Uma Zooma!

Je Joue's Uma is a lovely addition to their luxury vibrator line. It has just the right amount of curve for g-spotting while the silicone covering is silky smooth and pleasing to the touch. With 5 power levels and 7 vibration patterns, there's something for everyone to enjoy. The Uma also employs the new third button that allows you to change the vibration power while cycling through the patterns. This toy is also strong enough to use externally. Though this toy does taper down to a narrow neck before widening at the base where it is operated from, I would suggest only those very experienced with anal play to use it as such (if at all).

The Uma is coated in silicone, which is hypo-allergenic, non-porous, latex and phthalates free as well as a 10 on Eden's material safety scale. The toy is very smooth and silky with very little drag. There is no taste to the toy and the only smell is a faint "new silicone toy" scent that will go away after a few washes. The Uma doesn't appear to hold onto smells either. There is no texture to the toy other than the small imprint of Je Joue's name and logo in the silicone (which can barely be felt by hand). On the bottom is a small plastic oval where the metal buttons are, but this is not the end that comes in contact with the body. There is the very faintest hint of a seam on the bottom of my Uma which I cannot feel. It looks like the makers did a very good job of cleaning it up to where I can barely see it. The toy is also very firm and rigid; it cannot be bent or flexed at all.

The Uma definitely resembles a MiMi that grew a tail. The operating end is very similar to the MiMi, albeit more puffed up and less wide. Imagine inserting a straw into the MiMi and blowing it up a bit to puff it out. After the MiMi-like end, the toy tapers to a narrow neck before widening out for the g-spotting part. The tail or g-spot end has a nice curve and rounded head that's not entirely filling, but it hits the spot. The Uma is not completely discreet; it does have a "sex toy" look to it. But it is small enough to hide easily and is suitable for travel.

The measurements for the Uma are:
Length: 7"
Insertable Length: 5"
Circumference:
-Widest part of base: 5 1/4"
-Narrow neck: 3"
-Widest part of tip: 4 1/2"
Diameter:
-Widest part of base: 1 3/4"
-Narrow neck: 7/8"
-Widest part of tip: 1 1/2"

The Uma is easy to operate in theory, though the buttons are very hard to push in reality. There are three buttons on the base: +, -, and the new ~ pattern "button". The pattern "button" is more of a "soft spot" on the base that is flush with the toy and must be firmly pressed in to activate (though it does produce a satisfying "click" sound to let you know it was in fact pushed). To turn on, hold the + button for 3 seconds; to turn off, hold the - button for 3 seconds. To increase or decrease the power, click the + or - buttons respectively. The ~ button allows you to cycle through the 7 pattern modes while the + and - buttons allow you to control their intensity. The Uma does not have a memory, so it will always start with the lowest setting on the steady vibration mode. This also has a red light in the base that lights up during use. It glows steadily but will blink when any of the buttons are pushed (letting you know that you have in fact succeeded in properly pressing them).

The vibrations can be felt through the entire toy, though they are more intense at the tip. Power-wise, the Uma is comparable to the MiMi, though I honestly think it is just the slightest bit stronger. Personally, I find the Uma to be a bit quieter than the MiMi as well. The sound can be muffled and probably overlooked by someone in the same room (especially when inserted), and this cannot be heard through a closed door even on the highest setting. There is a slight whine from the digital motor, but it is not annoying or very loud.

The Uma is charged magnetically with the included color-coded charging cord. The magnet is strong enough to hold onto the toy via the + and - buttons while dangling and the Uma's red light blinks until fully charged. The light will glow steady when the toy is completely charged. The actual plug on the toy also has a bright blue light on it as well. The booklet states that 2 hours of charging time should allow you 2 hours of play, though I disagree with this (explained below in "Experience" section).

