Uma has made much more progress much faster. Being able to turn the vibrations on or off helps massage and ease the pain and discomfort. The deep, rumbly vibrations are definitely nice when conducted inside and feel much stronger than externally, even only level two feels great.

If yours is intact and you have no interest in changing that, you might be better off looking at a slimmer toy. Uma is by no means big, but she's more than three of my fingers.