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BDSM—kink—fetish: what are they? How does one do it? And, most importantly, who’s doing it? The answer might just be staring back at you in the mirror.

  • Beginning in Bondage

    Restraining your partner can be fun, bonding and loving, and it can be as much or as little drama, dogma and homework as you like. There are sources on the internet that make it seem impossibly complicated, incredibly specific and terribly difficult. It doesn't have to be. Sometimes it starts with a single tie.

  • BDSM 101—Understanding Masochism

    Today I want to look at masochism and help those who are not masochists potentially understand why someone might enjoy pain.

  • Kink: A History

    Let's discuss the history of kink, as well as some ways that you can implement some kinky practices into your own life.

  • BDSM 101—Facesitting

    Today’s article is going to focus on an activity called facesitting. We are going to learn what it is, how to do it, why people like it, and some safety concerning it.

  • How to Submit: A Basic Guide

    Submission is all the craze now, ever since [italic| Fifty Shades of Grey] hit the shelves last year. But what many people don't know is how to submit. Submission is so much more than being tied up and being spanked. Submission is, simply put, yielding to another, but sometimes that’s harder than it appears.

  • Play Party Guidelines

    BDSM play parties can be extremely fun. I highly suggest learning a little about how to respect yourself and others, in a scene, before you attend your first party.

  • BDSM 101: Erotic Asphyxiation

    Today’s guide is going to discuss erotic asphyxiation, what it is, and the major safety concerns it has.

  • Why are kinky people kinky?

    I'm interested in why BDSM appeals to some people and not others. There isn’t any conclusive reason available but I consider theories related to pathology, genetics, and early development.

  • He can beat me, but I'm not a masochist.

    Roles, we are all assigned them. Even when we are playing with kink and fantasy, it still seems that we end up in roles that are assigned to us. I love my kink, and I love my dynamic. I let my Dom beat me until I am black and blue. I am not a masochist.

  • Kink From Afar: Dealing With Long Distance In A BDSM Relationship. (Part 2)

    We all know that long distance relationships are hard, but what if you add BDSM into the mix? Both BDSM and long distance relationships require a lot of work to maintain just by themselves. If you happen to combine the two, you're in for a wild ride! Here is part two on how to keep the kink alive when you're apart.

  • BDSM 101—Wax Play

    Today I want to talk about what wax play is, what you need to do it, how to clean up after it, and some safety concerning it.

  • BDSM 101 -- Bondage Hoods

    Today I want to discuss bondage hoods. We will talk about what bondage hoods are, and we will discuss some safety issues surrounding them. We will also discuss how you can incorporate them into your play sessions.

  • BDSM 101 -- Finding a Partner Part

    Today I want to talk about how I found my partner. My partner was originally not kinky at all; I introduced her to the world of kink. I want to discuss some of the tips and tricks that I discovered while doing this.

  • BDSM 101—Mummification

    Today we are going to discuss what mummification is, what you need to do it, and some safety tips you should know about.

  • BDSM 101—Erotic Humiliation

    Today we are going to discuss erotic humiliation, what it is, how lots of people go about it, why people like it, and what are some safety considerations you should have.

  • BDSM 101—Blindfolding

    Today we are going to discuss blindfolding your partner, what you want to look for in a blindfold, why anyone would blindfold their partner, and what are some things you can do to your blindfolded partner.

  • BDSM 101 -- Self Bondage

    Today we are going to talk about self bondage. We will discuss what it is and how to go about it, as well as the risks that are associated with it.

  • BDSM 101 — Household BDSM Toys

    Today we are going to look at various household items that be used for some BDSM fun. These are items that you likely have sitting around your house right now, too. We will discuss what you can use, and the pros and cons of each item.

  • BDSM Roller Coaster: Subspace to Sub-drop

    STOP! Before you delve into the world of BDSM power plays, there’s something you should know. Whether you're subbing or doming, you should know about the emotional and sometimes physical roller coaster that is the scope from subspace to sub-drop. The extreme highs and lows have risks of their own and can be incredibly intense for all persons involved.

  • BDSM 101 — Forced Feminization

    Today we are going to look at forced feminization; we will see what it entails, what the attraction is, and how people commonly enact it.

  • BDSM 101 — Finding a Partner Part 2: Attending a Munch

    Today we will explore munches. What is a munch? What is the etiquette surrounding them? How can you get involved in one?

  • BDSM 101 — Finding a Partner Part 1

    One of the common things I see people asking about is where they can find a kinky partner. People say that "it is really hard and difficult to find someone who is into the same things" as they are. So, in today’s article we are going to discuss some of the common places where you can find a partner who has similar interests as you.

