Uma...Umake...Umakeme...Umakemecum...Umakemecumplete...Umakemecumpletely miserable!!!!

With over 20 other reviews on the Uma, I switched my review up a bit and made it mine--ALL MINE!! This whole review is my personal and singular perspective and experiences on this item. There are few details that are repeated on every single review and I did highlight the less reviewed aspects of the Uma as well as a bit more details on my experiences--still an R rated review, I was tactful!!
Published:
Pros
Deep and rumbly vibrations.
Interactive patterns w/ 2 motors.
Sensually soft silicone.
Cons
Vibrations can be too rumbly/deep.
Can't use while charging.
Defective, waiting for replacement.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review

Use

Since Je Joue's Uma Vibrator has 22 reviews, I am going to write this review a touch different normal. I am going to let you guys know how my hubby and I used this and will not state the other obvious or personal uses. I also shortened some of the repetitive detailing and focused on the not-so-reviewed aspects of this item.

Uma was my husband's best friend after he slipped a disc in his back. The smaller, rounded tip was perfect for gradual pressure increases along each side of his spine and the deep, rumbly vibrations allowed his muscles to loosen up enough to manipulate the disc back in place. Of course, this did take over a week to accomplish, but it sure beat a chiropractor bill!! He has told me, however, that the same deep, rumbly vibrations he loved for his back were just too doggone much for his sexual stimulation--even on low!

I love using the Uma as a very precise G-spot targeting vibrator. This will get me going in no time, and before I know what hit me---I have squirted everywhere!! Strangely enough, while this feels good clitorally, and I will orgasm from the stimulation, the Uma just is not a favorite of minbe. I do not know what the issue is, but she did not shine for me in that area. I love it when my husband lightly runs the Uma up and down the inside of my arms, the back of my knees and along my spine. Talk about goosebumps and shivers---the really good ones, of course!! When he finishes with teasing me in that manner, I have all but had an amazingly erotic and tingly body orgasm. It takes about 1 touch of his fingers on my clitoris to shoot me to the moon. I am done, over, finished, kaput!! But what a way to go!!
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Sensory play
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly

Material / Texture

Uma is made from ABS plastic and has a high grade, medical silicone coating that has a soft, smooth and velvety brushed finish. Uma is not flexible in any way. This has a very sensual and erotic drag against your skin and is enhanced with water based lubes. I picked the light lavender colored Uma and there is no unevenness in coloring, thickness or any visible seams. I am very impressed with the quality control at Je Joue.

This is a wonderful texture that can be enjoyed by all users; beginners to advanced. If I would have started wit a high quality product like the Uma when I first tried toys, I would have had a much better and more positive outlook on bringing toys into the bedroom. Instead, I picked the under $25.00 items and was extremely disappointed most of the time. I honestly thought I struck gold with the little Pocket Rockets---until I met Eden Fantasys.
    • Not porous at all
    • Rigid
    • Velvety

Design / Shape / Size

Uma looks like a misshapen, miniature bowling pin that was hit by a full size, 16 lb. bowling ball. It has a rounded, circular, curve in the middle when looked at from the side. It has a round tip that goes down 3", and is 1 1/2" diameter, before narrowing into a 1" neck with a 1" diameter. The neck widens out to 2" wide by 1" deep, slightly flattened base that also has a rounded bottom. It is 7 1/2" long. This luxury, high-end vibrator is small, but mighty.

I love the shape, it works perfectly for G-spot and clitoral stimulation. The power was deep and rumbly, the patterns very well designed and the material is velvety and sensual. The buttons leave a lot to be desired, however. If I would have believed the other reviewers when they were describing the difficulty--I would have passed. I have a severe form of Rheumatoid Arthritis and the pressure needed to work the buttons really adds a lot of strain to my damaged joints.
    • Beginner
    • Ergonomic
    • Partner play

Functions / Performance / Controls

There are 2 extruded, silver buttons on the very bottom of the Uma. The + button will turn it on if held in for 3 seconds. It also increases the speed and power of the vibrations. The negative button will slow the speed and power down, and if held in for 3 seconds will turn the vibrator off.

In between those two silver buttons, there is a small, plastic button. This controls the patterns. Push the button in to change your pattern. Pushing in on the + or - button will change it back to a steady vibration. You do have to push pretty hard with your finger to make any of the buttons work. This is not good for those with knuckle and joint issues.

Uma has a motor in the tip and another part way down the shaft. These motors do interact and work together, they are programmed to do this and it definitely adds stimulation. However, after about 96 non-consecutive hours, the vibrations weakened permanently and then my rear motor ceased working after about another 5 hours of non-consecutive use. I am awaiting my replacement!!

