Uma - sex toy by Je Joue - review by oneeyedoctopus

My new favorite toy (I can easily forgive it for having stupid buttons)

This is my new favorite toy. Everything I love about it easily overwhelms the things I don't care for. I love its shape, size, and power. I love its smooth silky feel. I love the way the handle fits so comfortably in my hand. The buttons are not so hot but I still could scarcely love this toy more.
Rechargeable, Waterproof, Powerful, Stimulating shape
The buttons, Temperamental motor doesn't always provide steady vibrations
Rating by reviewer:
useful review


This toy is powerful and well-formed. I use it for both clitoral and g-spot stimulation with great success. I don't plan on ever using it anally as I have other toys better suited for that task.

It has brought me to some delicious orgasms but isn't very good for the early stages of arousal. It's too powerful and large. Even on the lowest setting it feels rough on my lady bits if they haven't been properly primed; I like to warm up with my smaller, gentler Liv.

I feel this toy is too strong, too big, and too expensive to recommend as a first vibrator.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • On a bed only
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • G-spot

Material / Texture

It's made of 100% food grade silicone so very hygienic. It is smooth, firm, and silky very much like the Liv. There are no bumbs or ridges and it is absolutely seamless. I love the way it feels gliding along my skin.
    • Not porous at all
    • Rigid
    • Smooth

Design / Shape / Size

This is the most powerful vibrator I own. Which is not to say that it is the most powerful in existence. I have several other vibrators but the legendary Hitachi is not among them so I'm not sure how it compares. The vibrations are concentrated in the end of the toy and travel well down most of the shaft. They are almost completely dissipated by the time they reach the handle.

The shape of this toy is fantastic. The handle fits comfortably in my hand. The end of the shaft is about 1 3/8" at it's widest point and continuously tapers down to about 7/8" before flaring out into a wide generous handle. The initial thickness of the shaft and the curve of the toy allow for some delightful g-spot stimulation. It can also be used externally for some relatively broad clitoral stimulation. The toy is completely rigid, which is something I need in order to apply enough pressure.

As far as discretion, it doesn't look like a penis, but I wouldn't mistake it for anything but a vibrator. It's fairly large and the buttons don't lock (though I would be very surprised if it turned on accidentally), but that's not going to stop me taking it anywhere I want.
    • Ergonomic

Functions / Performance / Controls

The first time I used this toy I found the buttons very frustrating. They are stiff and hard to press. I felt silly for dismissing this as an issue when I read the reviews before purchasing it. But they do impact the performance of the toy. Now that I've gotten used to them a little bit, they don't bother me so much and I don't think they significantly detract from my enjoyment.

There are three buttons. To turn the toy on you must hold the + button for three seconds. You use the + and - buttons to move among 5 intensity settings. To turn it off you hold the - button for 3 seconds regardless of the intensity. Depending on what interruptions you can expect to encounter during your play 3 seconds can be an embarrassingly long time. I think I'd much prefer a quick easy off. Between these two buttons is the pattern button, which scrolls through 7 patterns of vibration (including steady) which can be used on any intensity. I don't like any of the fancy patterns, but the way the controls are set up keeps them out of my way. This is one advantage of these buttons: you won't hit them by accident.

One thing worth saying about the steady vibration mode is that it isn't perfectly steady. It tends to vary when pressure is applied. It also seems to have some variation simply whenever it feels like it. And last time it shut off inexplicably.

The toy is a little louder than my other vibrators but this makes sense because it's also more powerful. And I am willing to make some trades in this area. It's still not very loud. I can hear it under my covers but certainly not beyond the closed door.

It's a rechargeable and uses a neat little magnetic charger. When the battery died sometime during the second or third time I used it I realized the battery life wasn't as long as my other vibrators. It lasts for 1.5 hours of steady vibrations on the highest setting (but definitely becomes weaker as it is dying). It was noticeably warm after 20 minutes but never became hot. Charging also takes less than 2 hours.

I took it in the shower and of course cleaned it. It is indeed completely waterproof.
    • Multiple settings
    • Powerful
    • Rechargeable

Care and Maintenance

Cleaning is very easy because it's waterproof. You can wash the whole thing with soap and water without needing to worry about avoiding controls or charging ports. (The latter of which it doesn't even have thanks to the magnetic charging.)

I store it sitting in plain view on my bedside table. It collects some dust there but I wash it before I use it as well as after. If I ever expected any visitors in my bedroom I'd probably put it in the drawer.

Silicone is not friendly with other silicone so you can't use silicone lubes with this toy and you shouldn't store it next to other silicone toys.
    • Easy to clean
Follow-up commentary
I really liked it and expected something this expensive to last a long time. But it failed within the first two weeks and would no longer turn on. The replacement lasted an even shorter amount of time. I sent the second one back for a refund.

Extremely disappointed.
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This review was edited by
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Do you like this review?
  • Martiniman
    Great review, thanks!
  • ashboo32
  • chicmichiw
    I never had a problem with Je Joue buttons! Thanks, Uma's definitely on my wishlist now
  • Cindi025
    Thanks for the review!
  • Kitka
    Thanks for sharing your review with us!
  • Pumpk1nPatch
    Wow, I can't believe it only lasted that amount of time! Thanks for your review.
  • eri86
    Thanks for taking the time to write about and share your experience.
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