You're not alone. You're in the right place.
Almost half of women aged 18 to 60 use sex toys or have tried them in the past, according to a 2004 study of over 2,000 women by the famed Berman Center, directed by "Oprah" sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman. Vibrators have become so mainstream and socially acceptable that Trojan just launched a women's line of condoms, Elexa, that also features a vibrating latex ring sex toy right there in the drugstore by the bunion cream (but don't waste your money on that one - it's a one-shot only, twenty-minute buzz). Buy yourself or your loved one(s) a real present, a wonderful, hot, vibrating present. To find the best fit for you, do your homework - no, wait, I've done it for you! An open mind is the gateway to pleasure, through which knowledge and power can enter. And Fanny is the lubricant that will make it go smoothly!
If we'd studied this in high school...
The history of sex toys is as long as the history of human desire: the first recorded mention was the olisbos, made of wood or leather, and sold in the Greek city of Miletus around 500 B.C. And by 350 B.C., those ancients were lubing their olisboses up with olive oil (we knew olive oil was good for you!) Roman women carried fantasy-sized wooden phalluses to honor the fertility goddess, Bona Dea - hmm, maybe that's what they really meant by "Nero fiddled while Rome burned." By the Middle Ages, the use of hand-carved wooden sexcessories was so widespread that priests in Germany issued stern edicts against them. The Renaissance brought the official coining of the word "dildo," a variation on "olsibos" or from the Latin "dilatare," to open wide, from which we also get the word "dilate," or from "diletto," which means "to delight." Open wide with delight - can you think of a better expression of a healthy sexuality?
In 1869, the American physician, George Taylor, invented the first vibrator, an enormous, steam-powered device, and by 1882, an ingenious Brit came up with the first electromechanical vibrator. Vibrator use became so popular and widespread they were the fifth household device to be electrified; only the sewing machine, toaster, teakettle and fan were deemed more necessary for the maintenance of a happy household. Even Sears catalog featured ads for mother's little helper! But the use of vibrators for their true purpose in 1920s porn blew the lid off their social acceptability; the ads disappeared and vibrators stayed underground until the sexual awakening in the mid-sixties.
Brief History of a Sexpert
Both hands between my legs on top of my pink coverlet in my little bed, I'd been caught by my mother when I was eight. "That's nasty," she said. "Don't ever let me catch you with your hands down there again." Of course, she did catch me again...and again, but detection was more difficult when I lay on my stomach. I even got myself off in the same bed with my cousin, Lisa, at sleepovers). And then one day the UPS man showed up with the brown paper package - "Oh, look, Dave!" my mother shouted to my father as she unwrapped the box. "My back massager's finally here!"
We gathered round the kitchen table to inspect the device, and though it looked more like an emergency-room implement than a pleasure-giver with its one-inch metal stub to attach the six attachments, I sized it up with the born instinct of a sensualist. I used a sex toy before I'd even learned to use a man. And used it so much and so hard without the rubber attachments that I actually burned my labia on the metal stub as it heated up (now there's a reason to go with battery-operated vibrators over "personal massagers!"). My mother caught me with it and began hiding it - in the last shoebox on the top shelf of her closet.
After I lost my virginity to a "real" penis, I abandoned my little friends for years, and only after a bad breakup did I go back to them. I went to a women's-only sex shop in midtown Manhattan, and picked out a vibrator so small and sensible that the large and much-tattooed cashier became irate: "That's too small to ever satisfy you!" she scolded. I insisted five inches was fine, and she gave in. It was fine for length, but it was a low-end, "slimline" type, and my curiosity grew for more gratifying toys. By the end of my twenties, I had such a large collection of toys that I had to buy a big toy chest, just like a naughty schoolgirl. And I was giving out advice solicited or not! on my favorite topic, left and right, in and out!
With my initial experience, I had fallen prey to a common myth about vibrators: that it's single women who use them the most. In Dr. Berman's study, more than 30 percent of single women reported using vibrators versus 60 percent of women in relationships. So for those of you who are afraid a vibrator might become a substitute for flesh and blood, stop worrying! Dr. Berman explains that "vibrators have as much a place for couples as they do for singles," and two-thirds of the women surveyed said their partners supported their vibrator use, and half used them with their partners.
Will you become "vibrator-dependent"?
Again, the study issued a resounding "NO." If you've never used a vibrator, let me tell you that it doesn't feel the same as sex with another human being: it's fabulous with the right toy, and the sensations are often more physically intense than "regular" sex, but sensorily - and of course emotionally - apples and oranges from human intimacy. Vibrators are an addition, a complement, to your total sex life and pursuit of stress-free happiness.
Will you have an orgasm the first time you use a vibrator?
Hard to predict, though more likely than through traditional intercourse. Just like with human-on-human action, so much depends on your emotional, mental and physical state. And just like with real-world moves, it's important to try different things and different positions. Even a traditional vibrator can be used in many ways: externally, for direct clitoral buzz, or inside for maximum penetration. Many people forget that, just like with sex, you can vary the positions in which you use your vibrator to vary and further your pleasure: besides you or your toy on top, you can sit on a vibrator if you hold the base tightly, and depending on the size of the toy and the length of your arms, you can even adjust yourself for a modified doggy-style solo.
What's the difference between an electric and a battery-powered vibrator?
Electric vibrators are usually engineered to look like personal massagers, must plug into