There is no aroma or taste to Uma's material and she is whisper quiet. In my case--yet another good girl gone horribly wrong. This is a perfect toy for those with a low noise level tolerance, in roommate situations, traveling or for water play.
    • Discreet sound
    • Long lasting power
    • Lots of variety in function

Care and Maintenance

Carefully wash Uma in warm, soapy water and rinse thoroughly. Either dry it with a chamois cloth or let it air dry. This material is a huge lint and hair magnet, it might have a couple bunnies on it as well--dust bunnies, that is.

Do NOT sanitize this vibrator by placing it in a microwave, dishwasher or chemical solution. It will damage the brushed silicone finish. Use a toy cleaner instead. I recommend Zero Tolerance's Foaming Masturbator Cleaner.

Store it in either the original packaging or the soft pouch that it came with. It is safe to travel with if left in the pouch, however do not forget the charger and remember to turn the travel lock on. Uma is an obvious vibrator, so make sure you keep her in a peek safe spot.

Use only water based lubes, do not store it with other silicone or soft materials. This will damage the silicone and make your toy unusable. I also know that silicone will pick up colors from other toys that are touching the material. Unless you do not mind discolored, ugly and unsafe looking toys--keep her separated!!
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

The packaging is inside thin, plastic shrink wrap. Once you open this, you get down to the boxes. The first box is a thin, cardboard outer shell for the discreet and classy storage box. This cardboard outer box is not discreet. If you are giving this as a gift, you might want to remove it and throw it away. I am tossing this as soon as the warranty has expired. The top and sides are covered in three shades of pastel lavender logos. The writing on all five areas is white.

The top of the box has the name "Je Joue" and their logo. One one end flap of the box, there is a small logo, the name "Je Joue" and Uma. The other end flap has four symbols representing safety and information and written explanations under it in six separate languages. The two long sides have the vibrator's name, tag line and a short, descriptive explanation of the Uma; also in six languages. The bottom is white and has the logo, "Je Joue", "Stimulate More" in lavender on one side and a picture of the Uma on the other.

The inner storage box is discreet, classy and very tasteful. It is made of a black, cloth covered sturdy cardboard. It has a small logo and "Je Joue" screened onto the top, it does look decorative and tactful. The box measures 11 5/8" long by 2 1/2" wide and 2 3/4" tall.

Place your fingers in the finger holds on the bottom of the sides and pull the lid up. Uma is laying inside, on a formed plastic, raised, platform. On one end, there is a lid that is flush with the edge of the box. Pull up on the ribbon tab and you will access the cord and instruction manual. This is a very nice storage area that will also hold a small 1 ounce trial sized lube for traveling.
    • Discreet looking packaging
    • Good for storage
    • Would make a nice gift

Personal comments

These pictures are linked statically from the Je Joue web site.

Demonstrates the three control buttons clearly.



Demonstrates side and bottom views of the shape.



Picture of proper charging.



[img|

[img|
Follow-up commentary
Uma is a nicely powerful and user friendly shaped vibrator. A word of caution--do not use it until it gets warm!! Overheating the Uma will definitely shorten her lifespan. This is what happened with mine and I have to admit I am a bit more cautious now!!

When you can feel her start to heat up a bit, turn it off and let it cool down. Otherwise you will short out a motor and will lose your new friend to the dangers of overuse. After she cools down, you are free to use her again. I have gotten into a 20 minute rotation so I do not burn my new one out!!
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

EdenFantasys Review Program

  • Get Free Toys
  • Enjoy Special Deals
Become a Reviewer
Comments
Subscribe to comments
  • Contributor: tortilla
    love your review title - and thanks for the review
  • Contributor: xLovingYoux
    Thanx
  • Contributor: amazon
    Nice review
  • Contributor: MALVINA
    Thank you for the review
  • Contributor: PassionCpl
    Excellent review, thanks
  • Contributor: Septimus
    Great review, thanks for sharing!
  • Contributor: ashboo32
    thanks!
  • Contributor: sweet*taste
    thanx good stuff
  • Contributor: Martiniman
    Great review, thanks!
  • Contributor: Qozt
    Thank you!
  • Contributor: JoshJosh123
    Great review, thanks!
Forum
Discussion Posts Last Update
Uma -vs- Mona 8
Uma vs Gigi 3
Ever Wonder What Uma would look like naked? (Images) 26
Je Joue releases the Uma! 59
Durability 3
Uma buttons 19
Unsteady vibrations 1
Thank you for viewing Uma – luxury g-spot vibrator discontinued review page!