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Ladies & gentlemen, the kinks: fetishes, bdsm, and you: all articles

  • Penis Play Orgasms Are Next-Level - And It’s Not About BDSM

    In the realm of sexual exploration, there are countless avenues to embark upon. From vanilla experiences to those that push the boundaries of kink, the spectrum of pleasure is vast and diverse. Today, we delve into a practice that is often misunderstood and misrepresented: Cock and Ball Torture (CBT). Let me begin with a disclaimer - it's not for BDSM folks only.

  • Define this: CBT

    CBT? Cat Bondage Time? Cool Body Temp? Cock and Ball Torture is more than high heels and winched faces. Power play and love go hand in hand.

  • BDSM DIY: Creating Dungeon Furniture

    In this third segment of my BDSM Do it Yourself column, I will discuss how I have made several pieces of dungeon furniture in the past and how you could, easily, learn to craft these transportable pieces yourself. The finished pieces can each be made for under twenty dollars and are mobile, so that you can bring and show off your furniture at play parties...or easily hide it under your bed if the in-laws come snooping.

  • BDSM Punishments

    In my previous article, How to Submit, I mentioned that it is important to be able to take punishments as a submissive. After my article was posted, it received a comment which left me stunned. Then it hit me. I had never explained the various types of punishments, and it was assumed that all BDSM punishments were purely physical. This article will explain the various forms of punishments often used and why each one may be selected and put to use.

  • BDSM Relationships and Mental Health

    When it comes to mixing BDSM dynamics with mental health and adverse reactions to medicines, it can be enough to frustrate most.

  • Beginning in Bondage

    Restraining your partner can be fun, bonding and loving, and it can be as much or as little drama, dogma and homework as you like. There are sources on the internet that make it seem impossibly complicated, incredibly specific and terribly difficult. It doesn't have to be. Sometimes it starts with a single tie.

  • Confessions of a Reluctant Rope Top: Part 3

    Contrary to what you might think because of media portrayals, bondage can be an incredible tool for intimacy in an otherwise perfectly normal relationship. You don't have to collar your spouse, wear crazy leather gear or inflict bruises to really reap the benefits of a little power exchange.

  • Confessions of a Reluctant Rope Top: Part 2

    Just thinking about new things (or even old things in new ways) can completely rewire how you think about sex. Seriously, just give it a go.

  • Confessions of a Reluctant Rope Top

    You can be normal and still love and respect a woman enough to blindfold her, tie her to a wall, and make her scream.

  • Whips Vs. Floggers

    Have you ever wondered exactly what the difference is between whips and floggers? Well here is your answer, along with examples of each.

  • BDSM 101—Understanding Masochism

    Today I want to look at masochism and help those who are not masochists potentially understand why someone might enjoy pain.

  • BDSM 101--Orgasm Denial

    Today we are going to discuss orgasm denial. What is it? How do you do it? Why do people like it?

  • Kink: A History

    Let's discuss the history of kink, as well as some ways that you can implement some kinky practices into your own life.

  • BDSM 101—Facesitting

    Today’s article is going to focus on an activity called facesitting. We are going to learn what it is, how to do it, why people like it, and some safety concerning it.

  • How to Submit: A Basic Guide

    Submission is all the craze now, ever since Fifty Shades of Grey hit the shelves last year. But what many people don't know is how to submit. Submission is so much more than being tied up and being spanked. Submission is, simply put, yielding to another, but sometimes that’s harder than it appears.

  • Play Party Guidelines

    BDSM play parties can be extremely fun. I highly suggest learning a little about how to respect yourself and others, in a scene, before you attend your first party.

  • BDSM 101: Erotic Asphyxiation

    Today’s guide is going to discuss erotic asphyxiation, what it is, and the major safety concerns it has.

  • The Feminist Submissive

    All too often on forums, social networking, and blogs, I hear the same question over and over again. "How can I be a feminist if I am a submissive?" Feminism and being a submissive are nor mutually exclusive. I am quite happily both things.

  • He can beat me, but I'm not a masochist.

    Roles, we are all assigned them. Even when we are playing with kink and fantasy, it still seems that we end up in roles that are assigned to us. I love my kink, and I love my dynamic. I let my Dom beat me until I am black and blue. I am not a masochist.

  • In Praise of Fisting

    There is nothing about fisting that doesn't sound terrifying, but it has become one of my favorite treats during sex. It is safer than you may think, and it is incredibly intense (physically and psychologically) on so many delicious levels. Don't write it off without at least doing a little research first!

  • Kink From Afar: Dealing With Long Distance In A BDSM Relationship. (Part 2)

    We all know that long distance relationships are hard, but what if you add BDSM into the mix? Both BDSM and long distance relationships require a lot of work to maintain just by themselves. If you happen to combine the two, you're in for a wild ride! Here is part two on how to keep the kink alive when you're apart.

  • Talking Dirty to Your Partner

    Today I want to talk about some tips and tricks for talking dirty to your partner. I want to share some personal experiences and how I think we successfully integrated it into our sex lives.

  • BDSM 101—Wax Play

    Today I want to talk about what wax play is, what you need to do it, how to clean up after it, and some safety concerning it.

  • BDSM 101 -- Bondage Hoods

    Today I want to discuss bondage hoods. We will talk about what bondage hoods are, and we will discuss some safety issues surrounding them. We will also discuss how you can incorporate them into your play sessions.

  • BDSM 101 -- Finding a Partner Part

    Today I want to talk about how I found my partner. My partner was originally not kinky at all; I introduced her to the world of kink. I want to discuss some of the tips and tricks that I discovered while doing this.

  • BDSM 101—Mummification

    Today we are going to discuss what mummification is, what you need to do it, and some safety tips you should know about.

  • BDSM 101—Erotic Humiliation

    Today we are going to discuss erotic humiliation, what it is, how lots of people go about it, why people like it, and what are some safety considerations you should have.

  • BDSM 101—Blindfolding

    Today we are going to discuss blindfolding your partner, what you want to look for in a blindfold, why anyone would blindfold their partner, and what are some things you can do to your blindfolded partner.

  • BDSM 101 -- Self Bondage

    Today we are going to talk about self bondage. We will discuss what it is and how to go about it, as well as the risks that are associated with it.

  • "Is She Wearing A DOG Collar?" (How To Maintain Some Of Your Kink In A Vanilla Setting, Without Scaring People, Part One)

    Wouldn't life be grand if all the kinksters of the world could run around in latex catsuits and spiked leather corsets, flogging each other and kneeling at their Master's feet under the table at McDonalds without worry? Unfortunately, the world is not quite ready for that; however, it IS possible to keep some of the kink alive, even when your local church group may be watching. Here are some tips to "vanilla-ize" your kinky relationship when necessary.

  • BDSM 101 — Household BDSM Toys

    Today we are going to look at various household items that be used for some BDSM fun. These are items that you likely have sitting around your house right now, too. We will discuss what you can use, and the pros and cons of each item.

  • BDSM Roller Coaster: Subspace to Sub-drop

    STOP! Before you delve into the world of BDSM power plays, there’s something you should know. Whether you're subbing or doming, you should know about the emotional and sometimes physical roller coaster that is the scope from subspace to sub-drop. The extreme highs and lows have risks of their own and can be incredibly intense for all persons involved.

  • BDSM 101 — Forced Feminization

    Today we are going to look at forced feminization; we will see what it entails, what the attraction is, and how people commonly enact it.

  • BDSM 101 — Finding a Partner Part 2: Attending a Munch

    Today we will explore munches. What is a munch? What is the etiquette surrounding them? How can you get involved in one?