  • BDSM 101 — Aftercare

    Today’s article focuses on what do you do once you have finished playing a partner; it's something called aftercare. We will look at what aftercare is, as well as how you do it.

  • BDSM 101 – Negotiating Limits

    Today we discuss what are limits, why should I talk to my partner about limits, what is the difference between a soft and hard limit, and what are some ways you can discuss your limits.

  • BDSM 101-- Safewords

    Today we are going to discuss what is a safeword, do I need a safeword, and how do I used a safeword. This will in turn allow you have better and more fun role playing sessions with your partner.

  • BDSM 101 -- Chastity

    Chastity play is a type of BDSM that denies a person the ability to have sex and masturbate. Today, we will talk about it, what toys are used to enforce it, and why someone would enjoy the experience.

  • BDSM 101 -- Gags

    BDSM play often involves a lot of toys, and deciding on the one that suits you best can be difficult. This article focuses on why people use gags, what the different types are, and how to safely use them.

  • BDSM DIY -- Rope Flogger

    When it comes to BDSM equipment, it can get very costly very fast, and you may not even be sure if your fantasies will line up with what you truly like. So here is a guide to make a very cheap yet fun rope flogger. So you can both have a flogger with which to have fun and do a test run to see if you want to invest in the future.

  • BDSM 101 - Step 1 Communication!

    So you have decided you want to try out the big world of BDSM, but where in the world do you start? You start with talking to your partner. It is the fundamental aspect of BDSM and I will tell you why.

  • Being Spanked

    I like to be spanked. Why? Several reasons, all of which I talk about here.

  • Cock-Stuffing

    In this article, you will learn about cock-stuffing, or urethral play, and the risks associated with it. While urethral play can be a gratifying sexual experience, it can also harvest unseen dangers.

  • BDSM 101: Aftercare

    When you start planning your first scene, you want to do everything you can to make it as perfect as possible. What you might forget is to plan what will happen after the scene is over.

  • BDSM 101: What websites to join and which ones to avoid

    When you first find the world of BDSM, one of the things that you probably want to do is learn as much as you can. A good way to do that is join a fetish website so that you can connect with like-minded individuals. But like with everything else, there are both good and bad websites.

  • BDSM 101: Personal Responsibility

    Just because you're a submissive doesn't mean you aren't responsible for your actions.

  • BDSM 101: Not Everyone Needs To Know

    People that are new to kink often ask "how do I explain my kink to my family and friends?" Whenever I see this question, I wonder why they feel the need to tell people.

  • BDSM 101: How to find your limits

    When you're new to the world of BDSM, you might find it difficult to pick out your limits when there are many types of play you've never been exposed to.

  • An illustrated guide to creating a safe and secure self-bondage system

    In life, you do not always have a partner to play with – sad but true. Maybe because you’re single, maybe because they aren’t into your kink, or maybe you just want some quality time for yourself.

  • BDSM 101: BDSM Myths

    There are many things that you may hear when you start researching about BDSM that might make you tilt your head and go "huh?" Here are a few of them that aren't always true.

  • BDSM 101: Pick Your Label

    When it comes to D/s relationships, there are so many labels that it can get a little confusing. Here is a guide with a basic explanation of some of the more common labels.

  • You, Your Partner, and Your Kink

    To nuzzle is one thing, but what if you need to tell your partner you prefer a bite? Or handcuffs? Will they accept it, or will they run far away?

  • Learning The Ropes: A Guide To Different Bondage Rope

    It is easy to get lost in the knotted jungle of ropes. Here is some help for finding your way out of the forest!

  • BDSM 101: Sadists and Masochists

    When it comes to pain lovers there are two types of people: the givers and the receivers.

  • BDSM 101: Safe Words

    Especially if you're new to BDSM or even just playing with a new partner, it's a good idea to have a safe word.

  • BDSM 101: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink

    RACK is the counterpart to SSC in the BDSM world. In some ways they are very similar and in other ways they are very different.

  • Dealing With My Kink

    How does a person figure out that they like sex differently from what is thought of as "typical"? The stories are as unique as the people who enjoy BDSM. Each person takes their own path. Some paths are scarred with abuse. Surviving an abusive relationship leaves many wounds. All too often, it affects many areas of life for years to come. One area that was difficult for me after leaving my ex, was intimacy. For me, it has taken years to accept my own kink; to let go and let myself enjoy it.

  • BDSM 101: Safe, Sane and Consensual

    SSC is probably the most common principle followed in regards to safety in the BDSM "world."

  • Submissive's Guide to Giving Head

    Although most of us know how to give a good blow job, there are certain things you can do to bring your submission into your technique. Try one or try all, but giving head will never be the same.

