Q: The other day, my boyfriend and I had a conversation about anal sex. I'm all for it but I still have some doubts about trying it. I would like to know more about anal fun. And... is it really a fun or a nightmare feminist women say?
A: Anal play is a sensational experience for women and men as well, due to the numerous amount of nerves situated in the rectum and anus. A drop of anal lubricant, a bit of patience and some mutual understanding and shortly after you start exploring the anal pleasures you will become a real adept of "anal love". Just like any new activity, especially one related to your intimate life, backdoor sex and anal toys solo fun is a pretty enjoyable activity that requires time and patience. If you got some of those, you've got to like that. What's bothering and worrying most people is the lack of proper excitement and arousal before they get down the business. Anus muscles need a "better" treatment and more "attention" than a female vagina to get excited and what's more important, it needs some lotion for more comfortable sensations.
Unlike human genitals, vagina and penis, anus unfortunately does not have the ability to produce own lubrication, which is creating great difficulties to anal penetration. Remember, no matter how much lube you're using for anal play, it is never too much. Note, anal muscles are rather sensitive and rejective to friction of an dry penis or adult toy. Hence, it is strongly recommended you use a lubricant intended especially for anal sex and anal sex toys play. Although anal sex sounds extremely exciting, please take your time and "warm up", so, the penetration is smooth and painless. As a conclusion, let's repeat the main rules of anal fun: "More lube - More anal" and "Go slow! - 5 miles/hour".
A good start would be the oral stimulation known as "analingus", also called by people "rimming", making your partner totally relax and feel uptight. It's better if you use a dental dam for that, which diminishes the risk of infection. As she/he starts to get more comfortable it's about time to insert one of your fingers (not the thumb) inside. Your partner may feel like she/he needs to go to the bathroom, in case it is her/his first anal experiment - try to convince her/him that all is fine, there's nothing to worry about. In case it is painful immediately stop, because pain is not a part of the plan.
Instead of using their fingers or other body parts, some people prefer to call for anal sex toys. That's a marvelous way to unwind your tension and start enjoying anal exploration. Butt plugs, anal beads and anal dildos are very appropriate for that as they come in different sizes. The smaller ones for novices, whereas the larger ones for those who already have the "A-License". There are also available combined anal toys, which are anal dildos on one end and a butt plug or anal probe on the other end. Sometimes, there are moments when it's kind of difficult for you to relax, in those cases use a vibrating egg or bullet, they will surely relax you, you can take that for granted. Also, in men's case, anal probes and plugs are the perfect toys for prostate stimulation.
However, what's most important while trying to "unlock the backdoor", as it was mentioned in the above lines, are patience and communication. Talk to each other to make sure your partner is feeling all right and experiences no unpleasant sensations. Take your time and you'll understand that anal sex is at least worth trying.