  • Flogging 101: Choosing the Right Leather

    Not all leather is created equal. Shopping for a flogger requires knowing the differences between the wide variety of leathers available. Whether you like a sting, thud, or all of the above, this guide will teach you some of the important essentials about different leathers, and is an important first step in finding the flogger that's right for you!

  • BDSM 101 — Finding a Partner Part 1

    One of the common things I see people asking about is where they can find a kinky partner. People say that "it is really hard and difficult to find someone who is into the same things" as they are. So, in today’s article we are going to discuss some of the common places where you can find a partner who has similar interests as you.

  • BDSM 101 — Aftercare

    Today’s article focuses on what do you do once you have finished playing a partner; it's something called aftercare. We will look at what aftercare is, as well as how you do it.

  • My Journey into a BDSM Community

    How to articles are great to read, but here is the story of what I encountered as I was taking my first steps into a local BDSM or kink community. Hopefully it will lend a bit of insight into what you can expect.

  • How to Raise Your Pain Tolerance

    If you're into S&M, or have a partner you fancy who is, having a higher pain tolerance can definitely be beneficial. So here's some information on how to raise your pain tolerance.

  • Life As An Aspiring Cam Girl

    I am a 20 year old Canadian female. I am also an aspiring cam girl. As a cam girl, I'll take you into my experience; weird viewers, awkward situations, hilarious moments, and voyeuristic orgasms. Sure, there are ups and downs. Mostly, they happen while riding a toy. Being a cam girl isn't nearly fun as you think. It's a lot of work; building a fan base, working out, making yourself presentable, listening to demands, dealing with creeps... Well, that's a whole other article on its own.

  • Confessions of a Sex Worker

    Having worked as phone sex operator and a professional dominant, I have had many unusual experiences.

  • Meeting Master

    It’s that moment; you’ve come a long way, whether physically, emotionally, or both. You're now standing outside the door, the door that will lead you to meet your dominant or submissive cyber-partner for the first time. You take a deep breath, try to calm your nerves, and go through the door. This moment of the first face to face meeting can potentially make or break your relationship from this point on. Handling this moment is a huge deal.

  • BDSM 101-- Advanced Predicament Play

    Today we will talk about more advanced predicament play scenarios. Most of these require some additional equipment, planning and set up, but you will be rewarded with complex and interesting scenarios.

  • BDSM 101--Predicament Bondage

    Today we talk about what predicament bondage is and I will share some example scenarios that you can place your sub in.

  • BDSM 101 -- Pet Play

    Today I want to talk about Pet Play. This is a type of role-playing seen within BDSM, in which one individual takes on the persona of an animal and the dominant becomes their owner/trainer/controller. Today we will discuss why people like pet play, and the toys most commonly used with this type of play.

  • BDSM 101—Electrosex Part 2

    This article is going to focus on the different types of electrodes and where on the body they are used.

  • BDSM 101—Electrosex Part 1

    Today we talk about a new type of play called electrosex. Electrosex uses electrical stimulation to cause pleasurable sensations.

  • The Face of Kink

    This is a view into the world of kinky women. We're not fetish models; we're real, and we have the stretch marks to prove it.

  • BDSM 101 –Collaring

    Today, we look at collars, and the value and meaning that they have to many individuals.

  • BDSM 101 -- Impact Play

    The art of hitting a person with an instrument can create a large array of pleasant, erotic, and unique sensations. Today we will talk about the different types of toys, and how they vary in each category, and what effect that has on the experience they create.

  • BDSM DIY -- Wooden Paddle

    Today we explore how to make a wooden paddle. This articles talks briefly about how and why people spank, before discussing in detail how you can create your very own paddle and fulfill all of your spanking dreams!

  • BDSM DIY -- Spreader Bars

    So you're interested in BDSM and you go to buy some gear. You see prices of 100, 150, and 200 dollars and your heart sinks a bit. There's no way you can afford that, but have no fear. Below is a guide on how to make a very effective, but also very cost efficient, spreader bar.

  • BDSM 101 -- Gags

    BDSM play often involves a lot of toys, and deciding on the one that suits you best can be difficult. This article focuses on why people use gags, what the different types are, and how to safely use them.

  • BDSM DIY -- Rope Flogger

    When it comes to BDSM equipment, it can get very costly very fast, and you may not even be sure if your fantasies will line up with what you truly like. So here is a guide to make a very cheap yet fun rope flogger. So you can both have a flogger with which to have fun and do a test run to see if you want to invest in the future.

  • Take a Walk on the Wild Side

    Bored with your toy collection and tired of seeing the same designs again and again? If you think you’ve tried every kind of toy available, you may be surprised to learn there is a whole niche of truly wild sex toys out on the market available for anyone who dares to take a wild leap into some truly amazing experimentation.

  • Exploring Hentai

    There is so much porn, both on and off the internet. Why would anyone choose to look at drawings over real people? With a guilt free conscience, knowing that there are no reluctantly recruited actors, and no awkward feelings about watching strangers get down and dirty, many people choose hentai as an alternative. Plus, kinks and fetishes have no restrictions in hentai!

  • Rough sex and domination

    Many people like sex to be rough and vigorous, to be dominated and taken over by someone else. But to what extent?

  • The Wild Kink Alphabet A-F

    The first section of The Wild Kink Alphabet, covering the letters A (for age play) through F (for furry)! Have you ever heard of erotic asphyxiation? What about cum inflation? Furry? Kinks and fetishes go far beyond the well known BDSM spectrum, what's out there in the endless void of fetishism?

  • Mind Kink: Exploring Consensual Non-Consensual

    Consensual non-consensual (C.N.C.) is sometimes thought of as 'rape-play.' When done correctly and with respect for your partner, C.N.C. can be a very passionate and enjoyable thing. We've all had fantasies of being home alone and suddenly our partner dressed as a burglar comes in and 'burgles' us. The very idea of a trusted partner taking us forcefully and making us enjoy it can be highly erotic. C.N.C is a way to safely explore these fantasies and enjoy them fully.

  • Spanking Myself

    Self-spanking is like masturbation: You can do it because you don't have someone who will do it with you, or you can just do it because you enjoy it in its own right. But it turns out spanking yourself is not as easy as you might think. Aren't you glad I'm here with some advice?

  • Why Are Some Forms of Attraction Deemed "Sexualities," while Others Are Philias?

    Pedophilia, necrophilia, zoophilia. What do all of these words have in common, and why do they often evoke a reaction of "ugh?" As someone whose biggest fetish is pregnancy and who fits much of the criteria of maiesiophilia, the terms "philia" and "paraphilia" interest me. Why are some forms of attraction deemed "sexualities" (such as homosexuality, demisexuality, pomosexuality), while others are philias?

  • My Journey to Submissive Bliss

    This is my journey in submission and finding who I really am. Self-discovery can be a long, hard road with many bumps along the way. How do you tell your partner that you desire more in your relationship? Is it hopeless if you are married vanilla?

  • A Beginner's Guide To Safewords: What Is A Safeword And Why Do I Need One?

    What do you do when "YES, YES, YES" turns into "NO, NO, NO?" Safewords are an invaluable tool to have when you are involved in rough play. In this guide, I will explain what a safeword is and why they are good to have, because in the BDSM world "No" doesn't always mean "No."

  • Define This: Looning

    It comes in many colors. It's smooth and fun to play with. If you put your mouth on it and blow, it'll get big. What is it?

  • Being Spanked

    I like to be spanked. Why? Several reasons, all of which I talk about here.