  • BDSM and Sex Positivity: Unsafe vs. Unhealthy

    In the frame of sex positivity, can BDSM be described as healthy, while still recognizing that it can be unsafe?

  • A BDSM Contract

    You want to get into a 24/7 BDSM relationship, but don't know where to start? A contract is a great place to state what you expect to give and receive, and a great way to keep the lines of communication open.

  • BDSM Or Just Curious?

    So you read 50 Shades of Grey and now you're looking for a dom? Think again!

  • BDSM 101

    So you're interested in learning more about BDSM or even ready to start going down that road? Read on and I'll describe a few of the things that you might want to try out, without sending you running for the hills.

  • BDSM Etiquette and Involvement

    OK, so you are venturing into the BDSM community and aren’t sure how to interact. What do you need to know? How do you not offend people? Here are some tips and tricks for navigating the kink community.

  • So You Wanna Try Bondage?

    Maybe you've wanted to try it for a while, or you just read some spicy erotica that spiked your interest, but either way you want to try bondage. Now the only thing you're trying to do is figure out where the heck to start, right?

  • Playing with (Human) Dolls - Dollification

    "Will you let me dress you up and play with you?" she asked. It was a question that no one had ever asked me before, but which started my exploration into the world of human dolls, a fetish known as "dollification." Playing with dolls isn't just Ken and Barbie anymore.

  • Good Pain versus Bad Pain: BDSM and Chronic Pain

    So, should I start with BDSM or my chronic pain? They are both so intertwined into my being that I don't know how to unknot them from each other.

  • Mouth-Breathers Need Kink Too!

    I love gags! Especially ball gags! The only problem is I can't breathe through my nose, and I know I'm not the only person with that problem. So what do you do when you want to be gagged, but you also want to breathe? I'll tell you!

  • Beginner BDSM on a Budget

    Have you ever wanted to try out BDSM without spending tons of money on supplies you don't know you want? Whether you're crafty or not I have compiled a simple list of DIY tools that everyone should try at least once!

  • Truth Is Better Than Fiction

    The temptation to make something up when confronted with questions about your kink can be strong, but most often, the truth in some form is better than trying to get away with the little white lie.

  • The Kink Continuum: How Far Down The Rabbit Hole Do You Want To Go?

    From an innocent tickle and slap on the ass to whips and chains or masters and slaves, the world of kink and BDSM is hardly the same for everybody involved. But what all kinky folk do have in common is the desire for what's at the heart of all kinky activity: creative sexual expression.

  • Barak and Sheba's Travel Guide for Kinky Social Networking

    Seeking new connections through kinky social networking sites can be fraught with drama, dissatisfaction and potentially danger. Keeping a few important tips in mind can help improve your experience and find what you're really looking for.

  • How Do I Tell Someone I'm Kinky?

    You meet someone new and you wonder...is he kinky? Will he run screaming into the night when I let slip my taste for being tied up? Now is not the time to panic, now is the time to sit back and carefully consider how to introduce your kink to someone you think is vanilla.

  • How To Survive Your First Kink Party

    You've made the decision to take the plunge: you're going to your first kinky party. Half of what you hear is talk about how important etiquette is, and the other half is about how you should just relax and be yourself. How do you manage to relax enough to "be yourself" when there are so many rules? Read on for your survival guide.

  • Racks and Cages and Condoms, Oh My!

    My Visit To A Play Space In The Wilds Of Suburbia

  • The Best BDSM Book I Never Wrote

  • College Night Kink

  • The Perverted Negress, Without Shame: An Interview with Mollena Williams, International Ms. Leather 2010

  • The Godfather of Masochism: In Memoriam: Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

    On the 115th anniversary of his death, we still have much to learn about sex, power and the true nature of love from the man for whom the term “masochism” was invented.

  • Leather: The Ultimate Masculine Fashion Statement

    Leather has a well-established niche in gay history. A look at the macho pioneers—from military men to bikers and artists—who shaped leather culture as we know it today.

  • Animal Attractions: A Trip to a Human Petting Zoo

    All the pick-up guides I read (and I read a lot) focus on small talk. What to say, how to say it, how much to say, how little to reveal. But sometimes it’s easier to say nothing at all. Sometimes the best way to meet people is to leave language aside and just bark, mew, whimper, or pant. *Sniff, sniff*

  • Thug Life: Punching, Kicking, and Takedowns as a Way to Do S/M

    Fight Club. Rugby. MMA. Let’s face it—we live in a society where it’s okay to be physically combative in a competition for superiority. But what happens when the fighting takes on an overtly kinky overtone? You’ve got what some refer to as Rough Body Play, or “Thug Play”—an old fashioned beatdown, not to the death, but until someone gets tired or cries “uncle.”

