Anal Toys and Anal Pleasure Sex Guides and Tips
Toys and Items. Part 3

Prostate / G-Spot Anal Toys. Anal Dildos.

Prostate/ G-Spot Anal Toys

Curved toys for anal play are primarily designed for prostate stimulation. The anal stimulation points in men and women are similar for the prostate and the G-Spot. This means all toys created for prostate stimulation will work for G-Spot massage (anally and vaginally). Furthermore certain toys created specifically for vaginal G-Spot stimulation will work for P-Spot massage. Before using a G-Spot toy for anal penetration make sure the toy has a long handle or a flared base (preferably the latter), is curved from the bottom of the toy (not just a little crook at the top), and has a bulbous head as opposed to a pointy one. G-Spot toys (meeting the previous standards) with clitoral stimulators, aka dual action toys, can be used for anal stimulation of both sexes. The shaft of the toy penetrates the rectum and the clitoral stimulator presses against the perineum.

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Many prostate massagers were originally designed by doctors to help maintain prostatic health. When the prostate is stimulated regularly, it helps keep the gland in shape and attentive. Not only is prostate massage good for you, but it feels incredible too. More men need to embrace the pleasure of the P-Spot the way that many women explored the G-Spot. There are all kinds of toys to assist in this stimulation; vibrators, probe devices, and dildos (see the Anal Dildo section for more information).

The point of rectal stimulation for the P-Spot and G-Spot is located 2-3 inches past the anal canal on the front wall of the rectum; apply pressure towards the front of the body. Remember when using a curved anal toy; have the curve facing your belly button. Start with other forms of stimulation before P-Spot or G-Spot massage because the body will become aroused, blood will rush to the pelvis, and the whole area will become flushed and engorged. These tricky spots will be easier to locate because the glands are filled with fluid creating a much larger target to tantalize.

Toys created for this type stimulation are usually hand held, flexible, and vibrate; many have mechanical parts that twist and turn to hit that magical spot over and over again. There are anal toys designed to apply firm pressure to the prostate or G-Spot, this feels earth-shattering for some people, and for others it may be too intense. The best way to find out what gets you off is experimentation; try it all, see what moves you.

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Anal Dildos

Dildos (dongs) compatible with anal penetration are curved and have a flared base (flange) to prevent losing the toy in your butt. A flange can simply flare out at the bottom or can have testicles at the base. The dildo's curved/flexible design is very versatile; they are vaginally compatible and are primarily marketed for this use. Dongs can be made of numerous materials; silicone, PVC, glass/Pyrex, metal, hard plastic, and various rubber substances. I recommend rubbery materials like silicone, PVC, rubber, and jelly for anal penetration. More specifically I would recommend silicone over the rest; it is worth the extra money, I pledge with great allegiance.

When choosing a dildo for anal penetration, keep a few things in mind:
  1. What size you are looking for? (length and width)
  2. What kind of texture/material? (rubbery, skin-like, hard)
  3. What curvature? (subtle, drastic, or none)
  4. Do you want it to look like a real penis, or not? (veiny, with testicles, futuristic, wild color)
  5. Do you want vibration? (permanent, removable, or none at all)
  6. Will you be using it with a strap-on harness? (right size O-ring, weight, flexibility, double ended, long enough)
  7. How much do you want to pay? ($15, $20, $35, $60+)

As a dildo fanatic I am very particular about my purchases and let me assure you, there is no right or wrong dildo overall; it just depends on what you want to use it for. For anal rookies I recommend the dildo be a firmer rubber (preferably silicone), slim (1 ½ inches or less), about 5-7 inches long, curved from the bottom (not just at the tip), with a flared base (this part is non-negotiable). I also recommend a dildo hollowed out at the bottom for a bullet vibrator. For anal newbies, vibration helps to relax those sphincters and rouse the blood vessels. These dildos are great because they have the benefits of dildos with built in vibes, but they are not as delicate and can take a good pounding. If the original bullet vibe breaks, throw it out and get a new one ($10-$15). Dildos with removable vibrators are also more convenient to clean.

If you are new to anal penetration; go slow, use plenty of lube, and have realistic expectations. Always start off with fingers and smaller toys before even thinking about penetration with large toys or a penis. You can't expect to painlessly go from anal rookie to full-steam penis-sized penetration in one night. If it hurts, you're doing something wrong. I cannot stress this enough; slow down, use more lube, and be patient with yourself and your partner.

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Most styles of anal toys (anal dildos, probes, beads, butt plugs, etc.) are available with or without a vibrating element. Vibration is a great option for anal novices to consider when purchasing their toys. A massaging sensation emits from vibrating toys which helps relax the whole anal anatomy; this makes penetration much easier. Another benefit of vibration, besides the obvious intensified pleasure, is its ability to stimulate the tissue and draw more blood into an area. It also keeps the blood circulating preventing congestion of the blood vessels (which may lead to hemorrhoids).