  • The Tale of a Lesbian Lolita

    Being a Lolita is tricky enough. Combining an alternate sexuality with that can sometimes make your peers give you some pretty odd looks!

  • Define This: Feederism

    Everyone would love to be able to eat anything they wanted without gaining any extra weight. Well, almost everyone.

  • The power in your feet - A guide to giving a fantastic foot job

    Did you know that the most common fetish in the western world is the foot fetish? Odds are good that your significant other likes your feet too. Or maybe you already know he does and you want to knock his socks off with a hot surprise. Or he asked if you would do it. If so, here are some tips for you to make your man moan and groan!

  • He With the Clean Internet Profile May Cast the First Stone.

    Sexting, package shots, World of Warcraft??? As politicians get blamed for more of their online activities, what happens to regular people who enjoy the same activities?

  • Define This: Vore

    Have you had the desire to eat someone today? Whole? There's a rare fantasy fetish floating around the web called Vore. Frequently compared to cannibalism, vore has many different categories that appeal to vorarephiliacs.

  • Breastfeed Your Man

    Would you breastfeed your man? Breast milk is extremely nutritious. There are many couples who enjoy an adult breastfeeding relationship everyday. Between adults, it can be a very rewarding, pleasurable, and intimate act.

  • Cock-Stuffing

    In this article, you will learn about cock-stuffing, or urethral play, and the risks associated with it. While urethral play can be a gratifying sexual experience, it can also harvest unseen dangers.

  • BDSM 101: Aftercare

    When you start planning your first scene, you want to do everything you can to make it as perfect as possible. What you might forget is to plan what will happen after the scene is over.

  • My Cam Girl Experience

    I was just a broke college girl who needed some extra cash. I discovered I also needed some extra kink. A Master took me as his Sub and I learned a few things. I also lost a Master in the process.

  • BDSM 101: What websites to join and which ones to avoid

    When you first find the world of BDSM, one of the things that you probably want to do is learn as much as you can. A good way to do that is join a fetish website so that you can connect with like-minded individuals. But like with everything else, there are both good and bad websites.

  • BDSM 101: Personal Responsibility

    Just because you're a submissive doesn't mean you aren't responsible for your actions.

  • BDSM 101: Not Everyone Needs To Know

    People that are new to kink often ask "how do I explain my kink to my family and friends?" Whenever I see this question, I wonder why they feel the need to tell people.

  • BDSM 101: How to find your limits

    When you're new to the world of BDSM, you might find it difficult to pick out your limits when there are many types of play you've never been exposed to.

  • An illustrated guide to creating a safe and secure self-bondage system

    In life, you do not always have a partner to play with – sad but true. Maybe because you’re single, maybe because they aren’t into your kink, or maybe you just want some quality time for yourself.

  • BDSM 101: BDSM Myths

    There are many things that you may hear when you start researching about BDSM that might make you tilt your head and go "huh?" Here are a few of them that aren't always true.

  • BDSM 101: Pick Your Label

    When it comes to D/s relationships, there are so many labels that it can get a little confusing. Here is a guide with a basic explanation of some of the more common labels.

  • Define This: Monogamish

    Sounds related to monogamous, and it is - but it's not the same thing.

  • You, Your Partner, and Your Kink

    To nuzzle is one thing, but what if you need to tell your partner you prefer a bite? Or handcuffs? Will they accept it, or will they run far away?

  • Alien Fuck Fantasies

    Some fantasies are based in reality but others, like having sex with aliens, aren't based in reality at all. I decided that I wanted to bring up some possible problems with the concept of having sex with an alien life form.

  • Trigger Warning - Loss of Control

    Loss of control - where the fantasy can take you if you continue allowing it to be a fantasy.

  • Have You Been Naughty?

    Are you dreaming of a naughty Christmas? You are not alone. Thanks to the "50 Shades of Grey" trilogy, 2012 has officially become the year of kink. Moreover, women seem to be the driving force behind this sexual explosion. LELO, a leading designer of personal pleasure objects, recently released their yearlong global survey. With 19,000 women respondents from 8 countries, the results may surprise you, unless you already have your grey silk tie.

  • Learning The Ropes: A Guide To Different Bondage Rope

    It is easy to get lost in the knotted jungle of ropes. Here is some help for finding your way out of the forest!

  • Kinky University - College Campus BDSM Clubs

    With "50 Shades of Grey," the once hidden world of kink, fetish, and BDSM has stepped out of the dark shadows of society and is now front and center in the limelight. Not only in book stores, but also on many university campuses across America, the world of BDSM is coming out of the closet and its practitioners are finding acceptance.

  • The nail that sticks out

    The absolute extreme - being average. That's right - the most extreme thing is being average. I do not mean belonging to the mass of people who are similar in a way. No, I mean being halfway between groups of people.

  • Kinky Sex Club

    Harvard College approves a kinky sex club as a new student organization.

  • Sex Feed: New Proposed Law to Ban Bestiality in Germany

    Animal brothels tied to the decision to ban the practice.

  • Fantasies and Friends with Benefits: an Exploration in Communication

    Does casual sex have to change the way that you communicate fantasies with your partner? This is a look into answering that question from the perspective of a girl who thought she was the kinkiest girl in her cornfield town, and the friend-with-benefits who proved her very, very wrong.

  • BDSM 101: Sadists and Masochists

    When it comes to pain lovers there are two types of people: the givers and the receivers.

  • BDSM 101: Safe Words

    Especially if you're new to BDSM or even just playing with a new partner, it's a good idea to have a safe word.

  • BDSM 101: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink

    RACK is the counterpart to SSC in the BDSM world. In some ways they are very similar and in other ways they are very different.

  • E.T. Probe Home

    People's fantasies are getting more and more wild every day leading to the exploration of things beyond even this planet.

  • Dealing With My Kink

    How does a person figure out that they like sex differently from what is thought of as "typical"? The stories are as unique as the people who enjoy BDSM. Each person takes their own path. Some paths are scarred with abuse. Surviving an abusive relationship leaves many wounds. All too often, it affects many areas of life for years to come. One area that was difficult for me after leaving my ex, was intimacy. For me, it has taken years to accept my own kink; to let go and let myself enjoy it.

  • Anxiety and Submission

    How being a submissive Daddy’s little girl has helped me work on my anxiety.

  • Unusual Fetishes

    If you have a fetish that seems weird or unusual, I feel your pain. Read on to see how I integrate cannibalism, alien abductions, and incest into my everyday life.

  • BDSM 101: Safe, Sane and Consensual

    SSC is probably the most common principle followed in regards to safety in the BDSM "world."

  • BFF - Pinky Promise

    I may have different types of friends, but they all have something unique about them. Each person, kinky or not, has something to offer. It's up to me to open up and be myself with everyone I love and trust.

  • Long distance and D/s relationships

    Long distance and D/s... it's like someone went looking for a complicated style of relationship to be a part of. But with the right emphasis on communication and patience with common issues, they can be a breeze.

  • Submissive's Guide to Giving Head

    Although most of us know how to give a good blow job, there are certain things you can do to bring your submission into your technique. Try one or try all, but giving head will never be the same.

  • Do you want a Daddy?

    A lot of people seem to be kind of "grossed out" by the thought. There's definitely a taboo around calling your partner Daddy. If you're someone who wants a Daddy Dom and little style dynamic, this can make it hard to tell your partner about wanting this. But it doesn't have to be hard.