  • Chained to the Monitor: My Time as an Online Slave

    I ended up the collared pet of a woman I never met, never talked to on the phone, saw on webcam only a handful of times, but communicated with almost daily. It's not easy turning your life over to another person, and maybe not all that healthy. But its allure was as strong as any drug and I just couldn't resist.

  • The Fine Art of Figging

    When I heard about figging, I was fairly certain that I’d enjoy it. Figging is inserting a plug of fresh ginger root into your ass to enhance sexual pleasure. The ginger’s juices soak into your anal tissues, resulting in a burning sensation that is both arousing and excruciating. This practice took root in Victorian times—and you know those prim folks engaged in some very kinky pastimes.

  • Your Kiss, Your Fist

    Of all the things crammed into pussies and asses through the ages, the fist maintains an underground popularity that's baffling from the outside. What is it about fisting that captures the minds (and hands) of its devotees? And why exactly is the whole country terrified of its own ass?

  • The Ecstasy of the Agony: The Intersection of Kink and Spirituality

    BDSM is rarely considered from anything other than its purest physical aspect; even rarer still is it presented as something other than a pagan or non-mainstream religious set of beliefs. But what happens when someone who has deep faith and belief in more traditional, conservative religion finds that their sexual interests don’t exactly fit in with that lifestyle?

  • Confessions of a Closet Kink

    Hello. My name is Newme…and I’m a closet kink. If you saw me walking down the street, you would probably think, preppy mom. I’m top to bottom J. Crew—cardigan, tee and jeans. Mother of four who home-schooled her kids, drove them to all their activities in a Honda Accord, worked hard for a living, helped my husband start his own business. Nothing special, just your typical person on the streets.

  • Going for the Gold

    Or, if you prefer, urolagnia. Okay, maybe you aren’t familiar with the word, but I’ll bet you’ve heard of the fetish more commonly known as “water sports” or “golden showers.” Since researching this practice, I’ve found urolagnia dripping into my own sexual fantasies.

  • The 7 Year Itch: A Look Back at Secretary

    “The sweetest romantic comedy about S&M since, well...ever,” says Blackbook of the then-quirky, now-seminal film Secretary. Was it a massive step toward the mainstreaming of kinky culture or a lopsided portrayal that did more harm than good? Seven years later, people’s opinions remain sharply divided.

  • The Secret Pursuit of a Secret

    To paraphrase Andrew Vachss: A man who has a fetish will seek out women who he wouldn't normally find attractive if those women agree to and provide that particular fetish. In fact, that man might even prefer these women to those more attractive to him-more his “type”—if the ‘less’-attractive women provide him with his fetish more than women he's normally attracted to.

  • The Biochemistry of BDSM

    Jack and Bob meet at a kinky party; they go off into a corner where Jack gets whipped for an hour by Bob, wielding a big leather flogger. Yet, somehow, Jack is smiling at the end of it—and the noises he is making sound less like a man being tortured, and more like a man having sex. But why is he enjoying it? What is it about kinky pain that makes it different from regular pain?

  • Two Scoops: What Flavor is Your Vanilla?

    Vanilla. To the epicurious, it’s one of the world’s most prized spices. In the bedroom, however...well, nobody seems to know what it is. Except that they either are or aren’t vanilla. The Beautiful Kind takes a look at vanilla...and in the process, bakes a very special cake...

  • Leaving Normal—The Whys and Wherefores of the Journey to Kink

    Nobody just wakes up one day and decides “Gee, I think I’ll be kinky!” So, why do people go there? How many do? And darn it, is it better than straight sex, or is it all just propaganda?

  • The Sexis Interview: Mistress Mine, Part Three—Nuts and Bolts, Whips and Chains

    This week, in the final installment, your editor gets a tour of the milieu of a professional domme: the playspace, the wardrobe, and the rigors of home economics.

  • The Sexis Interview: Mistress Mine, Part Two—The Joy of Pain

    Now, in my line of work, I’ve met a ProDomme or two before. In the Big Apple, S&M is NBD. Dommes came in all shapes and sizes, from a near-seven-foot Valkyrie—replete with a trademark tomato-red PVC catsuit straight out of a comic book—to a raven-haired, petite coquette who could, with her five-inch killer spike heels, make a grown man cry a lot more than just “Uncle.”