When an erogenous zone, such as the anus, swells with blood it creates a feeling of increased sensitivity and pleasure. Vibration not only creates higher intensity and speed of stimulation but can also allow tissue to be more receptive to other forms of pleasurable stimulation. For example, if you were wearing a vibrating butt plug and then receiving genital play (masturbation, penetration, oral sex, etc.) it would intensify the genital pleasure. Makes me wonder why I didn't get one sooner.

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One of my favorite things in the world is strap-on sex; that and pistachio nuts. A well made dildo is living up to its full potential when fitted in the O-ring of a harness. "What is a strap-on?" you might ask. It is a dildo attached to straps or a harness traditionally worn over the pubic mound, but there are many variations worn elsewhere; thighs, chest, face, furniture, etc. They are used by both genders for a number of reasons. Women get to penetrate their partners hands-free, people can play around gender (this is also known as gender-fuck or gender bending), and people can experiment with other identities. Strap-ons also assist in providing multiple penetrations in addition to other stimulation. Those with erectile dysfunction can penetrate their partners and in some situations, people can get a different visual and voyeuristic point of view during sex. There are so many possibilities when a strap-on has come into your sexual world. I will elaborate as you read further, but first let's discuss the tools of the trade.

A good harness can be pricey, especially when paired with an exquisite dildo, but the quality, compatibility, and versatility of purchasing an interchangeable harness is worth every penny. A well-made harness is a great investment if you are lucky enough to have people to use it on. High-quality harnesses are typically sold separately from their dildos, though some come in kits for newbies. These harnesses have O-rings centered on the front panel. O-rings hold the dildo in place and resemble cock rings made of rubber or metal. The most convenient harness models have removable O-rings that can be switched out for different sizes. One of the more frustrating strap-on mishaps is a dildo slipping out of the O-ring; make sure your ring fits nice and snug at the bottom of the shaft so the flange will not slip. With a wide variety of O-rings, you can be sure almost any dildo with a flared base can be compatible with your harness.

Harness Styles:

All-In-One Harnesses

"All-in-one" set ups are classified by a dong attached to some straps or built into a pair of panties. This is usually a more economically agreeable deal than purchasing the dildo and harness separately. The problem with buying these set-ups: you pretty much get what you pay for. All-in-ones come pre-assembled and the dildo is usually detachable for cleaning purposes or non-strap play. Well-made harness kits (with a harness and a medical grade, silicone dildo) differ from all-in-ones because the included harness is stronger, more versatile, and compatible with other dildos. The all-in-ones look cheap, but they are satisfactory for limited use. They don't give the same range of motion and body harmony (the ability of a strap-on to work in tandem with your motions) offered by other strap-on styles. If you are going to become a regular strapper, get a leather, high-grade vinyl, or imitation-leather harness.

Vibrating harness kitVibrating harness kit

Panty Harness

Most panty harnesses are similar to the "all-in-one" set-ups, but some are high quality models that offer a little more control and/or modesty. These harnesses look like panties with a dildo or O-ring coming out of the front end. The cheaper ones are made of latex or nylon. There is a higher quality model made with boy-shorts panties; this all around support gives better thrusting control. These models are also good for people who want get that "whip-it out", "quickie in a back alley" look; very raunchy and fun.

Other Examples:
Vibrating g-spot with adjustable harnessVibrating g-spot with adjustable harness

One-Strap/ G-String

One-strap harnesses look like thong underwear because (you guessed it) they have a strap that sits in the crack of your butt. It's a very sexy look; the harness tends to sit lower on the hips, therefore the dildo is lower and has a more realistic position. They come in leather and non-leather (faux-leather, nylon, or vinyl) materials and use buckles or D-Rings as fasteners. Buckled harnesses are usually better quality than D-Ring varieties, but they are less adjustable and generally not good for larger people. The benefit of buckles is their ability to hold the harness securely in the same fit, as opposed to adjustable D-Rings which may loosen up as you thrust into oblivion.

Because every harness is different I cannot explain precisely how to strap yourself in, but I can give you one crucial bit of advice: always try it on just after you get it, way before you intend to use it on someone else. Practice putting on your harness and adjusting the straps in different ways; you will be able to quickly slip on your precisely-fitted harness when your partner is awaiting your penetration. One-strap harnesses are typically easier to put on than the two-strap versions. The O-ring will need to rest over your pubic mound; from this point you can typically figure out where to put your legs through. Once you find the front O-ring (some versions have a ring that rests above the ass for style) you must look at the front of the harness as an isosceles triangle with a strap connected to each point. The two straps connected to the top points will rest around your hips like a belt and the bottom strap will go between your legs like a thong. Adjust the straps and make them a hair tighter than what feels comfortable. Most people are used to strapping on belts, which aren't nearly snug enough for good thrust control.

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Two/ Double Strap

The two-strap harness is also known as the Jock-Strap style; this may give you a hint how it's supposed to fit. Some of the best harnesses on the market are two-strap models; one strap fitted around each leg. They seem more complicated right off the rack, but once you slip your legs into those loops you will never look back. Two-strap harnesses are stronger and therefore more stable for thrusting. I am a big fan of the two-strap because it leaves the crotch uncovered for easy-access and mutual stimulation.