  • Body Mods Down Below: Male Edition

    What’s the deal with dick piercings? Do people really split their penises? Here's a brief look at all the crazy, cool and scary things that males can do to their genitals, and why you might want to look into getting pierced, even if you're not the "crazy" type! Not for the faint of heart!

  • Accepting My Kink

    How can submitting to a spanking possibly build confidence?

  • Daddy Doms: They're Not What You Think

    When you hear the words Daddy Dom, you probably internally (maybe even externally) cringe and think "Ew gross." What you probably don't know is that a Daddy Dom has nothing to do with incest or pedophilia. It has to do with wanting to take care of your partner like a Daddy does.

  • BDSM and Sex Positivity: Unsafe vs. Unhealthy

    In the frame of sex positivity, can BDSM be described as healthy, while still recognizing that it can be unsafe?

  • Strange Sex?

    I know you're going to look at the title for this and wonder what the hell I'm going to be writing about. But this isn't about things I've done or seen people do. It's about a TV show called Strange Sex.

  • A BDSM Contract

    You want to get into a 24/7 BDSM relationship, but don't know where to start? A contract is a great place to state what you expect to give and receive, and a great way to keep the lines of communication open.

  • Collars and Pets OH MY!

    I recently spoke with a friend of mine who was having trouble with her "Owner." She's a pet, an actual pet, a Nekko, as it is standard to be called. However, when her Owner started dating a new woman, things around her house changed rather quickly. The relationship that they had has degraded.

  • Fang-tasy: Vampire, Werewolf, and Supernatural Play!

    Are you Team Fangs or Team Claws? Either way, spook-tacular fantasy play has been everywhere from Renaissance Faires, Cons, and now most recently, the bedroom! Here will be some tips to let your claws out during intimate moments.

  • Roleplaying as a Way to Discovery

    Roleplaying is a healthy and exciting way to explore new avenues in your sexuality. Once you get used to being someone different you can have all sorts of fun and explore your desires in a safe environment.

  • Beyond the Dungeon - the "other" secret life of a Dominatrix

    The second in a series of interviews with some of the sex industry’s lesser-known and occasionally least understood practitioners.

    Immortalized in fiction, fetishized in art, and lionized in some of the internet’s most fascinating corners, we probably think we know everything about the life of a Dominatrix. In which case, we are in for a few surprises.

    Note: I've chosen to present this strictly in the words of the interviewee, removing my own questions and prompts.

  • Cross dressing: How it happens, why it happens, and how to come out to those who matter

    I will discuss how cross dressing came into my life, why it grew on me and my advice for coming out to the important ones in your life!

  • SexIs Subjective: On A Sexy Halloween

    Halloween can be a time to embrace that sexy part of you that you keep hidden the rest of the year. It allows you to become some one new and do things that only they would do.

  • Experimentation vs. Appropriation

    My lifestyle and business have become a fad. One would think that I should be jumping for joy, but I am not. I feel disgust and shame. I don't want to be a Halloween costume. It's not a pleasant feeling.

  • Furry: The Fuzzier Side of Kink

    Maybe you've seen that creepy CSI episode about fursuiting...Maybe you've had a friend that seemed to like to make animal noises just a little too much--or maybe you've just seen it around the internet. The furry fandom is growing by the day, but no one ever seems able to clearly define it or give a straight answer to any question about it. It really makes you wonder...What exactly IS a furry?

  • I will never be you. -Or- I don't understand white people.

    I was recently stuck in a situation with a bunch of members of the normal, which are the most important vote for any presidential candidate: white, upper class, Christian males. As I sat surrounded by these people with my mohawk and hole-filled jeans, I couldn't get over the fact I hated them, I hated every word that spilled from their mouths. Let me share my story about my time at a bachelor party, for my metamour.

  • Incest fantasy porn and legalities

    I think this is an odd thing to be able to find on the internet and I do not understand why I like to search for it, especially when most of the people in these videos repulse me.

  • BDSM Or Just Curious?

    So you read 50 Shades of Grey and now you're looking for a dom? Think again!

  • Kink: Convenient and Cost-Effective

    So we talked about household items that can stand in for kink toys. But what about the festishes you can't replace with a ping pong paddle?

  • Submissive Journals: A How To Guide

    As promised, this is part 2 of my previous post on submissive journals. In this section, I will focus on how to start and maintain your own Sub journal. As well as a starting guide, I will include helpful tips and tricks for writing and formatting your journal, things to consider when choosing a site, important posts to include in your journal, writing prompts, suggestions, and ideas to help you get started.

  • Submissive Journals: The Benefits Of Having Your Sub Keep A Daily Journal

    In one of my previous articles, I briefly talked about having a sub journal. I've decided to expand on the subject a bit more, since I received some questions. This is part one of a two part series. In this section, I will focus on why journals are important and also address some common ways they are used. Part two will be a how to guide on writing, and some helpful tips and tricks I've learned.

  • Beginner's BDSM: What It Means To Be Submissive

    You love sex, particularly kinky sex. But how do you know if you are ready to take your relationship to the next level, and become truly submissive?

  • Kink From Afar: Dealing With Long Distance In A BDSM Relationship.

    We all know that long distance relationships are hard, but what if you add BDSM into the mix? Both BDSM and long distance relationships require a lot of work to maintain just by themselves. If you happen to combine the two, you're in for a wild ride! How to keep the kink alive when you're apart.

  • BDSM 101

    So you're interested in learning more about BDSM or even ready to start going down that road? Read on and I'll describe a few of the things that you might want to try out, without sending you running for the hills.

  • Looking to try something new? It's not as scary as you think.

    Many think about trying new things in the bedroom, especially with the 50 Shades of Grey craze going on throughout the country right now. It's time to stop being afraid of what might be too weird or freaky and give it a shot! Easing into new territory might not be as hard as you're imagining.

  • Cuffs, Paddles and Safewords, Oh My! Or Beginner BDSM!

    BDSM seems to be on everyone's lips these days since a certain book became so popular. It seems that even some of the most quiet of people I have spoken with seem infatuated with giving it a try. So I thought why not impart some of the basics that everyone should know.

  • Variety is the Spice of Life

    Sex is a huge part of any relationship, whether you're sexually active all the time or tend to be the kind of couple that only gets it on every so often, sex is important. While the cuddly, cute, "let's make love" kind of sex is enjoyable, spicing things up can be just as much fun if not more. I've recently decided to take my sexual relationship and turn up the volume a few notches, and DAMN is it making a lot of noise.

  • Cuffs, Chains, and Rope; OH MY!

    Some of us get all tingly at the thought of our partner tying us up. There is something intoxicating about one half of the equation being at a complete disadvantage. There are more options on how to go about doing this than one who think at first glance.

  • Paddle Shopping

    Paddles are pretty iconic to spanking games. They are easy and not complicated to use. A lot of people feel more comfortable with a paddle than any other spanking toy when they are first trying BDSM. All paddles are not created equal. They feel and respond differently depending on how and what they are made of. This is a quick a dirty guide to help you select the paddle that fits you.

  • Talking about it.

    I am an American. I am a woman. These two things mean that I was socialized to be ashamed of being a sexual being. That shame didn’t last long, but it was an intense few years learning to shrug it off.

  • You want to do what?

    The art of negotiating a BDSM scene is a delicate balance between brutal honesty and fantasy. Both people have to walk the line between maintaining the illusion of an exchange of power while still maintaining clear boundaries. Many authors that write about BDSM stress the importance of negotiation, but they don’t tell you how to go about it. No one is going to have the exact same negotiation needs, but there is a general guideline to how this whole process can be done.