  • The Sexis Interview: Mistress Mine, Part One—Birth of a Dominatrix

    When the average person thinks of Charlotte, North Carolina, what most often springs to mind is Bible Belt, Banking, NASCAR and the PTL debacle. Debauchery? Not so much—well, except for the PTL debacle, but BDSM? You might be surprised...

  • Robot Sex

    For as long as robots have been a concept in the human imagination, we have been plagued by questions: Is advanced artificial intelligence possible? Can machines devoid of emotion truly understand the human condition? And...how awesome would robots be in bed?

  • Three Days with Dina the Dominatrix: An Outsider Goes Inside the World of Professional Domination

    Take a fish out of water—or, in this case, a fish away from his Buffy DVDs—and plop him straight into the most fantastical encounter imaginable. Or...send him to the local professional dominatrix.

  • The Slavette Diaries: The Slave Manifesto

    A Proposal from the President of Intercontinental Slaves Union Local 814...

  • The Slavette Diaries: The ABCs of BDSM

    A journey with Slavette through the language of kink—with all due apologies to the late Edward Gorey.

  • The Slavette Diaries: You Might Be a Slave If…

    A humorous glimpse inside the lives and minds of slaves

  • The Slavette Diaries: The Myths and Realities of Masters and Slaves

    A Peek at Life Behind the Black Leather Curtain

  • The Slavette Diaries: I Am a Collared Slave: Now What?

    Today, Slavette wades through the murky waters of relationship-negotiation within the confines of the master/slave dynamic, without litigation, butcher knives, or invoking a demon.

  • The Slavette Diaries: Reading Between the Lines

    An Introduction to the Author of The Slavette Diaries

  • Stop in the Name of Love: Safewords

    Safewords are words or signals called out, usually during BDSM-related play, to either slow down or completely stop a scene. Citi Kittie gives us some deeper insight into the ins and outs of safewording – but take note: chances are that your boss will not respect your safeword when you use it to try and get out of that overdue spreadsheet.

Contributing authors

Other projects

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  • The Green Project

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  • The Naked Reader Book Club

    Join venerated erotica publisher Cleis Press, EdenFantasys and SexIs in an ongoing online book club for inquiring minds who love to read about all things sexual—from the politics of pornography to the erotically evocative boundaries of desire. News, meeting announcements, reviews, book readings and more can be found on [http://www.nakedreaderbookclub.com|The Naked Reader Book Club Blog]. [underline|[bold|Featured Books from Cleis Press]] To find out about upcoming featured titles, visit [http://www.nakedreaderbookclub.com/the-books/|The Naked Reader Book List] for a listing of books to be featured in the coming months. [bold|[http://www.edenfantasys.com/sex-community/stores/the-naked-reader-book-club/|The Naked Reader Book Club Store]] Visit the official NRBC store to purchase past, present and future featured book titles. [underline|[bold|Reviews]] 2- 4 books are featured each month and reviewed by a select group of Eden Fantasys Contributors. Reviews are highlighted on the [http://www.nakedreaderbookclub.com/category/reviews/|NRBC Blog]. [bold|[http://www.nakedreaderbookclub.com/nrbc-calendar/|Book Club Meetings]] The Naked Reader Book Club meets twice a month to discuss a selected book. Visit the [http://www.nakedreaderbookclub.com/|Naked Reader Book Club Blog] for a calendar of scheduled meetings. If you are interested in more information on the Naked Reader Book Club, please email [mailto:NakedReaderBookClub@gmail.com|The Naked Reader].

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  • The Appetites Project

    Lust. Hunger. Thirst.   More than just basic human needs designed to perpetuate the species, these complex motivations can lead us to the edge of obsession or euphoria, fulfillment or torment, despair or ecstasy. Without satisfaction, these desires can consume our lives. SexIs takes a closer look at the intersection between food and sex. What makes us lust for food? What foods increase our hunger for sex? In what ways do we creatively and compulsively feed our appetites? It’s food for thought.

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    EdenFantasys and SexIs have teamed up to create Porn Club, the hottest online adult video discussion club. Each month, two porn releases will be discussed in a live public conversation on the Eden forums, often with porn stars, directors, and producers in attendance! Join us for fun and lively conversations every month, as dozens of real people share their perspectives on the many genres of pornography we’ll be reviewing. These discussions are a no-holds-barred look at everything from the set up to the money shot. In addition to interviews and articles on SexIs, the Club also has a calendar of events, news, commentary and contests on the [http://www.edenpornclub.com/|Eden Porn Club Blog]

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    Educating you about sex, sexual health, sexuality, and much more at SexIs Social. Take control of your sex education. [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sex-forum/edenfantasys/sexis-suggestions/-sexis-september-sexis/|Find details on contributing here.]

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