Double straps take some finesse to put on; don't expect to get it perfect the first time. This is why you must play dress-up a few times before you using your new harness with a partner. Practice putting on you harness, if it has special features like another hole for self penetrating attachments then try to explore those possibilities. Play around with the different buckles and/or D-rings to get the perfect fit. Try different dildos and see if the O-ring is the right size for your toys.

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Miscellaneous Harness Styles:

These unconventional harnesses exemplify the huge spectrum of sexual possibilities that only strapping can bring. You can open up a whole new world of positions and visual perspectives by incorporating dildo harnesses made for thighs, chest, face, or furniture into your partner sex (or solo; strapping to a chair = Royal Pleasure Throne). I could go on for days about the creative uses for these miscellaneous harnesses. I'll let you in on a secret: There is no right or wrong way to strap, it's all about finding what you and your partner like. So if that involves double penetration with the help of a thigh harness, or strapping on a chest harness to get a front row seat to your partner's pleasure, then I support your sexual creativity with great pride. Just because the hips aren't driving doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride.

Thigh leather harness Thigh leather harness

Vac-U-Lock System:

A big concern about strap-ons is the ergonomic design of the harness; the device's ability to work in tandem with the body of its wearer. This becomes an issue when you are thrusting away and you feel like you have no control over the dildo; enter the Vac-U-Lock system. The term Vac-U-Lock directly refers to the Doc Johnson line of locking harnesses and attachments, but other companies make products with the same principle. This style is manufactured with a small, protruding plug that connects specially designed dildos (only compatible with locking harnesses of the same manufacturer) to a pelvic plate built into the harness; thus uniting human and device in ergonomic ecstasy. Personally, I like to feel bionic while having sex. "I can fulfill you, I have the technology." You and your partner deserve a "6 Million Dollar" bang as well.

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Dual Function Harnesses Wear:

During strap-on sex, as amazing as being the insertive partner is…the experience does leave you feeling a bit left out in the stimulation department. I love a strap-on blow job or the satisfied look on my partner's face as much as the next girl, but sometimes you want more than voyeuristic eye candy. I take a proactive initiative towards my own pleasure by purchasing toys and harnesses designed for dual pleasure. There are harnesses with holes for two dildos (one faces out and the other inserts into the wearer) or butt plug attachments; all designed with the concept of mutual stimulation in mind. Another style of harness sports a tiny pocket to hide a bullet vibrator inside the front panel (for stimulation of both insertive and penetrative partners).

Then there are the so-called "strapless" strap-ons, cleverly angled double dildos that theoretically don't require a harness. I own the Feeldoe Slim by Tantus and I must say it's a thing of beauty (with a partner AND solo). The Feeldoe is solid, medical grade silicone with a dildo on one end and a butt plug-like bulb on the other (and between the two resides a hole to insert a bullet vibe). This toy is awesome and well made, but you need some seriously strong pelvic floor muscles to keep the bulb inside yourself while you're thrusting into someone. In order to stabilize the toy, it helps to wear a harness; the variety with a hole in the front panel that goes all the way through (not covered by fabric or leather like other styles). Another note about the Feeldoe is the bulb/dildo design is not meant for both partners to receive an in/out motion (as opposed to the Nexus by Vixen Creations), but it is extremely pleasurable to feel the vibration and tension from the other person, which presses the bulb into the G-Spot or prostate.

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Men and Strap-Ons

Strap-ons are not only for girl-on-girl action. Men can be on either end of the harness for a variety of different play and purposes. A man might want to wear a strap on for double penetration, or might enjoy the idea of penetrating his partner with a penis other than his own. Another reason men wear strap-ons is erectile dysfunction (ED); an inability to maintain an erection. We have recently been bombarded with information about ED and potential treatments of the condition; many of which are pills with major side effects ranging from stomach pain and to temporary loss of vision. Because these medications cause a change in blood pressure, they can be potentially dangerous for people with blood or heart conditions. Needless to say, this may not seem safe to a number of individuals. A lot of men just want to pleasure their partner in whatever way they can and the strap-on allows them to penetrate without the issue of losing an erection.

On the opposite side of the harness, straight men enjoy the opportunity to receive penetration from their female partners. I talked to and received letters from a lot of men longing for strap-on sex with their girlfriends or wives, but have not discussed it out of fear they might freak out their partner. It's sad this completely reasonable form of sexual pleasure is such a taboo for so many. Any sex between a man and a woman is heterosexual. I love it when men are all about letting me give this amazing gift pleasure to them. In straight relationships men are always concerned about their sexual performance; this gives them the opportunity to just receive it without any performance anxiety and the negativity felt by some about blowjobs. Plus it's a way for a man to connect to his girlfriends/wife with a gesture of trust; letting his partner inside of him. Furthermore, anal penetration massages the prostate and stimulates all the nerve endings in the butt; an immensely sublime feeling for men.

Advice from Double D: Bend Over Boyfriend