  • To Make a (NSFW) Music Video

    I have made various music videos, and all from porn clips.


    Safe words are an iconic part of BDSM play for a reason. They maintain the integrity of the role play while still giving the individuals a way to end play immediately. Safe words are an important thing to think about.

  • Bondage Around the House

    So you want to try bondage? You don't want to go out and buy fancy handcuffs or rope from a hardware store? That's ok, there are everyday household items you can use for your little fantasy!

  • When "Doing Your Wifely Duties" Becomes a Chore

    When I first discovered EdenFantasys, I hadn’t read or even heard of the 50 Shades of Gray series. Now seven months after placing my first order, who would ever imagine I would be living my own series; that my whole sexual being would be change.

  • Age Play: the basics

    A brief and basic description of the fetish and lifestyle of age play including definitions of terms and a few educational resources.

  • BDSM Etiquette and Involvement

    OK, so you are venturing into the BDSM community and aren’t sure how to interact. What do you need to know? How do you not offend people? Here are some tips and tricks for navigating the kink community.

  • The Poly Male, or Rational Polyamory

    How do two men share a woman without killing each other? It's much more about respect, and love, and less about animalistic furry and marking of territory. I want to explain how my friend and I share a woman without murdering each other.

  • Submission in a few of its forms.

    There are as many ways to submit as there are people in the world submitting, but there are a few different ways that these get lumped together.

  • In Praise of Uncut Cocks

    One girl, one fetish, and her quest for enlightenment. Am I alone in my love of uncircumcised penises?

  • Why fetishes are a good thing

    In today's society, fetishes have a very negative connotation. On a very special episode of "rants by Mine Fujiko," we discuss why fetishes can actually benefit people.

  • Intro to Rough Sex

    Ever wonder why the phrase "fuck me like you hate me" is so popular? Recently, rough sex and bondage have been explored by many couples and for good reasons.

  • So You Wanna Try Bondage?

    Maybe you've wanted to try it for a while, or you just read some spicy erotica that spiked your interest, but either way you want to try bondage. Now the only thing you're trying to do is figure out where the heck to start, right?

  • My story about my first love affair.

    Ever fall in love with both a female and a male? Well Julissa did and now she doesn't know what to do.

  • 50 Shades of a Cam Whore in love with a Vampire?!?!?

    Warning : This is more of a rant opposed to a stimulating article!

  • Embracing Kink

    How do you find a partner who's into kinky sex? You may already have the answer!

  • Pregnant Submissives Need Fun, Too.

    As a submissive who has been pregnant three times and a childbirth doula, I can tell you without a doubt you can still enjoy a power exchange relationship even during the highest risk pregnancies! Keeping the spice in your sex life during pregnancy can even lead some of lucky few to have the elusive orgasmic birth!

  • Cyber Sex Part Two

    Do your fingers freeze up at the keyboard trying to figure out what to say during cybersex? Can you think of anything besides mmmmmmmm....or oh yeah baby. Unable to find anything on the internet I have gathered some examples that I would like to share with you.

  • 'Fun'damentals of BDSM

    Topping and Domming, submitting and bottoming. All four terms are closely related in the BDSM world, but what on earth do they all mean, and what exactly is the difference? What is a Top? What is a Dominant? And what are sub- and Dom-space?

  • Food and Sex: Sexy, Yummy, Edible Stuff

    Food? In the bedroom? Really?

    Really. PuddlePuppy's here to tell you all about it.

  • Sex Toys in the New Relationship

    Should you share your toys with your lover? Yes, you should! If you don't share the fact that you use sex toys with your lover, you're only hurting your relationship in the long run.

  • BDSM as a Starting Point: Incorporating It Into a Marriage

    A few months ago my wife and I began to bring BDSM elements into our relationship. While this fulfilled a dream/desire that I had long had, you have to anticipate that things are changing within your relationship, find a way to make it work, and to realize that you don't have all of the answers all of the time, no matter what you may think.

  • When Those Boots Come On: Part Two

    So far this has been one of the most enlightening summers of my life. Not only have I spent more time exploring myself as the Domme I am, but my life has literally changed drastically in the last few months. I went on vacation to spend time with my friends. However, that vacation left me with more than I could ever imagine. I've learned who I am. I have grown spiritually and I have become the proud Mistress of one of the most exquisite slaves I have ever seen.

  • From Wife to Slave

    A month before our six year anniversary, we went from husband and wife to Master and slave. My life shifted gears when I became his, but learning a new dynamic didn't happen overnight like I expected. We've come far in a month, but now more than ever I realize how this is a journey, not a race.

  • Erotica in The Mainstream (Or how "50 Shades of Grey" Has Helped Loosen Us Up)

    "50 Shades of Grey" is everywhere. No matter what you think of the writing, the books have brought erotica out from the shadows in the publishing world. With the way erotica is being viewed currently and the advent of E-readers, there has never been a better time to love erotica.

  • My First Days as a Dom

    I thought I would be rough and tough. But instead, I ended up being a weepy mess, afraid that I was breaking my husband.

  • BDSM Training Schools Online

    School is in session for Dominants and Submissives alike with several online institutions to choose from offering everything from the basics of BDSM to the intricacies of specific fetishes, relationships and even legal matters.

  • Playing with (Human) Dolls - Dollification

    "Will you let me dress you up and play with you?" she asked. It was a question that no one had ever asked me before, but which started my exploration into the world of human dolls, a fetish known as "dollification." Playing with dolls isn't just Ken and Barbie anymore.

  • Playing with Fire

    Submissives are just as culpable when it comes to repairing a dynamic after a scene doesn't work right. By relinquishing that responsibility one denies their own power as a person and adult.

  • Beyond the Bedroom: The Submissive Lifestyle

    Many have toyed with the idea of becoming a submissive, but have put it off because the general stereotype of a submissive is taking as much pain as your master can deal. Dominant and submissive relationships can, and do, go beyond the bedroom.

  • You wanna do what?!?

    Years ago, before I was serious about anything in my life, I was involved in a relationship that was purely focused on carnal needs. We certainly didn't imply catching a movie when we said, “Hey, you wanna hang out tonight?” The agenda was sex. What's funny to me isthat it isn't the sex that I remember. It's something so insanely simple he said so long ago that dug in and made a home in my mind.

  • The Making of a Kinkster

    I remember walking into the local toy store when I was freshly 18. I was with a couple of my friends, and we were giggling the whole time. We were there to buy a gag gift for a friend.

  • How to Come Into Yourself

    I discovered EdenFantasys just about a year ago. I was reading a blog that I follow and someone had posted a link to where they purchased their latest sex toy. I clicked on the link, and I won’t say that my life was transformed from that moment on, but my sex life has definitely never been the same. Between the selection of toys, the ways I interact in the community and the writing that I do here on SexIs I’ve been able to really come into my own sexually.

  • The 5 Hallmarks of Feminist Porn

    For decades, pornography has been the domain of men - it was made by and for horny guys, with no regard for what women might like and what might be upsetting to them. But in recent years, there has been a surge of new feminist porn, created by female pornographers for women's enjoyment. It's a very diverse genre, but there are some defining features that most feminist porn films possess.

  • The Rules of Safety: D/s Relationships

    Recently BDSM has been ushered into the mainstream. Let's take a look at the basic rules you should know about before engaging in play.

  • Good Pain versus Bad Pain: BDSM and Chronic Pain

    So, should I start with BDSM or my chronic pain? They are both so intertwined into my being that I don't know how to unknot them from each other.

  • I Want Your Love, I Want Your Disease. I Want You Open Mouthed And On Your Knees.