The functions for the Uma are:
1-5: starting at the lowest power and steadily increasing to the highest
Pattern modes:
1: steady vibration
2: a quick "throbbing" or rolling like pulse from low to high, low to high
3. oscillating or roller-coaster
4: a rolling throbbing with a brief pause in between
5: short, fast pulses
6: throbbing pulses that remind me of quick cricket chirps in rhythm
7: longer throbbing pulses with a brief pause in between

The Uma is completely waterproof, but the booklet advises against prolonged submersion and extreme water temperatures (hot or cold). I have not personally used my Uma in the shower or tub because my living situation does not afford me such privacy.

Caring for the Uma is easy. Wash with mild soap and water, toy cleaner or wipes, or sterilize with a 10% bleach solution or alcohol. Because this is an electronic toy, do not boil or place in the dishwasher. Also only use water-based lube with the Uma and keep it away from other toy materials (especially silicone and jelly) so as to prevent damage to the silicone. This is also a little bit of a lint/hair magnet. I found it was better to blow the debris off rather than trying to brush it off because brushing just pushed it around/away instead of removing it.

This toy does not come with a storage pouch, but one can easily be made or purchased. The packaging is also suitable for storage.

As with all of Je Joue's other products, the packaging is just fantastic! The outer cardboard box is color-coded to match the color of the toy. One side has "JE JOUE" and their symbol printed on it, the opposite side has a picture of the toy, Je Joue's name and "Stimulate More". The other two sides have a brief paragraph about the toy in English and several other languages. The outer box is not very discreet, but the inner box is. It is long and black with only the words "JE JOUE" and their logo printed on top. If one did not know that this box contained a vibrator, they would never guess such. Lifting the top lid off the box, you will find the Uma sitting inside on top of a slight groove meant to keep it in place. Next to the toy is a small lid that lifts open to reveal the booklet and charging cord. The information booklet appears very long, but it contains several languages and the English portion is only a few pages long.

The packaging would be wonderful for gift giving or storage. I personally prefer to keep my Uma in a handmade drawstring pouch, but I still can't bring myself to toss the packaging because it is so nice.

Oh Uma, what isn't there to love about you? You're waterproof, rechargeable, powerful, quiet, so silky smooth and pretty! If only your buttons didn't suck big time. I did expect them to be a bit of a pain since many other reviewers mentioned it, but I wasn't prepared for how difficult they truly are. I must note that I have had absolutely no problems with MiMi's buttons. None at all. But Uma's buttons, I can barely press. Forget about using the ~ pattern button while inserted. I found that almost impossible. I really have to press down hard on it while looking directly at it to get it to work. Hopefully the + and - buttons will loosen up and become easier to press after some time, but I don't see that happening with the pattern button. I honestly would have preferred just the 2 button system on it, that is how much I hate that ~ pattern button.

As for the actual toy itself? I can't really complain. It's a nice g-spotting toy that works well and is quite powerful to get the job done against my clit as well (though I honestly wish it had just one more power option as I do with the MiMi). The vibrations are strong and only produced a slight "I gotta poop" feeling when inserted and on the highest power level. Though that feeling did increase if I pushed the toy down toward the back of my vagina (which I wasn't going to do all the time since it takes it away from my g-spot). I also enjoyed using the toy internally while it wasn't vibrating, but I prefer a longer handled toy for such play.

Besides the buttons, the other problem I have with this toy is its battery life. The first charge took 2 hours and I expected to get moderate play out of it since I usually use my toys on their highest setting. My first time using it, it was on high for about 10 minutes with brief pattern play. The second time I turned it on, I was at first only trying to compare its strength to that of the MiMi's. After a minute, it just shut off. I turned it back on and used it on the highest setting with brief pattern play for about 10 minutes, if that. The third time, I turned it on and left it on the lowest setting so I could figure out what the patterns were. It shut off in less than a minute. I turned it back on and within a minute, it had shut itself back off. I attached the charger and the light glowed steady after 40 minutes of charging.

I would really love to give this toy 5 stars, but I can't. It is beautiful, soft, powerful, etc... but with those horrible buttons and short play time, I can only give this 3.5 stars (though I have to round down since you can't actually give things half stars). I would recommend this toy to others, just be wary of its flaws.