    Love. Passion. Lust. Kink. Fetish. These five words have such meaning for the BDSM community and those whom only fantasize of living the dream. It has always been about love. It has always been about fetish and kink. It will always be about giving up that control that you didn't know you could, and just embracing it. It makes my toes curl just thinking about everything involving love and kink. You and me could write a bad romance.

  • The Giving Pirates

    A few months back, while on a road trip with a very dear friend, we started to talk about starting up a pirate performance troupe. It was an excuse to dress up, do some fun shows and...well, be entertaining pirates.

  • You're Into WHAT?!

    Foot fetishes, golden showers, rimming, pony play, slave and master, role playing, faeces play, whipping, spanking, pegging, needle play, asphyxiation, and oh so much more! You don't have to practice or even like the idea of these activities but many people thoroughly enjoy them. Just because they may seem different doesn't make them wrong.

  • Sexual Freedom's Fifty Shades Of Grey

    What defines ethical sex? Consent and age are the usual definitions, but what happens when dangerous sex gets dangerous, but consent seems clear? That's where questions get tough and answers become murky.

  • Beginner BDSM On A Budget II

    Have you ever wanted to try out BDSM without spending tons of money on supplies that you aren't sure that you need? Whether you're crafty or not, I have been compiling a simple list of DIY tools that everyone should try at least once!

  • Am I a Freak? (A Formal Introduction)

    Nobody can tell you better if your turn-ons make you a freak, than the expert on taboo... Tessa Taboo.

  • When Those Boots Come On

    The world of the Dom/Domme/sub is a very intriguing world, whether you are into the lifestyle, or simply curious about it. It is a completely different world from the one that we live in, or the vanilla world that most accept. So, through this article, come with me on my journey into the BDSM world, and peer into the life that I've begun.

  • When the BDSM Lifestyle gets abruptly put on hold, what happens next?

    You are deeply into the BDSM lifestyle with your significant other and life makes those unexpected changes on you. Where are you to go next? You always move forward. You keep living from day to day and hope that one day, the answer to all your questions will just glow on the top of your head like a light bulb. You begin to get into the passion and have these uncontrollable urges to do incredibly taboo things with your lover at ridiculous times of the day/night.

  • From Raped And Repressed, To Rabbit Aficionado: A Tale Of Redemption Through EdenFantasys.

    It took me twelve years to mentally and emotionally recover my sexual health after being raped the first time I had sex. It took another six years for me to find a trustworthy man with whom I could explore my newfound sexuality. And the healing all started with an ad in the back of Cosmopolitan magazine and a vibrator from EdenFantasys.

  • Domestic Discipline vs. Spanking Fetish: One for each Cheek

    "Do you need a spanking, young lady?" he would ask me in a firm warning tone. "No sir." Yes.

  • Four Historical Figures Worthy of a Modern Day Sex Scandal

    What do Benjamin Franklin, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Elvis Presley and Albert Enstien have in common? They all had their own less than conventional sexual preferences and you won't find it in most history books.

  • Fearlessly Optimistic about Sensual Kink

    The Lights are low, the music is playing in the background. The massage oils are warm, and your partner is waiting.

  • Boot Camp for Foot Fetishes? Seminar for Golden Showers?

    If you stay together with someone long enough in a loving relationship with sex involved, I figure you will eventually run up against one of those “surprise moments.”

  • Age Ain’t Nothin’ but a Number – Or is it a state of mind?

    Age play is a sexual or non-sexual role-play activity in which those role-playing get into the mindset of a younger or older person. Role-playing as a younger person seems more common, however.

  • Toothsome Sex and Biting Satire

    I’ve never really been all that keen on telling people in anger or irritation to bite me. Not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’ve always known deep down it didn’t make much sense. After all, the implication tends to be that the offender should bite the offended person’s naughty bits.

  • The Road to Domination

    My journey was not the most common, but I believe it made me the best I can be. It was an odd progression of finding my own way early on, dotted with self-education, and topped off with a healthy dose of rigid, formal education.

  • Got Rope?

    People are often curious as to why a particular play-style, pervy activity or kind of kink appeals while others leave you cold. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but I’ll tell you about why I so love bottoming to rope bondage.

  • Mr. Sexsmith Says: Don’t Worry, Be Kinky

    Stepping out into the world of dating at the age of 18 is scary enough without adding the worry that your kinks will make people think you're a freak. Mr. Sexsmith offers some sage advice on coming to terms with who you are and building up the courage to step off the dating curb.

  • Truth Is Better Than Fiction

    The temptation to make something up when confronted with questions about your kink can be strong, but most often, the truth in some form is better than trying to get away with the little white lie.

  • The Kink Continuum: How Far Down The Rabbit Hole Do You Want To Go?

    From an innocent tickle and slap on the ass to whips and chains or masters and slaves, the world of kink and BDSM is hardly the same for everybody involved. But what all kinky folk do have in common is the desire for what's at the heart of all kinky activity: creative sexual expression.

  • Barak and Sheba's Travel Guide for Kinky Social Networking

    Seeking new connections through kinky social networking sites can be fraught with drama, dissatisfaction and potentially danger. Keeping a few important tips in mind can help improve your experience and find what you're really looking for.

  • How Do I Tell Someone I'm Kinky?

    You meet someone new and you he kinky? Will he run screaming into the night when I let slip my taste for being tied up? Now is not the time to panic, now is the time to sit back and carefully consider how to introduce your kink to someone you think is vanilla.

  • How To Survive Your First Kink Party

    You've made the decision to take the plunge: you're going to your first kinky party. Half of what you hear is talk about how important etiquette is, and the other half is about how you should just relax and be yourself. How do you manage to relax enough to "be yourself" when there are so many rules? Read on for your survival guide.

  • Postcards From A Sex Nerd: Got Rope?

    Imagine a weekend at the friendliest place on earth, with the nicest people, who are sharing and playing well with each other. Now remove the acoustic guitar and accompanying folk music from that image — and replace it with hemp products. In this case hemp is used for ropes and tying, not smoking, because we’re at ShibariCon .

  • Advanced Roleplay: A Manual for Making the Fantasy Happen

    You've heard the roles before: naughty nurse, horny pizza guy, frisky babysitter, suave pool boy...but what if the roleplay you're into doesn't fit into porn's top ten? Whatever your ideal fantasy scenario is, you can accomplish it with a little work.

  • Online Hook-ups: Part 3—Fetish Sites

  • Racks and Cages and Condoms, Oh My!

    My Visit To A Play Space In The Wilds Of Suburbia

  • Kinky Roommate Etiquette

    In the best of all possible worlds, we could do whatever we want, with whomever we want, whenever we want... but for those of us who live in the real world, having sex can be a process of negotiation—especially when the real world includes sharing your living quarters with others.

  • Sex Positive St. Louis: Finding Peace at The Facility

    BDSM is on the menu at this fund-raising event, where awareness is elevated, expectations evolve, inhibitions crumble, and sex positivity reaches a higher plateau.

  • A Fetish for All? Zentai Goes Mainstream

    What happens when society at large takes a fancy to your fetish, without any real idea what it's about?

  • Kink Confidential: Bruising & BDSM

    I’ve already told you about the purple stripes that crisscrossed my backside after my first flogging. They were thick and wide as the suede strips of the flogger, and concentrated on the roundest part of my ass.

  • The Appetites Project: Fine Young Cannibals ... A Hunger for Flesh

    The human appetite is a curious thing. For those with a fetish for cannibalism, the term, "Eat me," carries heady connotations. Keeping in the holiday spirit, as part of the Appetites Project, we offer up a very different kind of Thanksgiving feast. Bon(e) Appetit!

  • Stretching the Envelope: SexIs on the Scene at Mr. International Rubber

    I am surrounded by male energy. To be clear: I am surrounded by hot guys, lubed up in skimpy rubber outfits. It’s the 14th annual Mr. International Rubber (MIR), a skin-tight fetish event in Chicago, that draws rubber-boys from all over the world.

  • The Naked Reader Twitterotica Contest!

    Another week, another hot topic, another 140 characters of steamy micro-erotic excellence. Presenting our weekly winner, runner-up and the outstanding entries for last week’s topic: “The kink that (almost) got away.”

  • Postcards from a Sex Nerd—SMil, Where Sex and BDSM Go Together

    Non-profit Danish kink association is public spirited, tolerant ... and all about the fun.

  • The Naked Reader Presents: The Role-Play’s The Thing

  • Secrets of a Sex Writer: The Nonconsensual Play Party Voyeur

  • Midori's Postcards From A Sex Nerd: Whips, Chains & Great Coffee—Wicked Grounds Café

    Welcome to Wicked Grounds—America’s singular adults-only kinky café. It also happens to be my one of my top two favorite cafés in San Francisco. You’ll often find me there, writing or hanging out with other sexy freaks. The coffee’s superb, Wi-Fi’s free, no children are allowed (except those adults enjoying age play), and I can say and do most anything. What’s not to love?

  • Gluttony Meets Lust, Part Two: An Interview with Molly Ren

    In the first installment of this interview, we met up with Molly Ren, who has a very special relationship with food as it relates to sex. While many foods are known to function as aphrodisiacs, for Ren and others who share this fetish, it is the act of eating and feeding, rather than the food itself, that leads to the ultimate gratification.

  • Gluttony Meets Lust, Part One: An Interview with Molly Ren

    Last week, we launched The Appetites Project with Liz Langley's feature, “I Eat, Therefore, I Am.” In this installment of the SexIs feederism series, The Beautiful Kind talks one-on-one with a practitioner of the fetish, Molly Ren.

  • The Best BDSM Book I Never Wrote

  • Plugged In: Push-Button Orgasms

    If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Then again, innovation is always propelling us forward into realities we couldn’t possibly have imagined. The concept of orgasm on demand has been around for a long time, but how close are we to that reality?

  • College Night Kink

  • The Perverted Negress, Without Shame: An Interview with Mollena Williams, International Ms. Leather 2010

  • Tuesdays With Nina: When Sex Leaves a Mark

    You know your friends are kinky, but when they show up with bruises, do you fear they are being abused? Does it seem strange, worrisome or flat out wrong to you that some people enjoy pain during sex?

  • The Whore Journals, Part 10: My First Foot Job

  • Secrets of a Sex Writer: My Domme Side

  • Valley of the Real Dolls

    Things that look human but aren’t, are creepy. Or loveable, depending on your capacity for anthromorphism. Or beautiful, depending on your aesthetic. Or perhaps a bit of all three at once, which explains the American public’s conflicted fascination with life-sized sex dolls and even the first impressions of doll users themselves.

  • Tuesdays With Nina: Roughin' It: Genital Piercings & Rough Sex

  • Rubber Rubs Her Right

    Harnessing the power of discarded inner tubes, fetish-wear artisan Katrina Humbert scores one for the green team.

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Suspension Bondage

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: CBT

    CBT: It all makes sense until that last letter. Cock and ball...torture? Really? If you were raised on “guy gets smacked in the junk” clips on America's Funniest Home Videos, or if you possess junk that prefers a little tenderness to the crotch equivalent of Fight Club, this one might take a little explaining.

  • Animal Attractions: A Trip to a Human Petting Zoo

    All the pick-up guides I read (and I read a lot) focus on small talk. What to say, how to say it, how much to say, how little to reveal. But sometimes it’s easier to say nothing at all. Sometimes the best way to meet people is to leave language aside and just bark, mew, whimper, or pant. *Sniff, sniff*

  • Thug Life: Punching, Kicking, and Takedowns as a Way to Do S/M

    Fight Club. Rugby. MMA. Let’s face it—we live in a society where it’s okay to be physically combative in a competition for superiority. But what happens when the fighting takes on an overtly kinky overtone? You’ve got what some refer to as Rough Body Play, or “Thug Play”—an old fashioned beatdown, not to the death, but until someone gets tired or cries “uncle.”

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Objectification

    If you've ever filled out a BDSM checklist, chances are you've seen a question about whether you enjoy “serving as furniture.” Or you might have run across someone who gets hot when referred to as “it.” What's the allure of objectification? Let's take an objective (sorry) look at this very stationary fetish.

  • Chained to the Monitor: My Time as an Online Slave

    I ended up the collared pet of a woman I never met, never talked to on the phone, saw on webcam only a handful of times, but communicated with almost daily. It's not easy turning your life over to another person, and maybe not all that healthy. But its allure was as strong as any drug and I just couldn't resist.

  • Shine, and the Other S&M

    Some of us have a fetish—a very particular fetish, that is—a fetish for latex and PVC, which is often associated with the realms of BDSM or S&M. But this particular fetish isn’t about BDSM. It’s just for ‘the look.’ Or, as renowned designer The Baroness puts it, “the other S&M: Stand and Model.”

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Consensual Slavery

    Is there happiness in slavery? When a collar isn't just jewelry but means something, what does it mean? Let's talk fact and fiction when it comes to living under contract.

  • The Fine Art of Figging

    When I heard about figging, I was fairly certain that I’d enjoy it. Figging is inserting a plug of fresh ginger root into your ass to enhance sexual pleasure. The ginger’s juices soak into your anal tissues, resulting in a burning sensation that is both arousing and excruciating. This practice took root in Victorian times—and you know those prim folks engaged in some very kinky pastimes.

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Medical Play

    White coats, stethoscopes, and nurses standing by? Ooh la la! A surprising number of folks get faint at the thought of a little medical porn, or medical equipment—and those are two very different kinks. The doctor will see you now, with five examinations of this very popular kink.

  • Your Kiss, Your Fist

    Of all the things crammed into pussies and asses through the ages, the fist maintains an underground popularity that's baffling from the outside. What is it about fisting that captures the minds (and hands) of its devotees? And why exactly is the whole country terrified of its own ass?

  • The Ecstasy of the Agony: The Intersection of Kink and Spirituality

    BDSM is rarely considered from anything other than its purest physical aspect; even rarer still is it presented as something other than a pagan or non-mainstream religious set of beliefs. But what happens when someone who has deep faith and belief in more traditional, conservative religion finds that their sexual interests don’t exactly fit in with that lifestyle?

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Knife Play

    Knives and sex with no felonies involved? It's possible. It can even be part of a fun Friday night. How do you mix sharp blades with tender bits? Here are five points (I'm sorry) for living on the edge (I'm so, so sorry) with erotic knife play.

  • Confessions of a Closet Kink

    Hello. My name is Newme…and I’m a closet kink. If you saw me walking down the street, you would probably think, preppy mom. I’m top to bottom J. Crew—cardigan, tee and jeans. Mother of four who home-schooled her kids, drove them to all their activities in a Honda Accord, worked hard for a living, helped my husband start his own business. Nothing special, just your typical person on the streets.

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Predicament Bondage

    Bondage is often devious, but no bondage is quite as sly as predicament bondage. Every minute is a mind game and every movement an act of will. Here are five whys and hows of this nasty little game.

  • Going for the Gold

    Or, if you prefer, urolagnia. Okay, maybe you aren’t familiar with the word, but I’ll bet you’ve heard of the fetish more commonly known as “water sports” or “golden showers.” Since researching this practice, I’ve found urolagnia dripping into my own sexual fantasies.

  • The 7 Year Itch: A Look Back at Secretary

    “The sweetest romantic comedy about S&M since, well...ever,” says Blackbook of the then-quirky, now-seminal film Secretary. Was it a massive step toward the mainstreaming of kinky culture or a lopsided portrayal that did more harm than good? Seven years later, people’s opinions remain sharply divided.

  • The Secret Pursuit of a Secret

    To paraphrase Andrew Vachss: A man who has a fetish will seek out women who he wouldn't normally find attractive if those women agree to and provide that particular fetish. In fact, that man might even prefer these women to those more attractive to him-more his “type”—if the ‘less’-attractive women provide him with his fetish more than women he's normally attracted to.

  • The Biochemistry of BDSM

    Jack and Bob meet at a kinky party; they go off into a corner where Jack gets whipped for an hour by Bob, wielding a big leather flogger. Yet, somehow, Jack is smiling at the end of it—and the noises he is making sound less like a man being tortured, and more like a man having sex. But why is he enjoying it? What is it about kinky pain that makes it different from regular pain?

  • Two Scoops: What Flavor is Your Vanilla?

    Vanilla. To the epicurious, it’s one of the world’s most prized spices. In the bedroom, however...well, nobody seems to know what it is. Except that they either are or aren’t vanilla. The Beautiful Kind takes a look at vanilla...and in the process, bakes a very special cake...

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Corsets

    Corsetry isn't just for Victoriana enthusiasts. The dramatic lines of a corseted figure is custom-made for the high-fashion fetishwear subset of BDSM culture, and the restrictive nature of the garment allows for all kinds of power-trippy fun. How did getting laced up into something restrictive and sexy get mixed up with kink? Read on for five lace-'em-ups about this deceptively beautiful fetish.

  • Leaving Normal—The Whys and Wherefores of the Journey to Kink

    Nobody just wakes up one day and decides “Gee, I think I’ll be kinky!” So, why do people go there? How many do? And darn it, is it better than straight sex, or is it all just propaganda?

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Latex

    Have you ever found yourself confronted with a piece of latex fetishwear and wondered what that familiar tingle was all about? Chances are, your brain recognized the basic scent of condoms—ooh la la! So what is it that entices some to take latex out of the realm of Trojans and into the realm of full-on bodywear? Read on for five fabulous finds on why lovers love latex.

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: OTK Spanking

    If you're looking for a way to try out kink that's free, easy, and likely to have good results, this one’s for you. Spanking as sexual titillation goes a lot further than the trope of the 1950s secretary getting a slap on the rump from a leering boss; in the world of kink today, spanking is safe, fun, and a lot less complicated than sex. Let's check out five rump-thumping tidbits about the spank.

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Bastinado

    It sounds pretty, but it feels mean. Bastinado is the practice of beating the soles of the feet. Why do it? You know the drill by now: if this is your sole exposure (sorry!) to bastinado, read on for five little piggies' worth of knowledge.

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Animal Roleplaying

    Why is that cutie on the bus wearing a dog collar? Why is that yuppie breathing heavy in the bridle aisle? Animal roleplay is a surprisingly popular form of kink, with puppies, kitties, and ponies the apparent favorites. What's the deal with human pets? Here, we'll take a look at five yips, whinnies, and meows about animal roleplay.

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Masochism

    Masochism is just about liking pain, right? Wrong. There’s a lot more to it. Here are five things your momma never told you about pain sluts.

  • Dr. Dick on Demand: The Amputee Devotee

    This week, Dr. Dick investigates acrotomophilia; or, in other words, the amputee fetish.

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Sadism

    Is making someone hurt an act of cruelty or an act of love? If you said “either one, and sometimes both,” you get a gold star (and I’ll see you at the dungeon). If you didn’t, read on: Here come five points that might help explain why beating the shit out of someone can be the nicest thing anyone ever did.

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Needleplay

    Most people don't think of needles as sexual or erotic, but even the shallowest consideration yields some obvious reasons for that association: needles penetrate the body and afford access to bodily fluids in a way few activities outside of sexuality do. Welcome to five incisive (sorry) tidbits about the art of erotic needleplay.

  • The Sexis Interview: Mistress Mine, Part Three—Nuts and Bolts, Whips and Chains

    This week, in the final installment, your editor gets a tour of the milieu of a professional domme: the playspace, the wardrobe, and the rigors of home economics.

  • The Kink Corner with Kal Cobalt: Tickling

    For some of us, tickling is an activity we remember from summer camps and evenings with the family, either fondly or agonizingly (or both). For others, the enforced abandonment of control and reflexive, hysterical convulsing relates so closely to orgasmic feelings that tickling becomes sexualized.

  • The Sexis Interview: Mistress Mine, Part Two—The Joy of Pain

    Now, in my line of work, I’ve met a ProDomme or two before. In the Big Apple, S&M is NBD. Dommes came in all shapes and sizes, from a near-seven-foot Valkyrie—replete with a trademark tomato-red PVC catsuit straight out of a comic book—to a raven-haired, petite coquette who could, with her five-inch killer spike heels, make a grown man cry a lot more than just “Uncle.”

  • Sex and the Suburbs: Chips, Dips, Chains, Whips—Exploring BDSM and Kink

    Momma’s got a brand new bag. And it’s full of paddles, floggers, and restraints. It’s time to get your kink on!

  • The Sexis Interview: Mistress Mine, Part One—Birth of a Dominatrix

    When the average person thinks of Charlotte, North Carolina, what most often springs to mind is Bible Belt, Banking, NASCAR and the PTL debacle. Debauchery? Not so much—well, except for the PTL debacle, but BDSM? You might be surprised...

  • Guess What, Honey? I’m A Kinky Old Perv!

    So you’ve met the person of your dreams—only you haven’t got around to telling your new honey your dirty little secret...

  • Three Days with Dina the Dominatrix: An Outsider Goes Inside the World of Professional Domination

    Take a fish out of water—or, in this case, a fish away from his Buffy DVDs—and plop him straight into the most fantastical encounter imaginable. Or...send him to the local professional dominatrix.

  • The Slavette Diaries: The Slave Manifesto

    A Proposal from the President of Intercontinental Slaves Union Local 814...

  • The Slavette Diaries: The ABCs of BDSM

    A journey with Slavette through the language of kink—with all due apologies to the late Edward Gorey.

  • The Slavette Diaries: You Might Be a Slave If…

    A humorous glimpse inside the lives and minds of slaves

  • The Slavette Diaries: The Myths and Realities of Masters and Slaves

    A Peek at Life Behind the Black Leather Curtain

  • The Slavette Diaries: I Am a Collared Slave: Now What?

    Today, Slavette wades through the murky waters of relationship-negotiation within the confines of the master/slave dynamic, without litigation, butcher knives, or invoking a demon.

  • The Slavette Diaries: Reading Between the Lines

    An Introduction to the Author of The Slavette Diaries

  • Stop in the Name of Love: Safewords

    Safewords are words or signals called out, usually during BDSM-related play, to either slow down or completely stop a scene. Citi Kittie gives us some deeper insight into the ins and outs of safewording – but take note: chances are that your boss will not respect your safeword when you use it to try and get out of that overdue spreadsheet.

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